I'm starting to turn into a toxic person. I don't like doing it but it's hard to control my nerves.

Âllon·3/19/2018, 5:53:19 AM·1 votes·424 views

Even with muting as an option, I get extremely upset when things go south during games and end up typing the things that's wrong in a not so constructive manner. It doesn't stop there as well; occasionally the enemy team thinks it's fine to trash talk my performance and my teammates when they win. So all breaks loose; i end up making bad threats even if i know i will end up getting reported.

But I do have regrets with what I type. I cannot control my nerves and emotions and I don't want to become toxic. How can I become a calmer person

8 Comments

Shukr4n3/19/2018, 5:55:41 AM2 votes

It all start by yourself, there s no magic trick. Start with muting all Or leave game for some day

Muten Shensei3/19/2018, 6:46:54 AM2 votes

I find that people who are toxic in game, are having a bad time irl. I suggest maybe try to fix irl problems, that way, you are a nice person in game? I could be wrong with your case tho, I just know this from experience from friends, myself, and others.

Kei1433/19/2018, 2:26:06 PM2 votes

first it comes from the mindset of "you can't win all games" and "it's just a game, relax and have fun with it".

rtbf2451455543/19/2018, 4:11:59 PM1 votes

If you really feel like you can't control yourself, if you can and can afford it get professional psychological help. Not everyone can but it can help, especially when you want help, and it sounds like you do.

If you can't (and I make no judgement, I could not when I needed it, and these days there's way more demand than shrinks, among many other valid reasons) then there are some tools you can use to wrestle yourself back from the brink. They are simple, but not easy. You're going to have to fight with yourself.

When you get that angry, remove yourself from the situation causing the anger. Lots of people are going to tell you that is the coward's way out, and a lot of other crap. They'll use psychological terms of art like "avoidance behavior" and such, and try to tell you that you need to shape up and not do the things. I'm here to tell you that they are full of it, and you shouldn't listen to them. Yes, there are plenty of things where avoidance doesn't help, but where you are, you're in a fight between you and yourself. When you put yourself in situations where you know you lose control when you are already feeling fragile, you might as well have drafted Teemo into an opposing Pantheon at top lane. Go play another game. Read a book. Wash the dishes. Give a pet some attention. Take a walk and watch the clouds. I know you want to play League and not do those other things. Recognize that you've lost the fight with yourself, and retreat before you snowball yourself and go toxic.
Whenever you start getting angry with someone else, ask yourself what you could have done better in that situation. Yes, lots of other people make mistakes, but you can't control them. Focus on what you did, and are doing. Did you pick the right champion, maybe pick someone else in a similar draft? Did you miss plays you could have made, or walked into traps because you were focused on things going wrong rather than what you were doing? You can control yourself, so try to learn from yourself. Look for plays to make so maybe it'll be easier to notice a similar situation later. Figure out what was the point where you lost your cool and be on the lookout. If you can't wrench your focus back on yourself, see point 1, get out.
When you are out, think about why you're getting angry. I don't mean "because that Rengar was an idiot". I mean why did that Rengar being an idiot enrage you so much? This is the hardest part to do on your own, but it's necessary and you can't avoid it if you actually want to get a handle on yourself. Look up meditation practice online. While Buddhist philosophy helped me in my dire straits, it doesn't have a monopoly on mediation and mindfulness by a long shot, despite what a lot of Buddhists may tell you. You may come to realize some pretty dark and painful things about yourself that have nothing to do with League, so again, ask for help from others when you need it. You may feel ashamed asking for help, but don't let it stop you. As the saying goes, no man is an island.

And good luck. I've been where you are. I often still am. Things aren't going to go how you wish they would, but that doesn't mean you can't get better at dealing with them.

Cinnawinsticks3/19/2018, 6:28:24 PM1 votes

Sounds like you need a break for a while.

As another poster said, sometimes the toxicity flows over from dissatisfaction IRL as well. I don't play League when I'm having a hard time IRL because of that. It's hard to enjoy a game that has gone poorly when you're already having a hard time. Take Bullfeather's advice and try to address if it is caused by something other than League, and from there you can start to police your own behavior in League.

LateCustomer3/19/2018, 6:50:44 PM1 votes

Don't put all your eggs in one basket- Don't let winning be the all consuming reason why you play. This is a sure fire way to tilt yourself. Instead, focus on little things you can do every game to improve. "This game, I will CS like crazy". "This game, I will protect my ADC like crazy". etc. These little things are sure to improve your chances of winning, and are lest tilting if something goes wrong.

Don't focus on others- You can't control your team mates. All you can do is keep focusing on yourself. Bad game, oh well, move on.

Do give the benefit of the doubt- Seriously. Sometimes your team mates are actually BETTER than you, but they just so happen to be going up against that Diamond smurf on their way up. It happens. I find that thinking my team mates drew the short straw makes it easier for me to play than thinking they're just bad. Sometimes hearing "Don't worry, fam, I got you" helps your team not tilt and focus, and then you win. Empathy, man. It helps.

Do use the /mute all- Sometimes people are just toxic. Mute them. Focus on your game. Move on.

Finally, if you find yourself starting to lose your cool, take a second to recompose. Next time you're at the fountain, take a few seconds, breath, tell yourself it's cool, find the next thing you need to do, and go do it. Giving yourself something to focus on other than negative thoughts helps you focus.

Good luck.

WALL O TEXT CRITS FOR 9999 Damage!

Telephone Booth3/20/2018, 4:28:59 AM1 votes

Hmm... maturity is supposed to kind of just come naturally with age so I guess... grow up faster??? Lol idk sorry I got nothin. Can't relate to video game rage. It's for fun dude, stop putting so much weight on winning. Maybe you spend too much time playing, so the balance of real life and video games becomes skewed. Now video games are taken more seriously because you spend as much time on them, as you do doing real life things.