Veigar's Superb Gentleman Guide
Well hello there, reader! I am glad you took the time to visit my humble corner of the Boards. You see, I have a guide that I would like to share with you – a gentleman guide! Mhmmm, yes… [twirls moustache] What is a gentleman guide, you might wonder. It is a guide that will teach you a matter of great importance: how to properly behave on the Fields of Justice.
You might know me as the superb villain, but a villain is nothing without a gallant and genteel style, or at least not superb. So without further ado, here are the basics:
INTRODUCE YOURSELF
When you arrive in the comfort of a pre-game chat, a proper introduction is needed. Your name is not of importance, but your expertise and knowledge is – your name will be known by your actions, not the mere symbols that form it. If you are in a ranked queue, respect the order your gentlemen and ladies pick their respective champions in. In normal queues, the norm is to state your wanted role and respect the order in which the roles were called. But… if you are a true genteel soul, you will fill the void that is left by the unwanted role. A true villain [cough] gentleman… strives to strengthen his team, so that he might conquer the opposition with ease. World dominance does not happen by itself, you know… If you crave more planning and structure, the Team Builder might be the tool you are looking for, where everyone gets to choose their wanted roles and champions without wasting time on quarrelling. The new champion select experience might improve pre-game communication further, but if the experience is superb remains to be seen.
An example of a good introduction: Greetings fellow Summoners! This villain is best suited for the middle lane, but can fill other roles as well! An eloquent way of informing your team of your most suitable role, but maybe a bit too much?
An example of a short, but precise introduction: Hi! Main MID, can also ADC. Short, but sweet. Just the info the team needs, nothing more, nothing less.
An example of an introduction that no one, not even the King of trolls, would acknowledge: MID OR FEED! First of all, a message in all CAPS does not clarify the message itself, nor is it pleasing to ones’ eyes. It is simply of bad taste. Secondly, the hostility and threat of feeding the opposition is unheard of and exposes this Summoner’s weakness: he is too limited in his expertise, and fears a proper challenge.
As I like to say: "The feelings of terror only prove your inferiority!"
START THE MATCH WITH A BOW
Start your matches with a bow in the form of a pleasant greeting to your enemies, as well as your allies. Earning trust and respect right from the start makes everything easier and spreads joy. Because superb villains always create a good mood before they unexpectedly leave their lane and bring doom to others! [MUHAHAHAHAHA!]
Should your greeting be met with cursewords followed by an acronym like "jk", it is not a joke. It is an excuse for a person to fart in your general direction. Remind them that cursing with a target is not allowed. Let me bring up an example from a recent competetive match I was part of:
Superb Villain Veigar: "Good luck and have fun! Less flaming, more gaming! :)" http://i.imgur.com/oxhXAwm.png (Yes Brand, most people do not appreciate flaming... So please do cool down) http://i.imgur.com/egYbfTT.png
xX1337FlamingBrandXx: "F - - k you! Burn in - - ll!" TrundleTrololo: "F - - k you! LOL!" xX1337FlamingBrandXx: "jk" Superb Villain Veigar: "Please be as kind as to expand your vocabulary! Cursing at other players is a breach of the Summoner's Code!" Trundle 2016: "Yes, mommy! LOL!"
Well, at least the troll kings read what I wrote, that is surely a start... Some might argue that "they are simply joking!", but then they forget the Summoner's Code and what they agreed to. Simply saying that one jokes after throwing faeces at you is not joking. A proper joke should have a point, a punchline, or catch you off guard, so that you laugh of the absurdity. These trolls have failed at basic communication, humour, and respecting rules they agreed to by creating a League of Legends account. If they do not learn, I hope my reports will let Rioters shine some light on them and turn them to stone... Ah, what a pleasant thought! [Grins]
Dear reader, do feel free to use my greeting that I always bring with me!
COMMUNICATE WELL
Use smart pings and text to quickly show your strategic superiority. It is easier for your team if you inform them of the enemy’s movement, ward placement and actions. Use the smart pings in a smart way [KEK], and do not use it when not needed, lest it lose its true potential and meaning. A bombardment of pings only leads to anger, less focus and ignorance towards further pings. Superb teams crave superb communication and superb focus!
COMMUNICATE LIKE A PROPER GENTLEMAN
Regardless of the hostility of your teammates, you should strive to be an example to be followed. Meet their rage and cursing with constructive feedback on how the team as a whole can cooperate to win against the currently leading enemy team. Calm the beasts and let them lose at your enemies instead! You can always mute them, should their deplorable behaviour continue after continued constructive and gentle feedback. Swallow your pride and know that if they do not improve, you can report them after the battle and truly grin like a superb villain.
Because let us face it: under all the fancy apparel and eloquent way of expressing yourself, you are but a villain by heart. You want people to suffer, but you want people to suffer for the right reasons. So DESTROY them!!!!!! Errrhmmm Let me correct myself… Fill out the Report Card properly and be as detailed as possible to make the smiting easier for the Rioters.
This is where our ways part and I hasten to the Gentleman’s Club before we enter the Rift for a good ol’ round of competitive e-sports! Adieu!
