Boards›Player Behavior

League taught me the value of Manners - Thank You Riot

Diamond Frostman··18 votes·2,710 views

Hi, my name is Diamond, I am 27 years old and from Great Britain.

My main account was DDWarbird1988 on EUW and I used to be a toxic f**k. I formally apolgise to the league community for my racist and downright insulting comments. I am very quick to anger because I have a form of autism and living with that can make me angry when I fail or lose something because I feel very exposed and embarassed. I am dyspraxic, which is a coordination difficulty which sometimes causes me to thumb my plays and accidentally die, which causes my team to be very unforgiving, its one of the main reason I play long range poke mages because thats the only thing I'm good at.

That is by NO means an excuse, just an explanation.

I can't play melee or assassin champs for shit. So I hate on people who can do it so easily and I shouldn't. I see that now.

Personally, I am very happy that Riot has become intolorant of unacceptable behavior and banned my main and a few of my accounts. Although my rage is still not completely under my control but I am a hell of a lot better now then I was. I lost my best friend because of this game and I didn't stop to think how he was feeling before I made some spiteful comment just after his mother died in a game. So I deserved him running away from me.

I missed him a lot but I continued on this game because I wanted to be a better person. I want to be able to take loss and just shrug it off like most people do. I just wanted to make Riot aware that I genuinally felt my behavior in the past has been rude, racist and unacceptable. When I am angry, I say things that I don't mean and I don't actually believe that people from Europe is inferior.

AA says that admitting you have a problem is the first step towards change. I admit I have a problem with rage and self-loathing and being toxic but I am slowly but surely changing that. I have a new account, got all the way up to level 20, started by muting everyone and I'm slowly getting back to letting my chat stay open again.

Sorry, I know nobody will care but I just want to make Riot know that I respect them immensely and your game has taught me some precious life lessons and the significance of friendship and trust.

19 Comments

RiotRiot Kid Ronnie17 votes

Wow. Thanks for your hard work in acknowledging and changing your behavior -- I know it isn't easy. I've sat here for nearly ten minutes trying to think of a way to properly express my gratitude for your honesty and openness, but nothing I type seems to sum it up quite right. I almost deleted my post when I couldn't think of anything better to say, but I really want you to know that I care, and that some days, stories like yours are what keeps me going. So, thank you for sharing, and for working to make yourself a more positive influence in the community. We really do appreciate it, from the bottom of our hearts. :) Fistbump

Diamond Frostman2 votes

[{quoted}](name=Riot Kid Ronnie,realm=NA,application-id=ZGEFLEUQ,discussion-id=axqQTFVX,comment-id=0005,timestamp=2016-02-05T20:05:10.876+0000)

Wow. Thanks for your hard work in acknowledging and changing your behavior -- I know it isn't easy. I've sat here for nearly ten minutes trying to think of a way to properly express my gratitude for your honesty and openness, but nothing I type seems to sum it up quite right. I almost deleted my post when I couldn't think of anything better to say, but I really want you to know that I care, and that some days, stories like yours are what keeps me going. So, thank you for sharing, and for working to make yourself a more positive influence in the community. We really do appreciate it, from the bottom of our hearts. :) Fistbump

Fist bump... Wow... my first dev post. I am really honored and thank you for your kind words.

Battalion2 votes

Here's my own, lowly, non-red fistbump .

You really messed up and then you made steps to fix it. I can't tell you how many friends I've seen leave each other for this stupid game. I love it, but I feel like it tears away friendships for some people. That's how competitive things work at their base. Keep it up man, if this game could ruin a bit of your life, then by the same logic it can make you a better person. After all, everyone playing (for the most part) is a human being that you're directly effecting.

I'm not psychiatrist but I know people, try talking to your friend with as much sincerity as this post, I think you'd have a good chance of getting him back, or at least getting his forgiveness.

Whatever you do, at least you know you've got people who think what you're heading in a good direction.

I'll leave this quote here for you.

"Life is very interesting... in the end, some of your greatest pains, become your greatest strengths."

