Lilin's sexual harassment thread - puke worthy responses

TruckFump2016·Jan 26, 2016·6 votes·3,424 views

The Great and Assembled wisdom of the NA Boards.

If you have added someone to your friends list, you are responsible for anything they say to you, and they can (and will) say anything, which then becomes your fault, because you added them to your friends list. If you didn't want to be propositioned or asked sexual questions, you would not have added them to your friends list.
Sexual harassment only exists in the workplace or a social setting (because interacting with people on the internet is not social)
Woman do not deserve any sort of respect or special consideration. It is just as hard to be a guy online as be a girl (LOLWUT)
If girls don't want to receive sexual messages, they should hide the fact that they are a girl. (YES! Stop shooting your estrogen at everyone)
Asking to "see tits in a non-threatening way" is not, by nature, threatening or has the ability to cause any sort of mental or emotional distress. (You would have no problem with people making these kind of comments to your little sister. It is non-threatening chat)

Thank you board users for opening my mind about your great and profound wisdom.

Sad state of affairs when a girl just wants to go online without being harassed, propositioned, or sexualized and gets a bunch of blowback and crap for saying so.

78 Comments

LF AnnieJan 26, 201610 votes

this guy acts like he understands anything.

the Post in question was posted by someone who recieved a single message from person on her contct list sking the question "do you msterbte?"
she immeditely bnned sid plyer.
she then jumped to the conclusion of wht he MIGHT HVE SAID.
THEN she asked for report system so riot can track players because she feels they are sexual offenders.
Finally, she posted multiple times the definition of sexual harassment,

[{quoted}](name=Lilin Cat,realm=NA,application-id=ZGEFLEUQ,discussion-id=wPoWeegf,comment-id=00020000000100000000000000000000,timestamp=2016-01-24T00:47:41.307+0000)

sex·u·al ha·rass·ment noun harassment (typically of a woman) in a workplace, or other professional or social situation, involving the making of unwanted sexual advances or obscene remarks.

LF AnnieJan 26, 20161 votes

keyboard dying.

CatastropJan 26, 20161 votes

I know the feel. My "a" and "o" button died on my old keyboard a few weeks back. Made for some cringeworthy chat.

TruckFump2016Jan 26, 20162 votes

[{quoted}](name=LF Annie,realm=NA,application-id=ZGEFLEUQ,discussion-id=VoU6acX5,comment-id=0005,timestamp=2016-01-26T03:28:39.546+0000)

the Post in question was posted by someone who recieved a single message from person on her contct list sking the question "do you msterbte?"

Which you said was her fault for adding him to her friends list. lawl.

she immeditely bnned sid plyer.

she then jumped to the conclusion of wht he MIGHT HVE SAID.

THEN she asked for report system so riot can track players because she feels they are sexual offenders.

Finally, she posted multiple times the definition of sexual harassment,

She posted that definition because you and other people (with the classic quotable "non-threatening request to show tits") were like "nah man it's just a question, a normal part of chat".

People who are creepy/pervy to girls onlne should get recorded and warned. Just because it happens doesn't mean its ok. End of story.

Are girls treated the way they should be online? No. Girls are ridiculed, threatened, propositioned, oversexualized, and any and all other manner of shitty treatment the second people realize they are girls.

And you and other people are like "yea man just block them and they dont deserve any kind of punishment or warning"

FrankerXJan 26, 20163 votes

i mean sure. you should respect everyone online and irl. but lets be real. did you ever watch the riotgames chat during lcs? so many ppl should be recorded and warned. stuff like "ANELE (the taliban emote or whatever it is) french ppl deserved that explosion!" thats not cool. but a lot of ppl spam this shit. recording and warning them all would take forever.

TruckFump2016Jan 26, 20161 votes

{quoted}

i mean sure. you should respect everyone online and irl. but lets be real. did you ever watch the riotgames chat during lcs? so many ppl should be recorded and warned. stuff like "ANELE (the taliban emote or whatever it is) french ppl deserved that explosion!" thats not cool. but a lot of ppl spam this shit. recording and warning them all would take forever.

