Boards›Player Behavior

got my friend permabannede - he blocked me on every media - did I do the right thing?

Yuumi or Dodge·6/19/2019, 8:52:24 PM·66 votes·22,473 views

okayy so, i met one of my very good friends through league in 2017, we bonded during a game when we were both newbies and had been friends since. until today...

I played a ranked game. I was playing ahri mid and he was playing master yi jungle. my ping was higher than usual, about 80 ms when i usually have 40 so it was harder for me to dodge zed's qs. so I got solo killed once. then i decided to forfeit cs and xp to help my botlane out getting them a double kill. I died again in lane because i got ganked, and both of these times my friend told me to stop inting.

now he was complaining in chat too. whining because our support Braum accidentally took 2 kills. he would also constantly blame me in chat, saying we were losing because i decided to play with lags (even though it wasn't so laggy, it just affected my skillshots and the ability to dodge them...) and just generally making me not wanna play anymore. he was very negative the whole game, he is often like this when the game is not going his way.

So after the game I decided to report him for Negative Attitude and Verbal abuse. That was yesterday.

Today he was permanently suspended, just 5 days after returning to the account after a 2 week suspension. I did not get an instant feedback report so I know it was not my report that triggered the ban. he had 1 other game in his logs that he was banned for. he claims he was just telling his top laner to stop trolling and that the rest was jibberish but i dont know what he said because he refused to send me the full chat logs.

my question is, Was i in the right here? I was very upset by what he said in game. he also insults me outside of game too, calling me things like overweight, e-girl trash, I get carried all the time and that's why my winrate is so good, and that no one would ever want to go out with me (even though i have a girlfriend myself...)

anyway that is all besides the point.

Should I have let him be and not reported him? I kind of ruined this friendship that lasted so long. if i had not reported him i think he wouldve gotten banned eventually anyway because of how toxic he is in his losing games..when he is winning he is nice but when losing he is just so toxic. I have seeked (suck? sook?) advice on reddit before for help with my awful mentality and mentioned my friend in this threads. almost everyone recommended that I delete him immediately.

my other good friend also kept telling me to delete him. that he is a kid and he can't get out of silver with his mentality.

i was already having some bad depression because of exams...but this just made it worse...can anyone at least reassure me that i did the right thing? cuz i really dont know what to think anymore

138 Comments

Umbral Regent6/19/2019, 8:59:21 PM76 votes

my question is, Was i in the right here? I was very upset by what he said in game.

Both from the standpoint of the rules and from a personal standpoint; yes. If he was being toxic and upsetting you through flame, underhanded remarks, etc., you were well within the right to report him. Him getting a permanent suspension just showed that he hadn't learned from his 14-day ban, and just got what was ultimately coming to him.

I kind of ruined this friendship that lasted so long.

Frankly, I think your friendship with him ended when he decided to call you "e-girl trash" amongst other things; he ain't much of a friend if he's ready to insult you and flame you like he did, both in and out of game.

can anyone at least reassure me that i did the right thing?

You did do the right thing, and I agree with your other good friend. If that guy was and still is toxic, then it's best to just cut him off; you're worth more than insults, and definitely don't need a "friend" like him to make you feel bad for no good reason.

Unker1396/19/2019, 9:01:35 PM35 votes

If he talks to you like that, inside or outside of the game, I would would not be eager to keep that friendship going. It will you more harm than good.

I think you did the right thing.

This Is Your Dad6/19/2019, 10:15:50 PM28 votes

Calling you overweight egirl trash? That's not a friend, that's an emotional leech. Find a new friend, someone positive. You deserve to get something out of your friendships. Be selfish. I'd rather have a selfish friend being my friend because they want to be around me than because they'd feel bad otherwise. There are too many people on the planet for you not to deserve your own level of happiness with people who don't take you for granted and treat you like crap.

Caitlyn FTW6/19/2019, 9:21:06 PM9 votes

[deleted]

Raven Redeemed6/20/2019, 1:46:33 AM8 votes

You were certainly right to report him. Not even considering the grief he put you through, he was making the game worse for random strangers and violated the code of conduct.

