Boards›Player Behavior

Former toxic players who successfully reformed, how did you do it ?

Lemexis·10/21/2019, 3:43:02 PM·13 votes·14,434 views

Hey,

So I've been playing for 6 or 7 months now, and I've noticed I've been more and more toxic over the time. So inevitably, two weeks ago or something I got a 10-games chat restriction. So I did the games, used "mute all" for a while and then, when I felt ready, I stopped muting chat at the beginning of the game because I actually enjoy it most of the time.

But then I started being toxic again really quickly, and so a few days ago I got a 25-games chat restriction and got honor level 1. I've been disabling chat for an even longer period this time, but eventually I turned it on again because, again, I really like it most of the time.

But the thing is this can't go on. I need to figure out a way to be less toxic. I've done the "tilt type" test, it said I was a Barbarian, which is probably true. Most of the time I just mind my own business, but when someone starts flaming me many times I just can't keep my shit together and I just flame back. I thought after my first chat restriction I could just talk back in a very mild manner, without using any bad language or whatever, but apparently I can't.

So, the solution in theory is super simple : if someone shows a hint of toxicity, I just mute them, and if I feel like I'm tilted and on the verge of exploding, I just preemptively disable chat or, ideally, take a break. But in practice, I don't always realize I'm tilted before hand, and when someone flames me it can completely overrides any rational thought which "prevents" me from just muting them. And it's almost as if I only realize I've been toxic -after- the game, because during the game I'm acting purely on impulse.

So, in other words, what I truly need would be a way to stop the "toxicity snowball", to... "reset" my mental during a game. I'm sure even taking a deep breath would help, but the toxicity takes control so quickly I feel like I can't even do that.

Does anyone relate to what I said ? Does anyone has any solution that worked for them ?

Any help would be appreciated !

[slayer-jinx-catface]

72 Comments

Dunkoholic10/21/2019, 5:01:33 PM9 votes

As a season 2 veteran I can say that the state of the game increased my toxicity to insane level, I never believed I would get my s2 account permabanned and then a year after my other account also, currently on my third.

Main reason is because I play Darius only and since Riot decided to turn top lane into a complete fuckfest of bullshit ranged champions and mages who no one wants to nerf it seems for 2 years now, and I can say that I will not be surprised if this one also gets permabanned. Because if you type 3 letters to your 1/9 ADC who REFUSES to surrender, that’s worth of a ban, amazing system right?

However, I am NOT reformed and i NEVER will be, because even in real life I am a very easily triggered person because of things I will not talk about but it’s there. But I can give you one advice, just leave the game, abuse this shitty system Riot made, AFKers NEVER and i will say that again NEVER get punished. If you feel like you will flame and tilt too much, just leave the game.

AIQ10/21/2019, 3:56:17 PM7 votes

You hear it all the time but it's the truth. Disable Chat.

Chat is the most useless feature 90% of the time. Tell everyone in the select lobby 1 thing. "I have chat disabled, just an FYI. No I will not enable it." And mean it.

Get better at using pings and using the mini map play your own game. No one works well together, it's useless to try come up with plans. Ping you are going to baron if they go great if not oh well.

Lets disregard how this will reduce your toxicity, but rather how it will increase your joy. This community sucks. 90% of it even the "nice" people are still toxic at times. Why wouldn't you just want to be done with it?

All I can say is every time I re-enable chat its the same crap, people flaming me for not being the perfect jungler. You'd be surprised how much better league is without chat.

Think about it, in the last 10 games how often was the chat helpful information vs useless banter?

Disabling chat allows you never to type while never seeing theirs. It's a win/ win. So long as you don't AFK/int you cannot be reported for anything except cheating and if you changed your name to something against the rules.

Just try it 15 games. Leave it off, see how much better league is with no chat. But out of courtesy make sure to let them know in champ select that you will be disabling it.

Starcraft243ver10/21/2019, 5:03:55 PM5 votes

To be honnest you have to take a step back. If you ever feel frustrated, ask yourself why you are playing, what's going to change in your life if you happen to lose this game, or the next one, or the 10 next ones ?

At some point I was raging a lot, not flaming a lot because I was always able to control my behaviour, then I decided to totaly change my champion pool, I dropped 4 divisions, and climbed back slowly.