But that's twitch chat. That's the mother of all crapspam.

It's something different in a 1 on 1 convo.

FrankerXJan 26, 20163 votes

i dont see how many make it "okay" what 1 on 1 is "Not okay". either look at both the same, or dont say your opinion at all.

LF AnnieJan 26, 20161 votes

that you also forgot to mention half of the comments you brought up were not against the OP, but against a player that had JUST BEEN PERMA BANNED for toxicity and was trolling.

TruckFump2016Jan 26, 20161 votes

lmao wut

LF AnnieJan 26, 20161 votes

chaotic sage was recently perma banned for toxicity, and egged on the conversation for 2 days before it died.

WeatheredJan 26, 20166 votes

Yes
Um, I guess
Ya thats not true... and I'm a guy.
Yes but not said very well.
Are you trying to say that if someone says "do I mind if I see your tits?" its not threatening? Would you go up to someone in real life and do that? Probably not, because you'd get smacked in the face.

I don't agree with Lilan's post, but the way you made yours doesn't do that much for trying to back the other side. Girls get a lot more shit online because its anonymous, and therefore people can be a perv and no one knows who they are. Being a perv to a guy is different, cause the guy can just say something vulgar and block him/her. End of story. People will hunt down girls though, because guys get hella thirsty. I'm not saying you have to address girls as "m'lady" and go out of your way to help them, but you should at least have a little more respect when it comes to talking and have the decency not to ask for nudes or something from anyone, guy or girl :/

warpenguin555Jan 26, 20165 votes

didnt read. dont care https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IOFFFdKk2S4

Deep Terror NamiJan 26, 20163 votes

I think we're being trawlled.

LF AnnieJan 26, 20163 votes

i think he's downvote farming.

McprowlingtonJan 26, 20165 votes

Can we just let this die?

Or maybe we can turn this into a thread about if and how we masturbate, since that's the question she was so incredibly offended by and so positive that if a male was asked that there'd be an uproar.

TruckFump2016Jan 26, 20161 votes

{quoted}

Can we just let this die?

Or maybe we can turn this into a thread about if and how we masturbate, since that's the question she was so incredibly offended by and so positive that if a male was asked that there'd be an uproar.

Just because she made one stupid comment doesn't invalidate her point. lol

McprowlingtonJan 26, 20164 votes

invalidate her point

she had a valid point?

TruckFump2016Jan 26, 20161 votes

{quoted}

she had a valid point?

That girls should not be sexualized and treated like shit online. Yea. It's valid.

McprowlingtonJan 26, 20164 votes

Oh please, some kid asked a question he probably didn't even realize could be misconstrued as sexual harassment and her response is to come to the forums and tell riot that he should be insta-banned.

Thank god we don't take people like this seriously.

SarutobiJan 26, 20164 votes

Not trying to sound rude but why do people think League of Legends is the only problem with this? This has been happening for years. This is no different than any other online game. And while its not right for anyone to be treated like this, you can take step to prevent this. First off no one should be adding people on their friends list if you dont even know them. Thats just common sense. One thing i really dislike about this post is how it seems to only pertain to females, when majority of the time ive been playing games they usually get praised, or helped out more. Whereas if a Male is seen playing a game he is called all kinds of derogatory terms especially when they are playing badly. Harassment happens to everyone, doesnt matter the gender, ages, nationality of the person. You want to stop harassment? Just dont acknowledge these people. If someone is harassing you report them, take screenshots, and make sure when you report that you leave detailed information about it or when you contact support. If people on your friends list are doing this delete them.

