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hi guys, help me to reform

Yuumi or Dodge··7 votes·8,207 views

about me. i am 15 years old. despite my name i love to play many champions but currently i am trying to main aurelion sol. i just finished important final exams.

since starting to play league in june 2017, i have acquired a total of 31 permanently banned accounts. 2 accounts that i no longer play on because they have a chat restriction, and two more accounts that have a 14 day suspension. my earliest permaban was at level 15. my earliest chat ban was level 3.

maybe you think I'm a sick minded individual from this information, and trust me I know. But I want to change that.

Back when i only had a few bans, I talked back to people who flamed me and nothing else. I used to almost be like a deer in headlights, talking back to flamers but never insulting them before I would report them. Back then I was Bronze 3, I was awful at the game, I got flamed every single game I played, by allies and enemies alike. Every game. I didn't know there was a mute function back then. And I believe my habit of flaming was simply born from being harrassed and insulted every single game I played. Some grow thick skin, but I just grew the balls to fight back, and eventually flame others.

Enough with that. What provokes my flaming is when my jungler is truly useless. When I get ganked 7 times in 10 minutes, and my jungler is farming his raptors while I'm being towerdived without a single care in the world. That's what puts me on tilt and when I'm on tilt I start to talk trash. I wanna have fun with this game but it's getting difficult like this.

Maybe you'll think, "Just mute all! Just disable your enter key!"

Mute all doesn't stop me typing to people. And, what is the point of disabling my enter key? sure, I won't run a risk of losing my account. But I will probably still tilt, and probably afk since I am very bad at handling pent up frustration. even if I'm not able to talk, I bet that I will end up removing the restriction in a fit of anger and bring everything down on myself.

A simple keybinding or command won't fix my mental. that's the real problem here. I feel a sick anxiety before even queuing up for a game. something that shouldnt be associated with a video game. can anybody help me?

38 Comments

GatekeeperTDS10 votes

What provokes my flaming is when my jungler is truly useless.

This is your problem right here, and since you're young, let an old man lecture you for just a couple minutes. :)

This isn't something you're going to have to deal with in just League, this is a life thing, and it's going to happen in many different kinds of scenarios. It's somewhere between "mind your own business" (doesn't really apply, because it's a team game) and "not my monkeys, not my circus." You're focusing on someone else and their performance instead of your own, and whether you believe it or not, this is harming your own performance. Every second of time and every ounce of attention you're giving to what you think this other person should be doing, is distracting you from your own goals and harming your team as well. This is the kind of thing that will get you fired from a job IRL.

Now, I'll come at this from a point of agreement that "the jungler was shit" even though that might not be the case. If the jungler is shit, you can't do anything about it. Not a single thing. And as you've discovered, you've been punished for the way you've handled this situation. Same thing if this were a job. If you're so focused on a coworker's performance that your own performance is suffering, you're going to lose your job. It's your manager's job to deal with that other coworker, not you. League games unfortunately have no manager, but the reasoning is the same - you are not your jungler's boss.

To deal with this and reform? It's not easy. But you can make it easier by separating what's easy from what's hard.

What's hard is to control your emotions, pretend to not have them, or suppress them. That's hard and doesn't work. You're allowed to be upset, frustrated, anxious. What you can control (and again, life skill here, not just League) is your REACTIONS to those emotions. Swear outloud, punch a pillow, get up to take a piss, whatever you can do to not rage at people in-game.

I feel a sick anxiety before even queuing up for a game. something that shouldnt be associated with a video game.

As I've told people in other threads, not everyone can thrive in every kind of environment and there's no shame in that. If League makes you sick to your stomach, stop playing League. Free time is a valuable, finite resources that you will eventually run out of, and you owe it to yourself to spend it having fun.

ModThe Djinn4 votes

Remember that it's impossible for someone to play their best every time. 50% of games you play will be below average for you, and that's true of everyone else. This means that, at any given time, 2-3 players on your team are likely playing worse than they normally do.

Additionally, your own perception of what is going on in the game is limited by your viewpoint and the things you see. There's often games where I think someone made a stupid move, downloaded the replay, and saw that they noticed something I didn't that would have gotten us both killed, or that I messed up a play a minute earlier that put me in that vulnerable position.