I did it again, same thing happened. I was now confident I could climb back whatever happens. Who cares if I lose 10 games, 20 games, I will be back. I just know it. I think I was upset because I was stressed I would lose my rank, now I dont care about ranks anymore and yet i've never climbed so high before.

Play to have fun, play to learn, play to train, if you do this, you are never losing, because your goal is not to get Lps or victories anymore, you goal is to get better or to have a good time, and it doesnt matter what your team is doing because you achieve these goals even if everyone is feeding in your team.

YaraUwU10/21/2019, 9:14:34 PM4 votes

I quit. It did wonders.

Quáx10/21/2019, 3:55:22 PM3 votes

I'm gonna be honest with you. Being untiltable is really really hard. I tilt all the time, and I feel ignoring it entirely, and acting like a robot isn't a good solution at all. Usually, when someone flames me I respond with a simple phrase that usually shuts them up(I play mostly ranked so this may not work in norms) and is as follows

"I don't have to win us this game." and then mute them because that's all you need to say.

Give them a sort of threat and then don't wait for the response. I usually get my anger out in that one line.

LightswornLance10/22/2019, 10:17:50 AM3 votes

Never reformed, I just avoid saying the systems trigger words and never get banned :)

TIKrunk10/21/2019, 7:03:57 PM3 votes

Most of the time I just mind my own business, but when someone starts flaming me many times I just can't keep my shit together and I just flame back.

You've spelled out your problem by yourself. So, with that said, let's delve a little deeper into that.

WHY does being flamed disturb you so deeply you can't control your emotions and make the choice to flame back? What are they attacking other than your perception of how good or bad at the game you are?

It's not a matter of "killing your emotions" as someone else had said. It's a matter of CONTROLLING your emotions. Fuck it, feel angry if you absolutely have to, but understand that how you express that anger is YOUR CHOICE and NOBODY ELSE'S FAULT. If you get mad and punch a hole in the wall, understand that nobody made you punch a hole in the wall. You chose to punch a hole in the wall.

Maybe instead of punching holes in the wall, you do push-ups. Maybe instead of stomping around the house, you do squats. Maybe instead of screaming at the top of your lungs, you go for a run until you're breathing as hard as possible. Bonus points - You get rid of your negative energy AND do something positive for yourself (healthy body = healthy mind).

And, like Starcraft said, change your perception. Get the Vince Lombardi mentality out of your head ("Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing"). Make it more about learning than winning. Also, not saying you have to be religious or make it a part of your life, but consider two staples. The Golden Rule, and the Serenity Prayer.

Golden Rule : Do Unto Others as You Would Have Done Unto You

Serenity Prayer : God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference.

FioraWillCarry10/21/2019, 10:56:52 PM3 votes

I had that problem. It took a permanent ban for me to realize a LeaveBuster is a far less harsh punishment.

GatekeeperTDS10/21/2019, 4:02:54 PM3 votes

You don't have to be un-tiltable, nor kill your emotions. If you break the potential solutions down, it becomes a little easier.

For example, STOP GETTING ANGRY is trying to eliminate your emotions, that's a difficult solution and stressful to think about. But isn't CONTROL MY REACTIONS quite a bit easier of a solution? That's what worked for me.

Also, be selfish in the good way. "If I behave like this, I'm risking my account standing, my honor, and my rewards. It's not worth it."

Finally, a lot of people who post here think that their only two paths during a heated situation are "FLAME THE EVERLIVING FUCK OUT OF THEM" and "KISS THEIR ASSES." They forget about the third solution - do neither. You don't have to be nice to people who treat you like shit in game, you don't have to be nice to anyone. What you have to be is not a jerk. Not responding to someone is your best tool.

Thank you for being one of the rare unicorns who posts here genuinely asking for help, and fully aware of his own problems.

Ionian Vulpix10/21/2019, 5:59:44 PM2 votes

Stopped playing.

Get210/21/2019, 4:56:05 PM2 votes

I admit I get tilted from time to time. It most-often seems directly linked to the horrid matchmaking and that I main a support. I get flamed, and I have eaten it up hook and all. Disable chat is the only option you really have. At the first sign of someone being toxic, either team, just mute that person and any/all accomplices.

