Boards›Player Behavior

I crossed a line tonight and I need to report myself.

Strawberrycocoa··4 votes·439 views

Can't really think clearly through the self loathing and disgust so going to make this concise.

I'm a toxic player who has fallen through the cracks. I try to bite my tongue but the toxicity keeps coming back out. Sometimes I type in in a furor but delete it before sending it. Today, as has happened other days, I didn't delete it before sending it. That wasn't an accident, I got too mad and stopped caring enough to bite back the psychotic shit that comes into my head when I'm frustrated and tired.

I went to all chat and told a guy who was outplaying me in lane that I hoped he got in a car wreck that took away his legs.

I'm tired. I'm so damn tired of being so god damn horrible on the inside and everyone thinking I'm a good person when Im not. And I don't know how I haven't been banned years ago for the shit I say in moments of impotent gamer-rage, but I'm tired of the person I become when I'm losing or being chain-killed in this game.

I want to request my account be banned or deleted, please. I've tried uninstalling the game in the past and I always come back a few months later. I think it's time that I do something to make coming back an impossibility. I've hurt enough people as it is. I'm not worthy of being a Summoner anymore.

9 Comments

Zombie Gerbil3 votes

It really takes a lot to admit the wrongs. You know, the right step to a better path is knowing where you're wrong. If you do get your account deleted, you might regret it in a few years. When you truly better yourself and acknowledge the things you do and say. If I was you, and I was on the path of bettering myself and improving myself control, as I know you already said you did once, but uninstall and find other competitive games you play.

Maybe I can make some suggestions how I keep my cool. When I really lose my cool, I just play some single-player games. Then I expand my competitive games. Between Overwatch, Gwent, and back to League. I do exactly same things you've done. I'm sure a lot of other people do as well when you type something out and end up deleting it. But when I do that, after that game, I play a different game to soothe my mood. Calling it a night sometimes.

I hope you do figure it out. If you do end up blocking your account, then I wish you luck.

Strawberrycocoa2 votes

Sometimes jumping to another game or activity does help. But I've been trying to get my League Temper under control for years now, and it's not ever really gone anywhere. I don't flip out like that in any other game. Only League.

The match I flipped out on today, I was playing with a guy who introduced himself to me yesterday after I made a post asking for help with orbwalking. He offered to play with me. I said what I said to the enemy, and the guy I was playing with said, "You seemed so nice yesterday."

Truth hurts. I wish I wasn't such a shit person, but League brings that out in me. I don't know if I have any other option but to just... walk away from it permanently.

Trying to talk to some friends about it before I do anything irreversible. But I'm just... I'm just so damn tired of how much of a %%%% I become when I play League.

Zombie Gerbil3 votes

That's really unfortunate. Normally I don't welcome players with poor attitudes, but mostly due to them having ill intents in general. Your case is another matter. I can understand your struggle. I just don't find you to be a crappy person. Crappy people don't put effort into any positive cause. You're making an effort in trying. Which makes all the differences. I do understand some games are just not meant for them. If you see that League is bringing out the worst in you, then yes, it would be a wise move to step away from this game.

While I would try and advise you against banning your account, it is your account, and it is your choice. I'll respect that and wish you all the luck in the world in finding an actual game you can really enjoy. But I would like to say, a player of League for 8 years, I've seen the goods, the bads, and the absolute terrible of all attitudes, you, my friend, you have good intentions and I only say that because you are stepping away because you hate the feeling of having a poor attitude, lack of enjoying it and don't want to ruin the game for other players. That alone says a lot about your character. That shows me the good in you.

I wish you luck friend. If you ever need a friend, just find this name. I go by this on Gwent, League, Overwatch, and PS4.

ModDaenrysTargaryen2 votes

If you really want to Terminate your account

https://na.leagueoflegends.com/en/legal/termsofuse#account-termination Read 2.1.1 I would advise against it but it is your account.

Strawberrycocoa1 votes

Thank you. You're an angel.

TheProfezzor2 votes

Good on you for knowing and admitting your faults. That being said, what you said was pretty extreme and I agree, you should be banned. If Riot is watching, please ban this guy.

Strawberrycocoa1 votes

I hope they do. Then I'll be free.

nerak232 votes

{quoted}

I hope they do. Then I'll be free.

I'm going to agree with the others on this, just posting today is a step in the right direction.

Try something first, if you want, unbind your enter key for a game or two. It may help you break the habit that you say you can't he!p.

Anyway, Bravo to you for trying. Don't let a Game ruin your self respect. And finally, very good luck to you w/e you decide !! Happy holidays :)

sAyCo1 votes

don't ban ur account just leave it as it is

More from Player Behavior

The indefinite banning of Tyler1
Player Behavior4,799 comments
2,942
votes
14 day ban because playing Nunu Support with Smite is "stealing other people's roles"...?
Player Behavior1,525 comments
1,086
votes
Riot should add monthly status cards
Player Behavior241 comments
843
votes
Reminder that we haven't gotten our Summoner report cards yet :/
Player Behavior145 comments
619
votes
I'm not "triggered" by you throwing insults.
Player Behavior361 comments
548
votes
Black Alistar, King Rammus!!!!
Player Behavior462 comments
503
votes

More by Strawberrycocoa

A thought: Make Zed need to stay inside a tether range for his ult to detonate
Gameplay194 comments
223
votes
So I'm watching the progress on the Pool Party rewards, and getting a bit mad at how it was setup.
[ARCHIVED] Miscellaneous177 comments
202
votes
Just curious, why does Lee Sin need %HP damage when his key targets are squishies, not tanks?
Gameplay134 comments
176
votes
Does Veterans Scars look over-nerfed to anyone else?
Gameplay101 comments
167
votes
I don't understand why mobile/evasive champs get to enjoy strong damage values
Gameplay143 comments
127
votes
How come Lissandra got her waveclear nerfed before Zed did?
Gameplay151 comments
124
votes