If you're ganked 7 times in 10 minutes, for example, that's a lane that, as a jungler, I'd ignore -- you're very far behind, and it's my job to try to help the team as a whole. I could spend my time on a losing lane to stem the bleeding, or I could try to get myself/others ahead through focusing on other lanes and objective control so we have a stronger team to deal with 1-2 fed champions. In many cases that's the RIGHT call, much as it sucks for the laner who is getting camped. 7 ganks in 10 minutes, however, likely means you also could probably have warded more and played safer.

It's for this reason that my recommendation is always this: worry about your own gameplay, not the gameplay of others. Sometimes, sure, someone else misses something -- but sometimes you (or I, or anyone) misses stuff as well. We can't MAKE other players pay attention to us, but we CAN work on how we can prevent getting ganked, or dying again in lane, or how well we farm under tower, or how well we learn to play while behind. Focus on that stuff and keep your chat limited to planning / encouraging your team, and the game gets a lot less frustrating.

You can't win them all, and that needs to be something you both understand and are okay with. If it's not, League just won't be fun for you.

Yuumi or Dodge1 votes

I understand this, it's just very hard to work into my mentality. I appreciate the lengthy response - I made mistakes too that game, but it doesn't help that my adc wants to add fuel to the fire by pointing out everyone's amount of deaths and spam pinging her support's frostfang for some reason - despite the fact that I camped her lane..

Madjack011 votes

[{quoted}](name=Yuumi or Dodge,realm=EUW,application-id=ZGEFLEUQ,discussion-id=fQBqp9Aj,comment-id=00030000,timestamp=2019-06-23T16:07:32.570+0000)

I understand this, it's just very hard to work into my mentality. I appreciate the lengthy response - I made mistakes too that game, but it doesn't help that my adc wants to add fuel to the fire by pointing out everyone's amount of deaths and spam pinging her support's frostfang for some reason - despite the fact that I camped her lane..

If I interpret your post correctly, you tend to see (or think to see) a lot of mistakes being made by others and it annoys you. When somebody flames you for every little thing, try to imagine that they think just like you and how ridiculous it all is in the end. Maybe you can even laugh about it after a while.

Yuumi or Dodge1 votes

Yes, this is true in real life too, I tend to see the worst and the mistakes in people rather than the opposite. But I am trying to change that.

ModThe Djinn1 votes

[{quoted}](name=Yuumi or Dodge,realm=EUW,application-id=ZGEFLEUQ,discussion-id=fQBqp9Aj,comment-id=00030000,timestamp=2019-06-23T16:07:32.570+0000)I understand this, it's just very hard to work into my mentality.

It definitely can be, yeah.

What I found helps is setting yourself a mentality-based goal rather than a gameplay-based goal. For example, "be the most positive player on my team" or "recognize every good play my teammates make" or "acknowledge my own mistakes in a responsible, self-aware fashion." It'll feel weird at first, but it'll help get you into the habit of looking for the good things other players do instead of focusing on the bad things.

Because I think we'd all rather play with the player who goes "Top could use a bit of help if you see an opportunity -- I'm really struggling up here" than the one who goes "Why the fuck aren't you top? I've been ganked seven times!" This is especially true if the top laner is aware of the good players you make elsewhere even if you're not helping him, or lets you know things like "Just got a gank top -- I died, but you guys might be able to Dragon off of that."

Kei1433 votes

You get good at the game and know when they are going to tower dive and back of.

Good ward timings can help.

As a support main, I don't understand why by bot laner partner would scream for wards when the enemy jg and mid laner are all visible at the opposite side of the map. Me warding at that point would just have wasted at least 45 seconds of the ward.

Also learning how to wave manage, CSing under tower, and wave clear patterns are very strong points to learn.

Yuumi or Dodge1 votes

There isn't much I can do when I get ganked 2 minutes into the game, it fails, I farm for another 30 seconds and back, and get towerdived and die while my jungler is still farming his second camp. Is that my mistake, or am i just unlucky?

Kei1431 votes

Surely there are things you can change, but hard to tell without a replay.

Sometimes it can be positioning, sometimes it's CD management, sometimes it's mana management, sometimes it's just map awareness, Sometimes it's about knowing your matchups and the things your other teammates and enemies can/can not do.