Also, learn to recognize when your game is going down to trollville. And create your own personal goals like:

how can I at least shut that fed guy down
Can I get a turret on my own?
Can I work on vision and map awareness?

I just create my own meta for that match and try to learn something. I still try to fulfill my role as I am supposed to, but I am not going to beat my head on a wall trying to communicate with people who don't seem to have much of a clue about my role because they might be tunnel-visioning.

I also will mute the second someone pings me with question mark spam, like if I make a mistake or misinterpret what's going on. Accidents happen. I cover them all the time, as much as I make them.

Don't even tell them they are muted. Just mute them and let them spam their marks and bark at you in chat. Waste of their time and they won't even have a clue. And at the end of the match, report them. Ignore chat. Move on.

Summoner SpeII10/21/2019, 4:19:15 PM2 votes

learn to be lord DGAF, he is the best tilt type and you will never get banned because riot doesn't ban inters that aren't hard running it down mid

tyralie10/21/2019, 6:52:56 PM2 votes

got a 10 game chat restriction few weeks ago becauuse someone jsut trolled my promo and i went fullr age mode ( failed from g1 promo to plat 2win 3lose to g4) wanted to try to get plat this season but now its the end all boosted account tryhard and smurf are there so i jsut gave up can't 1v9 every time ( im not challenger im not pro so can ahve bad game too ) Just mute directlly people that are annoying or start to flame or directly mute everyone and follow the ping.

PS: hope next season they will do something about matchcatching shouldn't fight a bot premade with communication and good mastery vs a random bot lane or a player thats jsut up lv 30 and is placed with us

Gall10/21/2019, 4:38:11 PM2 votes

I've had my original account (not this one) restored after a year of it being permanently banned. Got it up to diamond last week.

I personally will mute anyone who might talk as soon as I make a bad play, then unmute them later when I'm doing better. Or I'm sarcastic saying things like "wow you're so good" and include a lot of smiley faces or emotes. If I'm not feeling it, I'll full mute including pings. Sometimes, if the game is incredibly bad and we can't win, I'll still try but will turn on something on my second monitor and not try "as hard" (not inting, just not caring as much). If I'm having a great day and have a lot of energy, I'll simply be positive all game (about 50% of my games, 30% I don't talk much and 20% is the aforementioned). Not saying it's the best way to go about it, but it works.

Kei14310/21/2019, 8:38:46 PM2 votes

While I haven't been punished before, I find my best response against all flame is to own the flame. They call you bad? I just say "ikr, will work on doing better next play"

Understand that people aren't attacking you, they are attacking your play.

If it was a bad play, just admit it, learn from it, take note of it for the next play and improve.

If it wasn't a bad play, you know they are full of shit and why would you need to treat shit talking (literally) seriously?

Kometto10/25/2019, 9:48:37 PM1 votes

I've played this game for quite some time now. Had those times of being toxic. My best advice is maybe focus on yourself, rather than the other players. Play with some friends, instead of flaming, why don't you just laugh it out with your friend. Me and my friends, instead of flaming someone for their misplay, us at discord would be like "ahahah did you see that mid play" "he failed his flash and died". Also i think muting team chat and all chat is a GREAT way to start (by the time they have shown toxicity, it may be just a little bit too late).

Hope my advice helped :)

Sadder Starfish10/27/2019, 11:49:24 PM1 votes

Get a few friends and set up a small team. I find that it's a lot more fun when you play with your friends.

ShyImagoghnar10/27/2019, 11:51:07 PM1 votes

i was actually happy with my life for about a month in season 7, when i managed to hold on to an account long enough to get plat for the first time

i'm definitely not reformed anymore tho

MasterDClone10/21/2019, 9:02:16 PM1 votes

dont flame in chat, flame aloud, or be in call with friends while playing even if they aren't in game.

ActionWildman10/22/2019, 3:02:44 AM1 votes

GO into settings and remove the option to type, and mute all at the start. If they run it down, just keep playing. learn to soft int to make sure games end faster.

Regina George10/22/2019, 4:33:02 AM1 votes

I had my first account permabanned 5-6 years ago cause I was SO toxic back then and this account I have is at Honor 5.

