Tilting so hard I hit depression?

Hi, I just rejoined the game from quitting 5ish years ago. I've been on and off the game since, leaving the game then returning as I meet people I like interacting with.

Initial reason I left was a pretty graphic one. I was playing support for a jinx who got tilted, then went into graphic detail about how they would dismember me, rape me, then shove my body into the back of a trunk. It was a really jarring and scary experience for me. I really love the gameplay, but the people are just really difficult to interact with.

I went on a bit of a rant, but how do I enjoy this game? I try being goofy before the game starts in blind pick- joking about dancing in the river and stuff. mostly to promote positivity and stuff. usually enemy team will kill me, then my team will rip me a new one. I don't understand how this game is enjoyable if the environment is so forcedly aggressive and negative. I really want to, but then entire thing just tilts me into a depression. I don't gain experience or anything from playing with bots, and honestly they're really not fun anyway. So what can I even do at this point? I don't want to deal with people threatening bodily harm over a game.