I’d be very hesitant to stop talking to him just because random people on the internet told you too. We don’t know and can’t really judge the relationship. My advice would be to stop talking with him or spend less time talking with him if he is verbally abusive. It is impossible to spend a lot of time with someone without them impacting you so spend time with good people (or at least some time). Also, if you want to continue being his friend, tell him what you think he’s doing wrong. It can be awkward to have such candid conversations, but he may be a bit blinded to his own wrong doings (perhaps his insults were intended to be more lighthearted smack talk without realizing that he was hurting people etc.) and/or may go out of his way to change or at least act more appropriately around you.

Febos6/19/2019, 9:03:46 PM6 votes

[{quoted}](name=Yuumi or Dodge,realm=EUW,application-id=ZGEFLEUQ,discussion-id=cRgyM3ax,comment-id=,timestamp=2019-06-19T20:52:24.865+0000)

Was i in the right here?

"Right" and "wrong" are subjective. If we ignore feelings, then reporting bad behaviour is the right thing to do, regardless of who it is. However, because you said he was your friend, maybe the better option would be to either:

  1. Tell him to stop doing that.
  2. Stop playing with him if he didn't.

You could still have a relationship outside of League, could you not?

[{quoted}](name=Yuumi or Dodge,realm=EUW,application-id=ZGEFLEUQ,discussion-id=cRgyM3ax,comment-id=,timestamp=2019-06-19T20:52:24.865+0000)

I was very upset by what he said in game. he also insults me outside of game too, calling me things like overweight, e-girl trash, I get carried all the time and that's why my winrate is so good, and that no one would ever want to go out with me

I don't have the authority to tell you whom you should be friends with or not, but, from experience, toxic friendships aren't a good thing. Banter is fine. I banter with my mates all the time. That doesn't look like banter, because you said you felt upset by it. You wouldn't be upset if it was all in good terms.

[{quoted}](name=Yuumi or Dodge,realm=EUW,application-id=ZGEFLEUQ,discussion-id=cRgyM3ax,comment-id=,timestamp=2019-06-19T20:52:24.865+0000)

mentioned my friend in this threads. almost everyone recommended that I delete him immediately.

Because we can look at your relationship from a non-bias point of view. Outsiders often have a better judgment in situations like this.

[{quoted}](name=Yuumi or Dodge,realm=EUW,application-id=ZGEFLEUQ,discussion-id=cRgyM3ax,comment-id=,timestamp=2019-06-19T20:52:24.865+0000)

can anyone at least reassure me that i did the right thing? cuz i really dont know what to think anymore

To me, you did the right thing. But I'm not you. I feel like you have unfinished business with that individual. You may not be able to move on until you resolve that.

My advice: tell him how he made you feel. After that, cut the relationship. Remind yourself that you're doing this for you, not for him.

Beldori6/20/2019, 1:12:59 AM5 votes

So there is a few answers to this thread.

  1. it takes many reports to get banned, yours was the final one needed is all which means anyone reporting him would have done it.

  2. For those defending the toxic friend, If you think he shouldn't be punished you are part of the problem, toxic behavior on that level bleeds into real life let alone into other games and no friendship is worth that kind of abuse regardless of the game, the guy got what he deserved for his behavior.

Agent Corgi6/19/2019, 9:41:26 PM5 votes

You did the right thing. Friends don't treat each other like that & if he's going to take it so far that he has to block you on social media Over a Video game, then he's no true friend at all. Don't let this minor bump in the road get you down. Things will eventually get better sometime down the line & if this guy actually cares, he'll come back & apologize.

ESeTyRC6/19/2019, 9:40:36 PM4 votes

? 80ms is "bad"? hahahah.... I guess I play every match with shitty af ping.

If your "friends" aren't a positive influence on your life.. well. I wouldn't sweat over what's been done.