Awkward CouchJan 26, 20161 votes

https://media.giphy.com/media/AeWoyE3ZT90YM/giphy.gif

Sniper 0Jan 26, 20163 votes

It's kinda like saying "If she didn't wanna be raped, she shouldn't have dressed like that".... [zombie-brand-facepalm]

JorenciceJan 26, 20162 votes

I mean that's true.

I don't go to a ghetto with a Ferrari park it and turn my back on a group of guys.

That would be stupid.

If I did that my chances of getting robbed would be SIGNIFICANTLY higher than if I didnt...

Preventive measures can and should be taken.

I've seen story's of dumbass girls who went to a park...alone...at 2am...to study...

She died.

It was a stupid and HIGHLY PREVENTABLE death.

LadyLike xoJan 26, 20163 votes

I am a girl and personally who cares what people say to you online? It's meaningless and the Block feature is there for a reason. I mean It is like getting mad over curse words when riot has a chat filter that is automatically selected and up to you, the user, to uncheck it. I don't respond to people I don't want to talk to. I really wish some people will just grow up instead of calling out "sexual" harassment. Personally I think that is something that only applies to real life. On the internet you have the option to block people.

PIMPSMOOTHJan 26, 20162 votes

[{quoted}](name=LadyLike xo,realm=NA,application-id=ZGEFLEUQ,discussion-id=VoU6acX5,comment-id=000400010000,timestamp=2016-01-26T06:28:06.211+0000)

I am a girl and personally who cares what people say to you online? It's meaningless and the Block feature is there for a reason. I mean It is like getting mad over curse words when riot has a chat filter that is automatically selected and up to you, the user, to uncheck it. I don't respond to people I don't want to talk to. I really wish some people will just grow up instead of calling out "sexual" harassment. Personally I think that is something that only applies to real life. On the internet you have the option to block people.

http://mrwgifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/The-Rock-Clapping-Reaction-Gif.gif

Straw Hat LokiJan 26, 20161 votes

I think this might have been this girl's first time experiencing something like this OR she is still too young to have learnt how to brush these off and not let them bother her. Being extremely young, she has next to no experience or maturity yet (say perhaps you would) to deal with this.

You are on the right page and know how to get about the internet but she isn't; I'm sure she will have learnt a lot after posting here.

Sexual harassment happens online as well but is easy to address and prevent here. I am sure most, if not all, girls would not label what happened as sexual harassment but as inappropriate behavior. You can't control what messages will be sent your way but you can shut them out. Don't add strangers etc.

LF AnnieJan 26, 20162 votes

she claimed to be either 23, or 24 with a college degree, and 2 jobs.

and sexual harassment shouldn't happen on league, because league is anonymous unless you identify yourself. would you expect a famous person to blame other people, if he/she is harassed for revealing his/her identity as a celebrity?

Straw Hat LokiJan 26, 20161 votes

I was under the impression this was about an early teens girl based off of the original post.

I think given her age she should definitely be mature enough to not blow this up as such.

I do think it is 100% correct to say anonymity is the best policy here. Of course, ideally, you should not have to worry about facing such behavior if you reveal your gender or ethnicity or sexuality but this is the internet. Anonymity is your best friend here to shut out these things rather than placing yourself at others' mercy and then getting upset about an unwanted/inappropriate behavior; totally agree.

LF AnnieJan 26, 20162 votes

i cant remember the last time we lived in a ideal world.

Straw Hat LokiJan 26, 20161 votes

Yup. We don't. Which is why I think these original players who posted this should have not pushed this as something larger than what it really was.

JorenciceJan 26, 20162 votes

{quoted}

The Great and Assembled wisdom of the NA Boards.

If you have added someone to your friends list, you are responsible for anything they say to you, and they can (and will) say anything, which then becomes your fault, because you added them to your friends list. If you didn't want to be propositioned or asked sexual questions, you would not have added them to your friends list.

