Thoughts about online hate speech.
In my time playing games on the internet I have been insulted many times, and I have raged at others in game. I have also been blamed for my team's loss too many times to count, and I have been partially to blame for many of those defeats.
There is no justification for one player insulting or blaming another. To observe a fact by saying, for example, "My friend, you are not the most skilled Yasuo player I know," serves a different purpose than does a blatant insult. Furthermore, in a team game, the whole team suffers the loss, including the player with the lowest KDR, such that it serves no purpose to berate someone who is trying but nevertheless does not have the best game. So, since we can see that insulting and blaming teammates does not address any actual concern within the context of succeeding as a team, such as calmly observing a fact that can be used to strategic advantage or encouraging a team member who is struggling to play well for whatever reason, then there must be another function to all the otherwise meaningless bile in the world of online gaming.
In my experience, my anger and hatred directed towards others has always started with my own insecurities. If I fear that I am not good enough, I will feel a need to put others down to bolster my own fragile identity. I will attack others in a desperate attempt to reassure myself that I am worthwhile, because by hurting someone else I draw attention to my own pain.
Recently, my first reaction to being attacked by an act of hate speech was one of hurt, confusion and amusement. However, letting the humor subside and focusing on the hurt and confusion, I then noticed that underneath those feelings was a deep sadness for the person who hurt me. I intuitively wondered, what could make a person either so angry or so indifferent, over something as ultimately benign as League of Legends, that they felt it was not only acceptable but, in fact, appropriate, to mock my identity? I imagine that the person who insulted me is in terrible pain themselves and unable to admit it. I imagine that any people who might mock this post itself might also be struggling with the same kind of crushing angst and fear symptomatic of a mind/body/spirit that is in a most uncomfortable state of disarray.
Typically, one can react in one of two manners to the pain caused by hate. The first is to externalize the pain in acts of violence, either directed towards the person who hurt you or directed towards another person, and to thereby create more pain. The second is to internalize the pain and to learn to hate yourself, which also perpetuates the pain. It takes real courage to confront the pain we feel and to do something constructive about it, rather than to fall into the mode of reacting in one of those two ways. Furthermore, there is no other way to improve our community with respect to this issue. Therefore, I will not participate in hate speech and I will not tolerate it. I will report in accordance with community guidelines and I encourage every one to do so, even if I am the one being reported. We could all benefit from genuinely engaging our thoughts and feelings in order to become better people and better players. This is only possible if we hold each other accountable to intelligently defined values, because those values are the moral compass that leads us to a place of better understanding.
It takes more strength to stand against a crowd than it does to use the false power of herd mentality to make one person feel small. GG GL HF.