Skýcrow6/20/2019, 2:03:12 AM4 votes

Your report doesn't matter that much, because he would have been banned regardless with that attitude... anyways! A friend that insults someone else in the way you described, is no friend at all. It's better that you aren't friends anymore with him, your other friend is correct with the delete part.

to me this sounds like he doesn't even think about how valuable real friends actually are, and i think he should get a taste from that. Maybe in the future he will understand how lonely life can get without having friends or less friends.

Broken Soul6/20/2019, 2:35:27 AM4 votes

I'd say you definitely did the right thing. I mean, in the League community, toxicity is a constant. It's better to cut out as much of it as you can so that way your playing experience won't be ruined. You said he was directly insulting you, both in game and out. That's not a healthy friendship at all. There's no excuses for that kind of behavior, even though I sometimes get tilted and blow my lid, too You were in the right, that's all there is to it. [slayer-jinx-wink]

Vaelkyrie6/20/2019, 3:37:15 AM4 votes

The only thing of value I can contribute is this: the past tense of the verb _to seek _is sought.

Kei1436/19/2019, 10:00:20 PM4 votes

Personally, if a person on my friendlist is toxic in chat, I'll unfriend them.

Little Songbird6/19/2019, 11:36:17 PM4 votes

Girl, that relationship was toxic. I am so glad its out. You are a beautiful and kind girl, dont let people bring you down like that.

You are making a more positive environment for yourself!

Goodluck with exams!

KFCeytron6/20/2019, 1:14:25 AM4 votes

[{quoted}](name=Yuumi or Dodge,realm=EUW,application-id=ZGEFLEUQ,discussion-id=cRgyM3ax,comment-id=,timestamp=2019-06-19T20:52:24.865+0000)

he also insults me outside of game too, calling me things like overweight, e-girl trash, I get carried all the time and that's why my winrate is so good, and that no one would ever want to go out with me (even though i have a girlfriend myself...)

i was already having some bad depression because of exams...but this just made it worse...

"We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn

Burn motherfucker

#BURN" –Bloodhound Gang

TL;DR: Good riddance to this non-friend.

John Westlin6/21/2019, 5:33:01 PM3 votes

His toxicity just proves that he is competitive. I think he should quit this game and you should move on because you did a right thing. I think he is upset and doesn’t control his emotions. Again if a game makes him that mad, he shouldn’t play at all. A team-based game is not that good for self-centered people.

Zardo6/19/2019, 10:33:46 PM3 votes

Honestly, good riddance. If he was toxic towards you he wasn't a good friend to begin with, you should look for new friends to play with who are nicer to you.

Larriet6/20/2019, 12:28:42 AM3 votes

got my friend permabanned

No, you didn't. He got himself banned.

If your friends are saying/doing things to you that are against the rules, they deserve to be punished. You did the right thing here.

I know some groups of friends like to troll or jokingly hurl insults at one another, and as long as its in good fun and you're not in a game with randoms on your team, that's cool! (If you're doing that, don't report your friends as a joke, btw...) But if you're not all down for that, or they're trolling a game you really want to win, or they really meant to insult you, then yes, they totally deserve it.

Just something from me personally: I've had friends who rage (out loud, not in chat), and friends who flame, and friends who get salty at their teammates, and none of them have ever directed that at me. Not excusing the ones who flamed others of course, but if he's saying those things to you, he clearly doesn't value your friendship. You're better off without. For his sake, I hope he can grow up a bit. And for your sake, I'm glad you have him out of your hair.

Ahri Baka6/20/2019, 1:03:58 AM3 votes

It's kinda sad I stopped duoing with such people I notice that they are even slightly toxic It's for me impossible to even duo with a very close friend , he is just too toxic and we fight every time we duo

Tuition Fee6/20/2019, 1:14:01 AM3 votes

  1. If a friend is bitching at you for a video game over factors you can't control, ditch them ASAP.

  2. You saved people from unpleasant games by reporting him. If game went unflagged, he might not have been punished until much later, assuming he didn't say a zero tolerance phrase.

