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Mental Health and Open Toxicity

Muted Observer·4/19/2018, 11:36:01 PM·2 votes·2,961 views

I have a very important question for the community as a whole is it more healthy for you as a player to

A. Keep all your frustration and discontent bottled up and not show any toxicity to the cause/causes of the stress and struggle on B. Openly express your emotions in a non-aggressive non-insulting manner but still risk people being told such things as reporting you for being toxic.

Allow me to clear this up. I am not asking what is better for the community, or for the game, I am genuinely interested in the physical ramifications of a non-toxic playstyle on the individual players health and well being. I am not encouraging the derogatory comments or the use of flame to excuse one's own anger and frustration at their level of skill or teammates but I am questioning what the actual impact is on the player which might more commonly be known as tilting, is if they do not openly discuss their issues with a given player, game, or situation.

Please, Please, do not respond with "It's just a game stop caring" or "It's never okay to be toxic" That is not the point of this discussion I am more interested in finding out if league is physically hurting its playerbase with it's draconian level of anti toxicity while aggressive player behavior toxicity is unchecked, uncared, and unrestricted.

If you have something intelligent to contribute please do so otherwise just use the poll

35 Comments

HalcyonDweller4/19/2018, 11:43:17 PM6 votes

I think you're looking at this all wrong. Getting frustrated is normal, and bottling things up inside is generally not good for you, but the alternative is potentially worse for you. If you escalate a situation because you let rip, you're going to come out of it feeling worse than if you had just bottled it up.

But again, that's the wrong way to look at it. You don't have to let things get to the point where there is this dichotomy of either expressing or bottling up frustration. If you start matches off by being nice to teammates and giving them emotional support when things go badly for them, they are going to be a lot less likely to harass you or do things to frustrate you.

League is a team game and that means that you need to get your teammates to work together if you want the best chance of winning. So earning their respect by being kind and by complimenting good plays and giving condolences when plays go badly, you will be able to win their loyalty so that they listen when you need to give them advice like, "if you ward river you will be able to see the next gank coming and avoid it." Or, "if you stay behind the tank next fight you might be able to get more of your damage off without being attacked."

Also it helps to use future tense whenever talking to people about a play. If something happened and it went badly, talking in the past tense will just make them think you're blaming them, which will escalate things even if you didn't intend it to. Instead focus on the future by talking about what can be done next time to hopefully avoid the problems that just happened.

Anyway those are my thoughts off the top of my head for now. Let me know if you want to discuss this further it's an interesting subject.

Silent Gravity4/20/2018, 12:30:40 AM4 votes

Everything is practice.

Everything is building the habits of the person you're becoming.

If, when confronted with something frustrating, you break out in anger. You're training yourself to break out in anger more fiercely and at less provocation.

If, when you're confronted by the same situation, you control your responses, then you're training yourself to be controlled in the future in the face of even more provocation.

I am very specifically NOT saying that you should never express your emotions, or that the correct action in any frustrating situation is inaction. But, in the situations where action is required, having clouded thinking and mindlessly reacting will often produce unproductive action.

You can say to yourself, "I am angry" or "I am afraid" and because of that I am going to take this or that specific action. Deciding your own actions in response to a set of stimuli is a very powerful thing.

League can be very frustrating. Anything you focus time and attention on can be frustrating. Making little carvings can be frustrating when you make a mistake or someone accidentally sets a large book on an almost finished piece. Parenting is frustrating.

Choosing a response that creates the best outcome for yourself, the person you're interacting with, your team, and the environment of the game as a whole is a goal that sounds good to me. Choosing a different response sounds sub-optimal.

A long time ago, someone told me to "do everything on purpose". I have yet to come across a situation where that wasn't a good idea.

When you're feeling frustrated, I suggest expressing that emotion to someone important to you. Anything that is important to you and you care about is worth discussing with those you love. While my father was still alive we discussed everything. Choose wise people to share with. They can help you learn how to interact with your emotions.

YOU SO BAD4/20/2018, 7:01:25 AM3 votes

If your getting so upset that you need to verbally abuse people over a game then you have serious issues and need to seek professional care.

Its that simple. Getting frustrated is human sure no big deal. its more about how you deal with that frustration, But when you feel the need to spew negativity at other people for any reason cuz your feeling down upset sad mad whatever then you have issues and need to get help.

The real issue here is not weather bottling it up or letting it out is better or worse for someone.

The real issue is why do so many people not have the basic tools to help them handle emotions that they dont like.

Kyaza4/21/2018, 12:00:57 AM1 votes

For me, I prefer to keep it all bottled up, but thats more to do with me wanting to give everyone a chance, even if they get off to a bad start

Muted Observer4/21/2018, 7:05:14 AM1 votes

The downvotes this topic has received has been eye-opening, nobody wants to actually deal with toxicity in this community. Banning doesn't work because they just make new accounts. If people realized that ignoring the abuse you have to endure is not healthy maybe this community can start to improve and repair itself not by becoming completely and outwardly toxic but by understanding that when you say those things that you think are harmless to make yourself feel better you are actually physically hurting another human being even if you don't know it or can't perceive it. The things we say to one another in the heat of combat leave lasting physical impressions on us and most of us laugh it off or try to ignore it, but, it is impossible to completely block out the effect it has on you. For some it might be immediate for others it might be gradual but everyone, eventually, reaches the point where the toxicity of this game will start to hurt you. I hope no one ever has to suffer stress from a video game as that is the complete opposite reason they exist in my opinion. When dealing with people we need to stop thinking of them as characters and champs because flaming that inting ashe is easy but looking another human in the eye and saying "You're a worthless piece of garbage I hope you die" Is a lot harder than typing it on a keyboard.

Thee Pie Man4/21/2018, 9:04:05 PM1 votes

I'd recommend distancing yourself from the situation and seeing how much happier you probably are. If what you're saying is true about anyone, they should probably not be playing this game be exposing themselves to the stressors that create that kind of mental level of frustration/anger. I'm not trying to devalue your feelings, I'm trying to protect them. There's a lot of mean people on the Internet in general, because anonymity creates a barrier for a lot of people that makes them feel protected when being very rude.

I wouldn't say toxic behavior is unchecked- as much as just there's no system in place to catch it proactively. Aside from getting reported, there's not much else that can be done about them. Muting them is a bandaid so you can remove yourself from the situation in general, unfortunately that doesn't stop you from the initial blast of toxicity. Do you find that the enemy team makes you feel like this more, or the ones on your side? If it's the former I'd suggest disabling crosschat, it can help a great deal. If it's your own team that you seem to run into trouble with often then /mute all might be a good option. Both of these things are "proactive" in the sense that they prevent this kind of frustration from even appearing towards you which might enhance your experience a great deal.

I know it's not the best solution, but other than what HalcyonDweller said, this is all I can offer as advice if you really feel like that.

A Pretty Unicorn4/20/2018, 2:58:16 AM1 votes

If someone feels their inability to be toxic is causing any sort of health problems, they should seek help.

I suffer from clinical depression and GAD (severe enough that I need medication to help me manage), I know struggling through mental illness is hard, but it simply doesn't excuse breaking the rules.

fatherdarius4/20/2018, 12:23:36 PM1 votes

I wish you'd added an option C: Don't allow the game (an external stimulus) to influence your inner subjective experience. By simply not becoming emotional and staying Zen, you avoid the need for both A and B.

There's no anger to 'control' or 'bottle up' if you simply don't get angry.

Alternately, be like Doctor Banner. ALWAYS be angry. :D