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hi guys, help me to reform

Yuumi or Dodge·6/23/2019, 3:42:47 PM·7 votes·8,207 views

about me. i am 15 years old. despite my name i love to play many champions but currently i am trying to main aurelion sol. i just finished important final exams.

since starting to play league in june 2017, i have acquired a total of 31 permanently banned accounts. 2 accounts that i no longer play on because they have a chat restriction, and two more accounts that have a 14 day suspension. my earliest permaban was at level 15. my earliest chat ban was level 3.

maybe you think I'm a sick minded individual from this information, and trust me I know. But I want to change that.

Back when i only had a few bans, I talked back to people who flamed me and nothing else. I used to almost be like a deer in headlights, talking back to flamers but never insulting them before I would report them. Back then I was Bronze 3, I was awful at the game, I got flamed every single game I played, by allies and enemies alike. Every game. I didn't know there was a mute function back then. And I believe my habit of flaming was simply born from being harrassed and insulted every single game I played. Some grow thick skin, but I just grew the balls to fight back, and eventually flame others.

Enough with that. What provokes my flaming is when my jungler is truly useless. When I get ganked 7 times in 10 minutes, and my jungler is farming his raptors while I'm being towerdived without a single care in the world. That's what puts me on tilt and when I'm on tilt I start to talk trash. I wanna have fun with this game but it's getting difficult like this.

Maybe you'll think, "Just mute all! Just disable your enter key!"

Mute all doesn't stop me typing to people. And, what is the point of disabling my enter key? sure, I won't run a risk of losing my account. But I will probably still tilt, and probably afk since I am very bad at handling pent up frustration. even if I'm not able to talk, I bet that I will end up removing the restriction in a fit of anger and bring everything down on myself.

A simple keybinding or command won't fix my mental. that's the real problem here. I feel a sick anxiety before even queuing up for a game. something that shouldnt be associated with a video game. can anybody help me?

38 Comments

GatekeeperTDS6/23/2019, 3:53:16 PM10 votes

What provokes my flaming is when my jungler is truly useless.

This is your problem right here, and since you're young, let an old man lecture you for just a couple minutes. :)

This isn't something you're going to have to deal with in just League, this is a life thing, and it's going to happen in many different kinds of scenarios. It's somewhere between "mind your own business" (doesn't really apply, because it's a team game) and "not my monkeys, not my circus." You're focusing on someone else and their performance instead of your own, and whether you believe it or not, this is harming your own performance. Every second of time and every ounce of attention you're giving to what you think this other person should be doing, is distracting you from your own goals and harming your team as well. This is the kind of thing that will get you fired from a job IRL.

Now, I'll come at this from a point of agreement that "the jungler was shit" even though that might not be the case. If the jungler is shit, you can't do anything about it. Not a single thing. And as you've discovered, you've been punished for the way you've handled this situation. Same thing if this were a job. If you're so focused on a coworker's performance that your own performance is suffering, you're going to lose your job. It's your manager's job to deal with that other coworker, not you. League games unfortunately have no manager, but the reasoning is the same - you are not your jungler's boss.

To deal with this and reform? It's not easy. But you can make it easier by separating what's easy from what's hard.

What's hard is to control your emotions, pretend to not have them, or suppress them. That's hard and doesn't work. You're allowed to be upset, frustrated, anxious. What you can control (and again, life skill here, not just League) is your REACTIONS to those emotions. Swear outloud, punch a pillow, get up to take a piss, whatever you can do to not rage at people in-game.

I feel a sick anxiety before even queuing up for a game. something that shouldnt be associated with a video game.

As I've told people in other threads, not everyone can thrive in every kind of environment and there's no shame in that. If League makes you sick to your stomach, stop playing League. Free time is a valuable, finite resources that you will eventually run out of, and you owe it to yourself to spend it having fun.

ModThe Djinn6/23/2019, 4:00:50 PM4 votes

Remember that it's impossible for someone to play their best every time. 50% of games you play will be below average for you, and that's true of everyone else. This means that, at any given time, 2-3 players on your team are likely playing worse than they normally do.

Additionally, your own perception of what is going on in the game is limited by your viewpoint and the things you see. There's often games where I think someone made a stupid move, downloaded the replay, and saw that they noticed something I didn't that would have gotten us both killed, or that I messed up a play a minute earlier that put me in that vulnerable position.