  3. Sexism, body shaming and putting down someone else's confidence is never okay.

  4. I once had a friend who posted that he wanted to shoot someone on social media. Did I snitch? Yes. While snitches get bad reputations, sometimes you just gotta do it if someone is crossing a line.

Badriiyah6/20/2019, 2:04:51 AM3 votes

You did the right thing 100%, you are in the right. No one should act that childish (AND HE PLAYS YI) jokes aside, I always try to keep my games chill, but people like him who have been often banned, its probably just better for everyone to have him removed [slayer-pantheon-thumbs]

Your Demon6/20/2019, 3:17:21 AM3 votes

listen buddy , ur worth alot more than anyone credits you , anyone who calls you trash or garbage needs their brain checked out. Anyone i mean anyone who degrades you like this and then you continue to be with them is just a bad influence on you , and you will just ruin your mental health and attitude. i 100% think u did the right thing , im actually suprised u didnt do it sooner , dont stick up/with toxic/bad people and i really dont like people who say "even though he is toxic and rude he is nice to me". Hope you have a great day

DragonArt6/20/2019, 7:12:44 PM3 votes

A true friend don't do things like that.

** it is better to be alone than badly accompanied**

miightofdemacia6/21/2019, 4:01:03 PM3 votes

This is why I don't like playing league with people and don't add randoms personally. A lot of people get toxic or disappointed but they don't realize that you cannot win every game. Matchmaking is designed to make you lose eventually. The game is great but just naturally makes people toxic or frustrated

Edit: I think you did the right thing. It's probably better you don't play with that person anymore and if you still want to stay friends just don't play league together. And if you dont stay friends then that's fine too because your friend needs to respect you better i think.

Total Violation6/20/2019, 3:57:59 AM3 votes

First of all...

"he also insults me outside of game too, calling me things like overweight, e-girl trash"

He was not your friend.

Second, you did not "get him banned", since he had already been suspended before the permaban. His actions got him banned, you were just the last person to raise your hand and vote "yes" to his ban. Even without your report, the ban was inevitable.

My personal advice:

Be glad that this emotionally unstable person blocked you on all social media, and you should block him too. You do not need people like this in your life, let alone call them "friends".

Do a clean up on your real life friend list, anyone who behaves like this has no place in your life.

Pay close attention to how people act online, because in games like League, where people's identities are hidden behind a username and a champion, that's when people show their true colors, and feel most secure to act natural.

I guarantee that will now have a more pleasant League experience, and a more pleasant life.

LexCat6/20/2019, 6:49:59 AM3 votes

I still dont know how after all you have said here, you still call that trash your friend. Just delete that sucker from your life and find new people. I have friends I play with everyday and we have a lot of bad game when we all make mistakes and lose. We get mad and tilted, but never ever insult each others, or even report.

14daysuspensionk6/20/2019, 1:20:44 PM3 votes

Looks like he had probably been playing Yasuo

CarpeConundrum6/20/2019, 2:48:52 AM1 votes

did I do the right thing

No. No you did not. Friends can be forever. This game will eventually die and people will move on to another game. Dude... You're not that bright. League is temporary, friendship is eternal. Ein Folk, Ein Friendship, Ein... something not racist.

If you genuinely believed that what you did was the right thing to do, or if you had any confidence in your decision you wouldn't be here asking for a hug box to tell you everything will be alright and you're a good girl for what you did. I don't think you did the right thing and I don't think you suffered any "abuse" from this person, you should hear how guys talk to each other and banter over vidya. UwU Ur no git GF lulzor. Pfffffffffft.

R107 Games6/19/2019, 9:47:51 PM1 votes

Nope; that was a dick move.

You could've just asked him to stop being toxic and if he refused they you should've minded your business after that. Maybe you could've stopped being his friend. But getting his account banned which he spends money and time on is a dick move.

Hell even in irl if your friend is mean to you the sensible thing to do is ask them to stop and if they refuse you stop being friends. Not try to get them in trouble