Sexual harassment only exists in the workplace or a social setting (because interacting with people on the internet is not social)

Woman do not deserve any sort of respect or special consideration. It is just as hard to be a guy online as be a girl (LOLWUT)

If girls don't want to receive sexual messages, they should hide the fact that they are a girl. (YES! Stop shooting your estrogen at everyone)

Asking to "see tits in a non-threatening way" is not, by nature, threatening or has the ability to cause any sort of mental or emotional distress. (You would have no problem with people making these kind of comments to your little sister. It is non-threatening chat)

Thank you board users for opening my mind about your great and profound wisdom.

Sad state of affairs when a girl just wants to go online without being harassed, propositioned, or sexualized and gets a bunch of blowback and crap for saying so.

For number 5.

If my sister is over the age of 18. Sure proposition her all you want.

Ranger AzerethJan 26, 20162 votes

Yeah, it's your responsibility to some extent. Person asking is a jerk but you can have the same interaction in a circle of friends. 2.No 3.Women deserve respect just as much as anyone else, but not any more than anyone else either. 4.You shouldn't have to hide that. 5.I wouldn't consider it threatening, but it is crash as all hell to pull out of the blue on anyone and the person should be ashamed of themselves for behaving in such a way. If I had a sister and they said it I'd be "Seriously, you told them off and then ignored them right?" I wouldn't go and confront them unless it then happened again. That's when I would consider it threatening.

DREADN0UGHTJan 26, 20162 votes

I don't why you are making a big story with all of this. This is the god damn internet. People don't have filters. You have the option to mute them. You can report them. What are you expecting? For the whole online society to magically become politically correct? Jesus, are you that dumb?

I understanding it can be frustrating, but everyone gets offended on the internet. EVERYONE has that one thing they hate seeing. See I'm a french-canadian. I get called all sorts of things when I mention that to some Canadians. And that is fine, i just ignore it.

Not everybody is on the same level. Get the fuck over it. Its not that hard.

TruckFump2016Jan 26, 20162 votes

{quoted}

I don't why you are making a big story with all of this. This is the god damn internet. People don't have filters. You have the option to mute them. You can report them. What are you expecting? For the whole online society to magically become politically correct? Jesus, are you that dumb?

There is no easy option to report people who are messing with you outside of a game. And it's not about 'politically correct'. It's about the fact that girls are treated fucked up online. Period. End of story. It it needs to change.

A guy can go online and use voice chat, tell people he is a guy, go or say and do pretty much anything he wants. and no one will say shit

Girls cant. Period. Because people are like "yea man stop being so politically correct" dead

LF AnnieJan 26, 20162 votes

there is a reason riot doesn't provide voice chat i believe.

TruckFump2016Jan 26, 20161 votes

[{quoted}](name=LF Annie,realm=NA,application-id=ZGEFLEUQ,discussion-id=VoU6acX5,comment-id=000a00000000,timestamp=2016-01-26T03:46:03.245+0000)

there is a reason riot doesn't provide voice chat i believe.

Yea it would be a straight up shitstorm.

lmao

LF AnnieJan 26, 20161 votes

i think its more along the line that if you don't reveal your gender, there is no way to tell on league, causing a healthy environment regardless of gender. when you contact someone outside of riots system, give them access to your gender info, you have caused the means to whomever to say whatever about what they find out.

riot doesn't give voice chat, so any info found by the person sending the message was given voluntarily to a stranger. having played games and talked over skype, could it be possible that the guy believed that she may have been approachable in this manner? we will never know, because we don't have the records of the call, and just her statements where in her own posts she contradicted herself making herself out as a liar and a troll.

the entire post in question is an eyesore on what TRUE sexual harassment is, and is part of why no one takes conversations about sexual harassment on the internet seriously.

TruckFump2016Jan 26, 20161 votes

[{quoted}](name=LF Annie,realm=NA,application-id=ZGEFLEUQ,discussion-id=VoU6acX5,comment-id=000a0000000000000000,timestamp=2016-01-26T04:02:39.091+0000)

i think its more along the line that if you don't reveal your gender, there is no way to tell on league, causing a healthy environment regardless of gender. when you contact someone outside of riots system, give them access to your gender info, you have caused the means to whomever to say whatever about what they find out.