A lot of the toxicity was from my own personal unhappiness tbh. Now that I'm older and more sure of myself, I don't lash out to strangers over the internet anymore. At the end of the day, it's a video game. I know we all want to win and do well in our games but that's not always the case. A few things to try are typing out what you wanna say, but never send it. Try to be in voice chat with people so you can voice out your frustrations to friends etc instead of raging in all chat. If both of those dont work. just mute them.

ßlameMyADC10/22/2019, 5:28:48 AM1 votes

I had my main account of 7 years on EUW permabanned about 2 years ago due to my toxicity. A private situation was reflecting itself into the game. And I figured that I just don't want these things to happen.

I'm on honor level 3 checkpoint 2 right now.

SInce you mentioned that your issue was that you would get engaged with other people who flame you. I've got a simple principle for you to follow. You don't have to repeat it like a mantra, but always keep it at the back of your head.

Don't give a Flamer the ability to report you. Cuz thats what you do if you reply to that. Then they get their juicy "Now I can report you for negative attitude" or Insult, or Intentionally Feed or whatever. It doesn't matter who started. If you're not intentionally dying, you don't need to worry about them wanting to report you for feed. It won't have any effect.

US Police follows a similar principle btw, to avoid police brutality.

Trust, they'd love to smack some peoples faces who're insulting them or other things, but if they did that, the person could sue the officer for thousands of dollars. Simple principle: Don't make a stupid idiot, a rich stupid idiot.

TrikzterzArma10/22/2019, 7:57:19 AM1 votes

I had my first account permabanned 5 years ago, and haven't had this account banned even once. I'm simply thinking that "it's literally only a game. Nothing AT ALL will change if I flame."

TheFakeMrobby10/22/2019, 10:43:26 AM1 votes

Bro who cares if people at your elo flame you, you are silver 4 there is no way you should listen to those people. They know nothing about the game and if you try your best you can easily climb , just ignore the noobs and don’t go down to their level. GG

Barley10/22/2019, 11:34:34 AM1 votes

Ive been in the same boat as you. 10 game chat restriction very quickly turned into a 25 game chat restriction and that coulda turned into a temp ban. Turn off All chat completely. Dont turn it back on. Also, just keep a positive attitude. Share your rage with yourself, not others. Go find a discord server with a rant channel or something.

Pachiru10/22/2019, 1:25:26 PM1 votes

Sometimes the game isn't helping either :(

SennaFirstPick10/22/2019, 3:19:28 PM1 votes

i played with another toxic player. made me realise i was acting like a manchild and just grown out of it i guess.

that was probably in 2013-ish and i haven't been toxic ever since. maybe a passive aggressive comment every once in a while.

Blue Shift10/22/2019, 4:36:12 PM1 votes

People that used to play the game have seen how good the game was and could be. It's frustrating playing top and being klepto abused or in my case, maining assassins mid against the insanely overtuned mages.

You have no idea how frustrating laning against a veigar with glacial is who does more burst damage than you with one q + ult past 12 minutes.

DankDaddyDizzle10/22/2019, 8:22:39 PM1 votes

I just started muting all every game.

honor me pleez10/23/2019, 1:19:58 AM1 votes

Not completely successful yet, but i just disabled allied chat, and all chat. Now i get about 1-2 honors per game, and every time i log in, i get a fragment.

GigglesO10/23/2019, 2:40:24 AM1 votes

Go play some bot games, practice support and give 100% of kills away. If you take a kill, or your ally dies, apologize.

Don't criticize last hitting, or an enemy getting away. If they get away don't even flash kill him, even if you could. Make sure its beginner bots, so you get actual new/bad players.

Busty Demon10/23/2019, 8:08:38 AM1 votes

I wasn't even close to toxic. I only said one bad word once (from the taboo list. Didn't know it's meaning either) and got a 15 day suspension. Since then I still fear to lose my account till this day. I love my account and kept building it up for 5 years. I noticed my toxicity increase after the suspension ended. Things got worse. And i for once felt close to punishment. I muted all notifications and chat once i felt a small hint of toxicity. I took a break from the game alot and kept trying to change my course of action. Instead of blaming others or me, what can be done now to fix. It took me alot to direct these negative emotions towards getting better. I started to find more games (mainly RPG) to get my frustration out. I am still trying hard not to get down the toxicity hole. Bad games are bound to happen, what matters is how you perceive it.