If you're ganked 7 times in 10 minutes, for example, that's a lane that, as a jungler, I'd ignore -- you're very far behind, and it's my job to try to help the team as a whole. I could spend my time on a losing lane to stem the bleeding, or I could try to get myself/others ahead through focusing on other lanes and objective control so we have a stronger team to deal with 1-2 fed champions. In many cases that's the RIGHT call, much as it sucks for the laner who is getting camped. 7 ganks in 10 minutes, however, likely means you also could probably have warded more and played safer.

It's for this reason that my recommendation is always this: worry about your own gameplay, not the gameplay of others. Sometimes, sure, someone else misses something -- but sometimes you (or I, or anyone) misses stuff as well. We can't MAKE other players pay attention to us, but we CAN work on how we can prevent getting ganked, or dying again in lane, or how well we farm under tower, or how well we learn to play while behind. Focus on that stuff and keep your chat limited to planning / encouraging your team, and the game gets a lot less frustrating.

You can't win them all, and that needs to be something you both understand and are okay with. If it's not, League just won't be fun for you.

Kei1436/23/2019, 3:51:52 PM3 votes

You get good at the game and know when they are going to tower dive and back of.

Good ward timings can help.

As a support main, I don't understand why by bot laner partner would scream for wards when the enemy jg and mid laner are all visible at the opposite side of the map. Me warding at that point would just have wasted at least 45 seconds of the ward.

Also learning how to wave manage, CSing under tower, and wave clear patterns are very strong points to learn.

Thefrostyviking6/23/2019, 4:45:14 PM2 votes

Aight this is both a easy and a tough one, as many mental questions are.

What you ought to do, more than anything at all, is basically ignore the performance of your team as much as possible and simply focus on yourself, dont mind your jungler getting eaten by the chickens or botlane farming about as skillfully as a nobleman equipped with a spoon, instead just look at yourself.

What am i playing? What am i up against in lane? What can i hope to do in this lane? What should i expect from the enemy jungle and how do i avoid a bad hit from that side?

Then you go in and play, do your best to hold this mentality and dont mind the others, then you look back and try to figure what you could have done better.

View the others as irrelevant for to you they are, the only thing you ought to focus on is your own performance. ......well requesting that they ping MIA/SS if you get hit by a roam without warning is fair in my book though-

As long as you play well and slowly improve you´ll gradually find yourself more and more able to influence how a match goes and perhaps even outright carry it, but this all starts with not losing your cool over silly matters that you have no control over in the first place.

The enemy jungle is on your case while your own is dying in a truly horrifying way to the birds? Alright, then you simply have to do what you can to survive and you´ll have done really well, a jungle camp is hard for anyone to deal with.

If you fail and fall behind? Alright, then its a matter of not falling further behind as much as possible while looking for comeback opportunities.

If your teammates fall behind? Meh its on them not you, one cannot prevent the rain from falling nor some random chaps from falling face first, so its best to just not mind it at all.

Not sure if this is terribly helpful but its my take on it all as someone who has gotten banned like ......once around the time i started playing back in season 3 and just for a week at that if memory serves.

C9 Aphrolift6/23/2019, 4:26:16 PM1 votes

[{quoted}](name=Yuumi or Dodge,realm=EUW,application-id=ZGEFLEUQ,discussion-id=fQBqp9Aj,comment-id=,timestamp=2019-06-23T15:42:47.183+0000)

A simple keybinding or command won't fix my mental. that's the real problem here. I feel a sick anxiety before even queuing up for a game. something that shouldnt be associated with a video game. can anybody help me?

Spend a little bit of time working on this every day...try meditation it will do wonders for your mental game.

Eventually you'll learn to accept things you can't control like the performances of other players.

Luther King Jr V6/23/2019, 6:20:16 PM1 votes

31 perma bans wtf do u get permad every time u queue up for a game

thepowerlies6/23/2019, 8:09:29 PM1 votes

best way to reform is to stop playing this game lol

Iron Phantom6/24/2019, 12:35:12 AM1 votes

Wait... how the hell do you manage to get banned so much, I've owned this account since 2009 - 2010, and I've yet to get any form of penalty.

Telephone Booth6/25/2019, 5:08:12 AM1 votes

Yeah, play something less stressful to you. Do something you enjoy with your free time. Not something that gives you anxiety.

Nhika6/23/2019, 3:51:04 PM1 votes

[deleted]

KFCeytron6/25/2019, 5:43:59 AM1 votes

To be perfectly honest with you, this is something you should be discussing with your parents. "Just mute everyone," "recall more often," etc. isn't going to be useful advice when you're in a group project for school and someone in your group never does any work (there's always someone like that). You don't need League-specific advice; you need skills and strategies to help you cope with other people who may or may not meet your expectations, because everyone needs to deal with that throughout their life, at least occasionally.