If you can upload the rofl file, we can download it and review it. But remember the replays can't be transferred between patches. So if you are going to upload, make sure it's not on tuesday night.

Thefrostyviking2 votes

Aight this is both a easy and a tough one, as many mental questions are.

What you ought to do, more than anything at all, is basically ignore the performance of your team as much as possible and simply focus on yourself, dont mind your jungler getting eaten by the chickens or botlane farming about as skillfully as a nobleman equipped with a spoon, instead just look at yourself.

What am i playing? What am i up against in lane? What can i hope to do in this lane? What should i expect from the enemy jungle and how do i avoid a bad hit from that side?

Then you go in and play, do your best to hold this mentality and dont mind the others, then you look back and try to figure what you could have done better.

View the others as irrelevant for to you they are, the only thing you ought to focus on is your own performance. ......well requesting that they ping MIA/SS if you get hit by a roam without warning is fair in my book though-

As long as you play well and slowly improve you´ll gradually find yourself more and more able to influence how a match goes and perhaps even outright carry it, but this all starts with not losing your cool over silly matters that you have no control over in the first place.

The enemy jungle is on your case while your own is dying in a truly horrifying way to the birds? Alright, then you simply have to do what you can to survive and you´ll have done really well, a jungle camp is hard for anyone to deal with.

If you fail and fall behind? Alright, then its a matter of not falling further behind as much as possible while looking for comeback opportunities.

If your teammates fall behind? Meh its on them not you, one cannot prevent the rain from falling nor some random chaps from falling face first, so its best to just not mind it at all.

Not sure if this is terribly helpful but its my take on it all as someone who has gotten banned like ......once around the time i started playing back in season 3 and just for a week at that if memory serves.

Nhika1 votes

[deleted]

GatekeeperTDS7 votes

Dude came here asking for help. This isn't the typical "ZOMG RITO I DON'T DESERVE THE PUNISHMENT" thread. There's no reason to be an ass.

Nhika1 votes

{quoted}

Dude came here asking for help. This isn't the typical "ZOMG RITO I DON'T DESERVE THE PUNISHMENT" thread. There's no reason to be an ass.

No sympathy for toxic players. Which he is. Time to finally give him some hard truth, which he needs.

He literally continues to be toxic, troll games and int, then hates on his team, for 30 accounts in a row. And admits that he does it LOL.

Keep defending him all you want.

GatekeeperTDS2 votes

I'm not defending his shite behavior, he knows it's shite behavior. The dude asked for advice, so advice I gave.

Madjack011 votes

Hmm, sounds like it might help you to get a change of focus.

The goal is not to win. The goal is to play to the best of your abilities and improve. You get ganked a million times and your jungler/team doesn't do anything to take advantage of that? Well, your chances to win just plummeted, but that's fine. You 're not focussed on winning, you're focussed on personally doing the best with every situation. It's important that you can say that you tried to do everything right given the circumstances, even if that means not having much fun.

A lot of frustration comes from people trying to control everything. Your team sucks, they react toxic to every advice you give; it's hard not to feel a sense of helplessness. That's a feeling we all hate and try to avoid (sometimes through flaming or rationalizing it away).

You can alleviate that by shifting your focus away from winning (which is not entirely in your control) and towards what you can control: your gameplay.

Not that it's easy, but maybe this approach can help you in at least a little way.

BLACK REALM GOD1 votes

I noticed that your account is on the EUW servers. According to studies (and please correct me if I'm wrong) there seems to be a stigma in that area against males looking for counseling OR there's a lack of trained counselors in the area. The fact that you're prone to fits of rage could be related to puberty and hormonal imbalance. It could also be a sign of anger management issues. There's also the issue of EUW and the US having different cultures. Riot Games is a US based company and so the TOS and mindset for this game is primarily designed with US culture in mind I think (once again someone correct me if I'm wrong. I don't want to give false information). With that in mind it's possible that the "grow balls and fight back" mentality is just a part of your culture. If you want to change your behavior then the best advice that I can give you is...

Try to understand this.

Regardless of what lane you're in - your opponent is the person that gets assigned to the same lane as you. Your job is to perform better than your opponent. How you choose to do that is up to you.

The same goes for Jungler.