Void Nargacuga4 votes

http://cdn.theatlantic.com/static/mt/assets/science/theatermove.gif

Its great to see that your are seeing what you were like before was not liked and are doing your best to improve yourself! Of course it will probably take some time though but keep at it! [slayer-pantheon-thumbs]

Omega T33mo3 votes

nice mayne. My main account got perm'd a while back to and ive been a lot less toxic since then

LadyParallel3 votes

Given ur history in both EUW and NA boards of lying constantly, xenophobic comments and hatred towards players, riot, champions and random people aka foreigners as u call them, excuse me if I'm a little skeptical of this sudden change when just an hour ago you were still attacking riot or as u once called them: "American pigs"

Diamond Frostman1 votes

{quoted}

Given ur history in both EUW and NA boards of lying constantly, xenophobic comments and hatred towards players, riot, champions and random people aka foreigners as u call them, excuse me if I'm a little skeptical of this sudden change when just an hour ago you were still attacking riot or as u once called them: "American pigs"

Why do you stalk me, if you have nothing nice to say, please go away. People like you irritate me, concentrate on your own life and stop butting into mine. I may attack Riot in my other posts however, I never said that I hated PLAYERS of Yasuo/Zed/Lee Sin. You spent the entire time defending these champs (probably because you are biased and you main them or other ADC champs). I am trying to be honest, so if you can't be nice... kindly piss off.

No offense but most Americans I have met have been arrogant pigs and it sets a bad example. I never said they were ALL pigs, just the ones that I have met in the past.

LadyParallel1 votes

You never said "just the ones that I have met in the past." And no I don't main those champs. I do have nice things to say u just dont agree to them. But in most posts u are extremely negative so u don't give me a choice. And yes u did say u hated all those things in many posts in fact. U are lying again. And u shall continue to. I don't mind I find this quite amusing.^^

Diamond Frostman1 votes

{quoted}

You never said "just the ones that I have met in the past." And no I don't main those champs. I do have nice things to say u just dont agree to them. But in most posts u are extremely negative so u don't give me a choice. And yes u did say u hated all those things in many posts in fact. U are lying again. And u shall continue to. I don't mind I find this quite amusing.^^

You may find it amusing and I have said things in the past that I do not remember so yeah, thats fine. You wanna bash me, thats alright but I was being genuine when I said I am going through a casual changing process and if you cannot accept that miss Parallel then that is your problem. I have tried before and failed but it feels different this time. I am by no means perfect and I never will be but at least I'm willing to try and understand.

There are lots of things you've said that I disagree with but that your opinion and I will not slate you for your opinion. I respect it, I just do not agree with it and I wish you all the very best in life because its probably more then I deserve. I lost a lot in my life because I could not control my own narcassim and it destroyed my life. You wanna call me a liar, thats fine. I am doing this for myself, not to please you, whoever you are.

LadyParallel1 votes

I said I was skeptical. I keep a close eye on all boards not just u. I dont follow u in particular. Just today nothing more interesting was around. So I guess ill be around to see if wat u Say is true. I doubt it but whatever. GL with that.

nerak232 votes

Sorry, I know nobody will care but I just want to make Riot know that I respect them immensely and your game has taught me some precious life lessons and the significance of friendship and trust.

Actually I care as corny as that sounds ! I feel posts like these are very important and I appreciate you putting this out here.

I wish I had some hints to help you on your way to stay in this state of mind, but I just can't think of much more then what you have learned for yourself.

Truly, Good Luck friend.

Surgespace2 votes

I'm glad you're making this realization on your own but it should be your parents that taught you those things and simple common courtesy that is necessary for real life.

Xenophobic, racists, bigoted comments are a new level of toxicity rather than "you're bad" toxicity.

It's a show of a real life issue through a screen. I'm glad you're learning but I suggest actually learning the history and perhaps read up on the history of nations and people and you will find out. We're all just human and segregation is only in place to maintain capitalism and monetary gains for Countries. So they implement a strong right wing stance for nationalism preservation.