Well, this is basically saying that girls can not even use nicknames that could be construed as "girly". It's kind of like saying to black people "act less black" so that they will get less racist responses. Should it have to be a secret? It shouldn't. At all. Girls can not freely be girls online without being harassed. It's not her fault for insufficiently hiding her gender.

riot doesn't give voice chat, so any info found by the person sending the message was given voluntarily to a stranger. having played games and talked over skype, could it be possible that the guy believed that she may have been approachable in this manner? we will never know, because we don't have the records of the call, and just her statements where in her own posts she contradicted herself making herself out as a liar and a troll.

You disagreed with her initial assessment and, on a mission, nitpicked to prove her wrong. We don't have logs of the conversations between the two.

Thus, you are left with the question: is it more probable that 1. the guy just got creepy out of left field, which happens ALL THE TIME because there is little/no punishment 2. There was some flirting/already sexual conversation/some kind of hint that it would be ok to talk like this, and this girl is randomly crying wolf because undetermined reason

I think you believed number 2 all along, as it fits in your mentality of blame the victim, these bitches be lyin cuz, girls invite it

the entire post in question is an eyesore on what TRUE sexual harassment is, and is part of why no one takes conversations about sexual harassment on the internet seriously.

I think you are looking at it is needing fit qualifications A B C and subset 1, 2, and 3 in order to be sexual harassment.

Sexual harassment is unwanted advances of a sexual nature, usually (but not always) directed towards women.

LF AnnieJan 26, 20162 votes

how do you determine something is unwanted? you offer it, and then find out by the response, if you CONTINUE, after YOU DISCOVER THAT ITS UNWANTED, then it is sexual harassment.

TruckFump2016Jan 26, 20161 votes

[{quoted}](name=LF Annie,realm=NA,application-id=ZGEFLEUQ,discussion-id=VoU6acX5,comment-id=000a000000000000000000000000,timestamp=2016-01-26T04:18:23.941+0000)

how do you determine something is unwanted? you offer it, and then find out by the response, if you CONTINUE, after YOU DISCOVER THAT ITS UNWANTED, then it is sexual harassment.

Asking "hey wanna see my dick" is harassment even if you have no knowledge of whether or not rhe question was unwanted

These weren't his words, but a stronger example of sexual comments being inherently more powerful than normal comments

If the social retard in someone is so strong that you can not understand that, they should refrain from making sexual comments altogether

LF AnnieJan 26, 20161 votes

the problem is, that's not what this entire situation is about, but a crude question about a persons personal habits.

really what this whole thing breaks down to is, you taking one single portion of the thought of the post she made, and blindly focusing until its near religious arguments about what should be, might be, but not what is.

TruckFump2016Jan 26, 20161 votes

[{quoted}](name=LF Annie,realm=NA,application-id=ZGEFLEUQ,discussion-id=VoU6acX5,comment-id=000a00000000000000000000000000000000,timestamp=2016-01-26T04:30:19.106+0000)

the problem is, that's not what this entire situation is about, but a crude question about a persons personal habits.

really what this whole thing breaks down to is, you taking one single portion of the thought of the post she made, and blindly focusing until its near religious arguments about what should be, might be, but not what is.

The boards responses to her basically blaming her begs a larger question: Are we ok with how girls are treated online? Is it a girls fault that they are constantly sexualized and made to feel uncomfortable? Is the internet just as safe for girls and women as it is for men? I think the answers are all obvious, but the macho woman-blaming tries to justify creepy behavior as normal.

LF AnnieJan 26, 20163 votes

i think that is people refusing to use the main point of networking on the internet. ANONYMITY. anonymity is the entire point of communicating via the internet. refusing to stay anonymous IS on the person that does so.