Now the question is - what does "perform better" mean? To put it in simplest terms you need to be earning more gold and XP than your opponent. How your team chooses to manage those two currencies is the only difference between winning and losing.

Let's put this into a scenario. You did not specify your lane. So I'm going to assume that you're a mid laner.

In mid lane your opponent is behind. You've traded really well and now your opponent has less HP than you. They're forced to sit at the back of the minion wave and can't farm gold. This player is duoing with jungle. They ask their jungle friend to come assist them. Because they're duoing the jungle friend feels an obligation to assist the mid lane player. Jungle takes his blue buff and comes mid.

What should you do?

  • At this point you should retreat.
  • ping for assistance if you THINK you can take the two champions together.
  • wait for confirmation that assistance is coming
  • wait for the jungle to initiate the engagement
  • follow up from a safe distance
  • back for items if you have the gold
  • return to lane
  • play from your side of the lane because jungler might be camping your lane
  • place a control ward nearby your lane that wont get destroyed to defend against the enemy junglers pathing

if your jungle decides that it's better for him to clear the jungle then try to understand that that is a valid tactic. If the jungler hasn't bought enough items or has already used his blue buff/red buff and doesn't have it going into the fight then it might be better for that jungle to continue to focus earning XP and gold in their side of the jungle. If your team knows where the enemy jungler is then your jungler knows which camps to take. Beyond that there are some champions like shyvanna and ivern that have to focus the jungle and they do it extremely well. In these instances it's very likely that the enemy jungler is losing his camps and is being forced into a lane. It's your job as the laner to continue to entice that jungler to come to your lane. If you can do that without dying then he will fall behind and be unable to contest epic monsters.

By reading into your complaint I have envisioned a scenario where you're playing as... AurelionSol and you're against a Veigar +Warwick

i imagine that your jungler is someone like... Udyr

at the beginning of the game even if your jungler chooses to ignore the 2v1 scenario that was created on the enemies team it's still your job as the mid laner to not die. If you're scared of getting dived then buy zhonyas, gargoyle stoneplate, warmogs, rylias, rod of ages, banshees veil, archangel staff, proto belt or glp-800, locket of the iron solari, zz rot, randuins omen, redemption, reverie, steraks gage, sunfire cape, thornmail etc. if you're fearful that you wont be able to run away then just buy something that will help you not die. builds need to be flexible.

One thing about Sol is that he's immobile. He doesn't have a dash, a flash, a blink, etc. So you need to build with that in mind. If an enemy can get on top of you then you're dead. And it's not the jungler's job to keep you alive.

Yuumi or Dodge1 votes

In this match, I was AurelionSol. My jungler was Mordekaiser. The enemy mid and jungle were Camille and Orianna . Camille had ganked me twice before my jungelr had even finished his second camp, and there was little I could do since I had to get so close to the wave in order to farm. Felt like there was nothing I could've done and my adc constant flaming and pinging only tilted me more.

BLACK REALM GOD1 votes

[{quoted}](name=Yuumi or Dodge,realm=EUW,application-id=ZGEFLEUQ,discussion-id=fQBqp9Aj,comment-id=00050000,timestamp=2019-06-23T16:41:18.535+0000)

In this match, I was AurelionSol. My jungler was Mordekaiser. The enemy mid and jungle were Camille and Orianna . Camille had ganked me twice before my jungelr had even finished his second camp, and there was little I could do since I had to get so close to the wave in order to farm. Felt like there was nothing I could've done and my adc constant flaming and pinging only tilted me more.

Okay so let me address this specific scenario.

As Sol you're going to lose lane against orianna. That's a fact. You have no way to deal enough damage to her and her ball's range outranges your Q's range and your extended W. Since you're immobile all she has to do is sit her ball on you and press all of her buttons for an easy kill. In this scenario and with many other scenarios similar to this one you're going to want to build zz'rot. It will help keep you from dying and provide you with a way to farm the minion wave from a safe distance. The fact that Camille was there of course did not help the matter, but Mordekaiser would have done poorly against her in a 1v1 even if he used his R. Mordekaiser's Q only works if the opponent is singled out. The insane amounts of shields and damage that that combo can deal to an unprepared player is pretty drastic.

Camille is a world class diver and isolater. More than likely these two were indeed duoing for the synergy of their champs as those are unusual champions to see played. Even if mordekaiser had came mid he could not have helped you.

