Toxicity: I'm trying to be better
Awhile ago - probably Feb/Mar timeframe, I got chat restricted for toxicity. I deserved it with the horrible way I had typed in chat. It was a frustrating time - 2 weeks of 90% of games being auto-losses with nothing I could do to win a game in low/mid silver. I would generally be stuck 1v2 and unable to punish my lane opponent. My jungler would refuse to gank my lane even though we could win every 2v2 and snowball. My bot, mid, or jungle, or some combination thereof would feed about 6-10 kills in laning phase alone off repeating the same very bad plays over and over and over. I'd try telling them nicely to stop doing that or do (this) instead. I'd be positive, helpful in my advice (not "stop feeding you idiot"), and remind them of basic things they were forgetting but should know (like ward, don't 1 man invade when 3 enemies were spotted in the area you are trying to go into). After laning phase, I'd either be stuck trying to 1v3 under tower and get trade kills - begging my team to 4 man group and PRESSURE something while they have a 4v2, or I'd be grouped and trying to tank 3 fed enemies in a 5v5 fight - with half my team insta-dying to 2 abilities or running away at full hp without having done more than an auto attack. Teammates would still be refusing to ward 10 min after I said we need to be warding - it can't be just me or just me and the support warding. They'd be repeating the same poor engages that had put them so far behind in the first place - ones easily avoided and easily fixed. They'd intentionally repeatedly ignore obvious easy win conditions in favor of trying to look like they solo carried the team - and failing - screwing over the entire team in the process. And with game after game like that, with the SAME "mistakes" repeated 10+ times in one game by the same people, I could no longer contain myself. I'd get flamed for not teleporting into a losing dragon fight. I'd get flamed for dying cuz I forced a "bad" engage when I grouped and flash engaged a 5v3 onto an enemy carry and my team just sat back and did nothing to follow up. Everything was my fault and worse - I had been toxic all game; asking people to ward, asking bot to not force 2v3 engages vs their fed enemy bot lane, asking jungle not to 1v3 invade enemy jungle. So I RESPONDED to this toxicity directed at me and this intentional choosing to repeat obviously POOR plays TIME AFTER TIME AFTER TIME with toxicity of my own. I accept that my toxicity was not acceptable and was correctly punished. I do not accept though, that intentionally choosing time after time after time an obviously stupid play is OK. Intentional feeding is a report option, but no one ever gets punished for it. If someone goes 1/6/2 or something, I don't auto report them for inting. If they are correcting their mistakes and not REPEATING the same "mistake" time and time and time again, they are not inting. But what am I supposed to say if our obvious and easiest win condition is 4-1 splitpush and all the 4 man group has to do is NOT force a 4v5 fight and not get destroyed 4v4 but they can't even survive 4v4 defending a tower because they don't know how to position and because they fed too much by repeating the same mistake and ignoring helpful advice all game? When they value 10 cs and pressuring bot outer tower over defending mid inhib or contesting baron. And do the same selfish play like that all game. When I start off 3/0/1 and am using my lead to TRY to get them caught back up, but they always refuse to take the obvious good call for the team and look only for themselves. I mean after doing the same poor play for the 10th time and the previous 9 times it has only led to the enemy team getting fed, us losing objectives, and us dying why would it work differently this time? This is mid gold now - not low/mid silver and people are still doing the same selfish poor plays. If doing it for the 10th time in one game when there is an obvious easy-to-execute win condition that has been repeated 5 times over 15 min of gameplay that they could do instead, is that not intentionally throwing the game by doing the obviously bad play for the 10th time in a row? Is that not making an "idiot play"? I am trying to be positive. I TRY to be helpful with my comments. But seeing someone do the same damn selfish plays all game when they didn't work out the first 9 times and having shared an obviously much better option 9 times only to have it ignored 9 times is more than I can handle sometimes. And when it is 4 games in a row, I can't always help myself but tell someone they are being an idiot. I'm trying - I really am. I don't become toxic easily. But everyone has their limits. So sadly once again, I'm worried I will get a chat restriction or worse. While people who threw away a free win (casters/analysts seeing it if it were a pro game would have given our team 90% odds to win based on how the game had been going and how easy our win conditions were) from REPEATED intentional selfish plays that have high risk and minimal reward, who ignored their team and shotcalls get to walk free - ruining other people's games and tilting them. If I knew these people were getting their just punishment for intentionally throwing away the game (usually over a dozen instances in one game alone by a single player) it would be so much easier to hold my tongue from negative unhelpful comments when good shotcalls are ignored for the 10th time in a row in favor of an obviously horrible play.
