Post-ban thoughts.
Hello everyone!
I'm skidmarkmania, or "Skid" for short. I have some reflections and thoughts on being banned, and thoughts about the situation after taking the summer break away from anything League-related, and I thought I'd share them with you.
More than 5 months ago in February, I was banned for inappropriate behavior. I made a post about it here. In the comments you'll find the link to the chat-logs. To this day I regret all that I said.
In the months that followed my perma-suspension, I reflected on my actions and my reasons for letting my emotions control me on that fateful Valentine's Day. Immediately following the notification, I did not play for roughly one month, too remorseful to even touch the game. How could I play a video game where I'm one of the few support mains that is UNwanted? Regardless of my lane preference, I was penitent. At least I felt that way. I booted up the Alternate in mid-March and played close to two matches, if not only one match, a week. This went on until the end of the school year, where I had arranged a trip away from my home in Alaska. I went to work in Southern Cali, where I spent my days trying to stay cool and working 7 day weeks for all but two weeks of the entire summer. I went to church, I went out to eat, I thought about my favorite pasttime and the previous 5 + years I'd invested into it. League of Legends grew me through college and helped me overcome some extremely rough odds. It gave me confidence in several areas that I had once thought impossible to deal with. League taught me compassion and friendship. All of my friends I made through the game. I lost that when I lost my closest friend; she died from suicide. She would play League in the bottom of the refrigerator, just to keep her hands cool (and her laptop) while she played. She was adorable and fun, and was the Annie to my Tibbers. I let her death get to me in negative ways, and I thank God those ways were not harmful to myself.. However, those ways were harmful to others. For that I'll always be sorry. To those 18 players, to the 250 people on my friends list, to my friends IRL that haven't talked to me since last semester. I let my emotions rule me and that was out of line, inappropriate, and unlike my normal self.
It's been awhile since I've played though! And I miss it. I play on my alt again now that I'm back home in Alaska as of a week and a half ago, but it still pains me to lack the resources and friends I had on the other account. This is my sentence, though, and I'm serving it.
Anyway. I had some things on my mind and I'm glad I could share. I hope all your games are as fantastic as you all are!
Good Luck on The Rift,
Skid <3