During this duo mid camping you your best bet would have been to stay out of camilles lunge range. Her hookshot lunge is how she sets up her dives. Eventually had she stayed in the lane without getting a kill she would have had to make the choice to return to the jungle starved or continue to starve her mid laner. it's fine if you dont get any gold for the first 10 minutes of the game as long as you're getting xp and not dying. eventually you will outscale a duo lane as a solo lane. they also have to back to buy items and when that happens you'll have a lane to yourself. meanwhile your team is going to be outscaling and out farming those two players.

this is really just a miscalculation on your part and there was nothing to flame your allies over - nor should they have flamed you for dying as it's hard to stay alive as sol 2v1. That's the downside of the champion you've picked to main. He's DPS and not burst. You have to build him so he can take a beating and still dish out damage.

Kei1431 votes

Camille, Xin Zhao, Shaco, sometimes J4, Lee sin and Reksai are all notorious for red > lvl2 gank. So you have to respect it and position accordingly. Especially true for A.Sol whom don't have an escape.

Those champs I mentioned are good level3 gankers as well. So you need to know their gank timings (you can learn those by watching replays or playing those champs yourself).

Morde on the other hand, while got a decent clear, isn't much of a lvl 2 ganker. From a psychological standpoint, new champs probably won't be used to lvl2 gank that soon, as people are still learning them. So I expect passive play and lots of mistakes from them.

Madjack011 votes

[{quoted}](name=BLACK REALM GOD,realm=NA,application-id=ZGEFLEUQ,discussion-id=fQBqp9Aj,comment-id=0005,timestamp=2019-06-23T16:24:56.389+0000)

I noticed that your account is on the EUW servers. According to studies (and please correct me if I'm wrong) there seems to be a stigma in that area against males looking for counseling OR there's a lack of trained counselors in the area.

Maybe a bit off topic, but I've studied and worked in the field if criminology and depending on what science you call home there is a stigma against psychology and counseling people (not just males)

There is a lame joke we like to tell: "A psychologist can change a light bulb,but only if that light bulb wants to be changed." Not to say that that psychology often gets laughed at as a wannabe science.

There is also no unity that says that pure counseling actually works if a person couldn't have changed through their own will anyways.

Personally I believe much of that stems from the fact that counseling people is not a standalone thing to do, but rather a cog that needs to work together with other cogs in the great machine of change. (Forgive me the theatrical description)

The Ecdysiast1 votes

Two-step plan:

Step 1. At the start of the game, every game, type, /mute all. You will no longer see anything to respond to.

Step 2. Play jungle. You can't blame the jungler for your mistakes if you are the jungler.

C9 Aphrolift1 votes

[{quoted}](name=Yuumi or Dodge,realm=EUW,application-id=ZGEFLEUQ,discussion-id=fQBqp9Aj,comment-id=,timestamp=2019-06-23T15:42:47.183+0000)

A simple keybinding or command won't fix my mental. that's the real problem here. I feel a sick anxiety before even queuing up for a game. something that shouldnt be associated with a video game. can anybody help me?

Spend a little bit of time working on this every day...try meditation it will do wonders for your mental game.

Eventually you'll learn to accept things you can't control like the performances of other players.

Luther King Jr V1 votes

31 perma bans wtf do u get permad every time u queue up for a game

Yuumi or Dodge1 votes

my first ever perma ban was in august 2017 i think, 2 months after i first started playing the game, and it has gone downhill since then

Luther King Jr V1 votes

well the only thing you could do is go back to being gentle and not jump on every chance of an argument or a fight u come across

even if it feels good to defend yourself this community will never have a shortage of idiots that will try to piss you off and you have to make a choice what's more important your account standing or winning an argument with a random irrelevant person

Yuumi or Dodge1 votes

yes i have been trying my best and trying to be positive instead of negative. my last game my jungler abandoned me to die in a 1v2,i started typing a paragraph to him, before deleting it and typing "mb" instead, encouraging our botlane throughout the game too, and i think it's what let us win...our jungler kept saying the game was over every time he died and im sure me flaming on him wouldve made him afk

thepowerlies1 votes

best way to reform is to stop playing this game lol

Iron Phantom1 votes

Wait... how the hell do you manage to get banned so much, I've owned this account since 2009 - 2010, and I've yet to get any form of penalty.