Diamond Frostman4 votes

{quoted}

I'm glad you're making this realization on your own but it should be your parents that taught you those things and simple common courtesy that is necessary for real life.

Xenophobic, racists, bigoted comments are a new level of toxicity rather than "you're bad" toxicity.

It's a show of a real life issue through a screen. I'm glad you're learning but I suggest actually learning the history and perhaps read up on the history of nations and people and you will find out. We're all just human and segregation is only in place to maintain capitalism and monetary gains for Countries. So they implement a strong right wing stance for nationalism preservation.

Actually I majored in History at school, I am aware of the development of most cultures, including the;

  • American War of Independence
  • The Civil Rights Movement
  • Slavery and the East India Trading Company
  • The Emancipation of the Serfs in Russia
  • World War I and II
  • The Vietnam War
  • The Korean War
  • The Bay of Pigs and the Cuban Missile Crisis
  • Classic History (Ancient Greece, Rome and Egypt)
  • Apathide in South Africa
  • Victorian Britain and the Womans Sufferage of the early 20th Century etc...

The sad thing is I am well read. Its just when I get angry a bunch of racist shit comes out my mouth because its the most hurtful thing I can think of. Its wrong, I know but I am not fearful or xenophobic of other cultures. Its fucking crazy of me.

Surgespace3 votes

I feel you man, best of luck.

I think you can do it obviously you're already making great progress. I don't for see you being someone that shouldn't be in this community

Diamond Frostman2 votes

{quoted}

I feel you man, best of luck.

I think you can do it obviously you're already making great progress. I don't for see you being someone that shouldn't be in this community

Thank you, I was lucky to have a good school that taught me things like "eye contact" which people with Asperger's usually lack. I must admit, growing up, I resented the diagnosis becasue people naturally assume that people with Asperger's were good with maths and I wasn't so I felt like a failure (because I did not fit the mold of what Asperger's should be, I am mildly autistic so I have the understanding to know that I will never be considered "normal" in society), so when people can do things that I cannot, I naturally get defensive and rude.

The sad thing is, people like me go completely unnoticed, nobody on the game will know that I have a disability and will naturally assume I am an asshole when its a defensive measure that has built up over a number of years from my own feelings of inadaquecy.

I am in a long term relationship and my boyfriend lives with me. I almost split with him last night because I am determined that he is above me and I don't deserve him because I do generally feel that way. I know I'm not a "Diamond" player and I never will be because I do not have the coordination skills.

Surgespace2 votes

I don't think anyone is truly inadequate. Everyone is different, we each have our own flaws and strengths. As we can see here, you have a great sense of knowing who you are and where you excel and want to improve which is a huge positive.

I've been toxic before, although my toxicity is more along the lines of "you're really bad" rather than anything personal, but I see where you're coming from I've been there.

Never think you don't deserve what you feel what is best for you, Of course you deserve him, I'm sure you guys are really great together.

I think you can make Diamond, it just takes a long time and really grinding. Something that's difficult for anyone of us! Not just for you, you have a really good grasp of 'live and learn' which translates into improvement in any course of life, including video games.

For me, I'm very curt and stubborn, I tend to get heated in arguments with a staunch view on an opinion but once proven wrong I always accept defeat gracefully.

Diamond Frostman1 votes

Thank you guys, It is lovely to see some support and some positivity on the boards. I still hate LeeSin though, but at least now I hate the champion, not the player. I never want to be like XJ9.

Straw Hat Loki1 votes

Best of luck to you mate. I hope you get to the stage where you will have a more complete control over your triggers and will be able to shrug off things which annoy/anger you.

Acknowledging you have an issue and then resolving it is a great beginning and you know what they say about beginnings: "Well begun is already half done!"

[slayer-pantheon-thumbs]

Diamond Frostman1 votes

Oh I forgot to mention, that my name is Diamond, NOT because of League and not because I want that rank but its my Fursona name that I have used for every account on every game I've ever had. I originally used the name long before I actually knew that League existed. I apologise if that could seem confusing or if I'm overestimating my ability. Thank you to everyone who has given positive words of encouragement, I have really appreciated it.

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