Madjack016/23/2019, 4:09:44 PM1 votes

Hmm, sounds like it might help you to get a change of focus.

The goal is not to win. The goal is to play to the best of your abilities and improve. You get ganked a million times and your jungler/team doesn't do anything to take advantage of that? Well, your chances to win just plummeted, but that's fine. You 're not focussed on winning, you're focussed on personally doing the best with every situation. It's important that you can say that you tried to do everything right given the circumstances, even if that means not having much fun.

A lot of frustration comes from people trying to control everything. Your team sucks, they react toxic to every advice you give; it's hard not to feel a sense of helplessness. That's a feeling we all hate and try to avoid (sometimes through flaming or rationalizing it away).

You can alleviate that by shifting your focus away from winning (which is not entirely in your control) and towards what you can control: your gameplay.

Not that it's easy, but maybe this approach can help you in at least a little way.

BLACK REALM GOD6/23/2019, 4:24:56 PM1 votes

I noticed that your account is on the EUW servers. According to studies (and please correct me if I'm wrong) there seems to be a stigma in that area against males looking for counseling OR there's a lack of trained counselors in the area. The fact that you're prone to fits of rage could be related to puberty and hormonal imbalance. It could also be a sign of anger management issues. There's also the issue of EUW and the US having different cultures. Riot Games is a US based company and so the TOS and mindset for this game is primarily designed with US culture in mind I think (once again someone correct me if I'm wrong. I don't want to give false information). With that in mind it's possible that the "grow balls and fight back" mentality is just a part of your culture. If you want to change your behavior then the best advice that I can give you is...

Try to understand this.

Regardless of what lane you're in - your opponent is the person that gets assigned to the same lane as you. Your job is to perform better than your opponent. How you choose to do that is up to you.

The same goes for Jungler.

Now the question is - what does "perform better" mean? To put it in simplest terms you need to be earning more gold and XP than your opponent. How your team chooses to manage those two currencies is the only difference between winning and losing.

Let's put this into a scenario. You did not specify your lane. So I'm going to assume that you're a mid laner.

In mid lane your opponent is behind. You've traded really well and now your opponent has less HP than you. They're forced to sit at the back of the minion wave and can't farm gold. This player is duoing with jungle. They ask their jungle friend to come assist them. Because they're duoing the jungle friend feels an obligation to assist the mid lane player. Jungle takes his blue buff and comes mid.

What should you do?

  • At this point you should retreat.
  • ping for assistance if you THINK you can take the two champions together.
  • wait for confirmation that assistance is coming
  • wait for the jungle to initiate the engagement
  • follow up from a safe distance
  • back for items if you have the gold
  • return to lane
  • play from your side of the lane because jungler might be camping your lane
  • place a control ward nearby your lane that wont get destroyed to defend against the enemy junglers pathing

if your jungle decides that it's better for him to clear the jungle then try to understand that that is a valid tactic. If the jungler hasn't bought enough items or has already used his blue buff/red buff and doesn't have it going into the fight then it might be better for that jungle to continue to focus earning XP and gold in their side of the jungle. If your team knows where the enemy jungler is then your jungler knows which camps to take. Beyond that there are some champions like shyvanna and ivern that have to focus the jungle and they do it extremely well. In these instances it's very likely that the enemy jungler is losing his camps and is being forced into a lane. It's your job as the laner to continue to entice that jungler to come to your lane. If you can do that without dying then he will fall behind and be unable to contest epic monsters.

By reading into your complaint I have envisioned a scenario where you're playing as... AurelionSol and you're against a Veigar +Warwick

i imagine that your jungler is someone like... Udyr

at the beginning of the game even if your jungler chooses to ignore the 2v1 scenario that was created on the enemies team it's still your job as the mid laner to not die. If you're scared of getting dived then buy zhonyas, gargoyle stoneplate, warmogs, rylias, rod of ages, banshees veil, archangel staff, proto belt or glp-800, locket of the iron solari, zz rot, randuins omen, redemption, reverie, steraks gage, sunfire cape, thornmail etc. if you're fearful that you wont be able to run away then just buy something that will help you not die. builds need to be flexible.

One thing about Sol is that he's immobile. He doesn't have a dash, a flash, a blink, etc. So you need to build with that in mind. If an enemy can get on top of you then you're dead. And it's not the jungler's job to keep you alive.

The Ecdysiast6/23/2019, 4:25:12 PM1 votes

Two-step plan:

Step 1. At the start of the game, every game, type, /mute all. You will no longer see anything to respond to.

Step 2. Play jungle. You can't blame the jungler for your mistakes if you are the jungler.