Telephone Booth1 votes

Yeah, play something less stressful to you. Do something you enjoy with your free time. Not something that gives you anxiety.

KFCeytron1 votes

To be perfectly honest with you, this is something you should be discussing with your parents. "Just mute everyone," "recall more often," etc. isn't going to be useful advice when you're in a group project for school and someone in your group never does any work (there's always someone like that). You don't need League-specific advice; you need skills and strategies to help you cope with other people who may or may not meet your expectations, because everyone needs to deal with that throughout their life, at least occasionally.

Yuumi or Dodge1 votes

Well, i'm not like this in real life. In school i don't associate with anybody and teachers let me do my group projects solo. i'm only like this in league. but probably the cause is playing too many league games in a row, i'm taking long breaks and playing riders of icarus most of the day, and when i returned to league i was surprised by how much i was able to resist saying mildly toxic things and only typing positivity in the chat. :)

KFCeytron1 votes

[{quoted}](name=Yuumi or Dodge,realm=EUW,application-id=ZGEFLEUQ,discussion-id=fQBqp9Aj,comment-id=000d0000,timestamp=2019-06-25T07:14:46.649+0000)

Well, i'm not like this in real life. In school i don't associate with anybody and teachers let me do my group projects solo. i'm only like this in league. but probably the cause is playing too many league games in a row, i'm taking long breaks and playing riders of icarus most of the day, and when i returned to league i was surprised by how much i was able to resist saying mildly toxic things and only typing positivity in the chat. :)

If you had more opportunities to practice being social and learn how to interact with others instead of being isolated from human contact at all times except when playing LoL, you would probably have a much easier time dealing with other people. Do group projects in a group, try to talk to your classmates outside of class, maybe join a youth group or something... your parents are the best source of ideas for this stuff. Just explain to them the same thing you've explained to us (you've been permabanned dozens of times from a game you enjoy because you scream at everyone nonstop the instant they bother you and you'd like to change this), and I'm sure they'll be happy to help you learn and grow.

Yuumi or Dodge1 votes

my life has been the way it was for the last 4 years, long before i started playing league. nothing needs to change, in real life i am a gentle individual who is prone to snappping at people who provoke me. same thing in league and it's the reason i have been banned so much.

KFCeytron1 votes

[{quoted}](name=Yuumi or Dodge,realm=EUW,application-id=ZGEFLEUQ,discussion-id=fQBqp9Aj,comment-id=000d000000000000,timestamp=2019-06-25T12:03:20.145+0000)

my life has been the way it was for the last 4 years, long before i started playing league. nothing needs to change, in real life i am a gentle individual who is prone to snappping at people who provoke me. same thing in league and it's the reason i have been banned so much.

If "nothing needs to change," why are you asking for help to change? You're a gentle individual, except when you're raging and screaming at people so frequently that you've gotten almost three dozen banned accounts in just two years on a game that forms virtually all of your social interaction, as you're apparently ostracized IRL?

This is not a League issue, and it's more than a bunch of strangers on Boards are qualified to handle. It's about your ability to learn, grow, and successfully interact with other people. Talk to your parents about this.

Yuumi or Dodge1 votes

nothing in my life needs to change, it's a mentality thing and one that i think ive gone a long way to solving already. although i dont see why you feeling the need to get involved

KFCeytron1 votes

[{quoted}](name=Yuumi or Dodge,realm=EUW,application-id=ZGEFLEUQ,discussion-id=fQBqp9Aj,comment-id=000d00000000000000000000,timestamp=2019-06-29T10:45:46.895+0000)

nothing in my life needs to change, it's a mentality thing and one that i think ive gone a long way to solving already. although i dont see why you feeling the need to get involved

By your own admission, you're "a gentle individual" whose social skills involve screaming and raging at the few people you interact with. If you don't think you need to change, that's up to you, but I'm "involved" because you posted a thread asking for help. Did you forget?

Yuumi or Dodge1 votes

I don't do that in real life, never. And actually you have not seen my chat logs. I never "scream and rage" at people, just passive aggressive comments that over time lead to punishments. My LIFE doesn't need to change, my mentality does.

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