DREADN0UGHTJan 26, 20162 votes

{quoted}

Girls cant. Period. Because people are like "yea man stop being so politically correct" dead

No. No one would say that. They would make rude comments about something sexual or taunt you.

And as much as you would like to, they would not stop. Its not about being online, its fking education. Idiots like that are raised to be brainless machos. Nothing YOU can do about it. Normal people would respect you. Pick your friends.

Straw Hat LokiJan 26, 20162 votes

w/o context, I can see why you would be upset at these points; they are utter trash.

I know almost all of the girls I have played w/ get asked whether they can share selfies or nudes even. I have seen some of the chat messages they get from seemingly normal people and it is disturbing HOWEVER, all of these were by teenagers in their early teens asking for pictures and what not. If an adult knows that the age of the girl before them is very young and then proceeds to ask them for nudes then you know you might have a pedophile at hand; teens asking other teens for nudes is fairly common as far as I have seen in the last year in LoL.

Of course, adding someone on your friends list doesn't make you responsible for what trash is being thrown at you. Often times people add after they noticed a player who was very positive in their last game and after the ice is broken b/w them, things like these come out. Possible entirely and not the fault of person adding; just remove them and move on. I don't think young children really interacting asking for selfies is threatening; like I said, if an adult seeks these out from these kids then you have a creeper but even they can be blocked. It is not your fault for adding them. They asked, you removed them from your friends list; move on. No harm done.

The second point is also ridiculous; sexual harassment is not limited to just what you listed as others having posted but again I think the doubt arose about whether there was any sexual harassment. From what I seem to gather, there didn't seem to be any as she immediately just blocked him after he asked about her sexual practices. Was it appropriate? Nope. Was it threatening and/or bordering harassment? Nah. He asked, she said no, and both moved on. Done.

I'm going to stay away from the topic of respect for women versus men. That's just playing with fire.

Of course no one should have to hide their sex ideally. Although if you already know and have seen "harassment" based off of your sex, then do not disclose it to others; that is a good way to get by. It isn't ideal but it is something you can use to not get bothered yourself. Only reveal it to those you have gauged for a while in your friends list? Point being sex definitely should not be a basis of harassment but while that ideal world is, hopefully, on its way, just be careful in who you reveal your sex to.

I am sure most people would not be okay w/ an adult for asking sexual pictures off of a little girl. If it was another young one asking for pictures b/c of whatever reason, then you assess the matter wrt it being threatening or nearing harassment or demeaning etc.

I am sure most people would say these points are nonsense just as you concluded; I think the reason it was such a back and forth discussion was b/c people differed on whether there truly was enough substance to merit sexual harassment in the original post. I personally think if she had made it clear she was not open to such questions and still they were directed her way, then yes it is sexual harassment and deserves penalties by Riot. From what it appears, it was a single question from most probably a virgin boy and he got what he deserved: she blocked him and shut him out.

Best of luck to you and the girl who posted this originally as well. I totally see and understand your point of the internet not being as easy for women.

You should check this link on YT out by the way.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCLi6vSIuPE

I hope posting links is NOT an offense; I'm still new here.

LF AnnieJan 26, 20162 votes

here. context. remember, itrawl is an inch from permaban, and chaotic sage has already been permabanned.

http://boards.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/f/ZGEFLEUQ/d/wPoWeegf?

Straw Hat LokiJan 26, 20161 votes

I read the other comment you also posted to give me context; thanks a lot.

Mind telling me what the penalties were for to these people? I'm just curious is all. Not sure about sage but the other fellow seemed genuinely to have concerns. I didn't see the offenses in what I have read thus far.

Thanks!

LF AnnieJan 26, 20161 votes

itrawl is genuinely concerned with making the post more than it was.

im pretty sure both are/were toxic in game.

Straw Hat LokiJan 26, 20161 votes

Gothca.

Thanks!

[slayer-jinx-catface]