When did being friendly and positive become a bad thing?

Guiboulou·9/1/2016, 7:15:05 PM·142 votes·8,586 views

Let me tell you a story.

I queued up for a ranked game. I was in my series and quite excited to see if I could get to Gold III today. To my delight, I get mid and first pick. I hover Ahri, and go on to greet my teammates and ask how they're doing. Our ADc says I'm pissing him off and I'm "cringe". He then bans my pick and says: "Whoops, miss clicked ;)" I ignore this and tell him it's no problem, trying not to start tilting before the game has even begun. I ask our last pick for a ban and he kindly agrees. I start chatting with our Shen jungle, asking him how viable the pick is in an attempt to lighten up the mood.

We get into the game. I wish everyone good luck in all chat. We start playing, everyone is doing pretty well. Suddenly, our Draven goes off and starts flaming our support because he picked ignite rather than exhaust. It might be worth noting that I didn't have ignite as a midlaner, which may justify the support's choice. I try to stay positive and keep my team's spirits high. I tell Draven it's going to be fine, that ignite isn't a bad choice. Draven dies and starts spamming the missing ping on his support. We team fight a few times, I apologize for a mistake, I warm of incoming ganks, I notify in chat that I am backing, I congratulate my teams on good plays, things like that. Draven says I am "fucking cringe" and he will AFK if I keep talking like that. I ask him to please mute me instead. He goes silent for a while, then starts flaming his support again. 20 minutes come and he tries to surrender while we're all tremendously ahead except for him. Everyone says no, of course, and the enemy team surrenders.

In post game lobby, I can finally tell him what I think of his behaviour. I tell him I know he banned my pick on purpose, and that he probably needs help if positivity makes him tell me to kill myself. I tell him he's what's wrong with this community. He says I act like a girl. I tell him that I, in fact, am a girl. He then apologizes, saying my behaviour isn't cringe for a girl, just for a guy. I report him and leave. He adds me. ???

TL;DR - ADc got super pissed and flamed like a madman because I was being positive in chat and it somehow tilted him.

Wanna know the worst part? It is far from the first time something similar has happened to me.

90% of the time, I do not get a response to my greetings, which is a little annoying but fine. Having someone throwing/trolling/flaming because I am being a little chatty and positive is extremely stupid and makes me really sad. What is this community anymore?

EDIT: Lots of people were talking about adding each other and making teams of positive players. I thus invite you all to join me on my weird Discord server. :) https://discord.gg/j2bu4

233 Comments

Unstoppable Monk9/1/2016, 8:12:06 PM58 votes

This poor toxic ADC main boy, afraid of men on the internet that are comfortable with their feelings and ability to be more social.

Taric Taric Taric Taric Taric Taric Taric Taric Taric Taric Taric Taric Taric Taric Taric

GULAG 4 U9/1/2016, 8:26:08 PM37 votes

it's an adc fuqboi main thinking he's tyler1.

Nothing new

Ps below gold it's also a shitfest of noobs screaming yasuo op and that he has no counterplay because they load their skills at his wall

Not Too Serious9/2/2016, 2:00:04 AM22 votes

"Cringy for a guy"

...

Well fuck me then, lol

Bouncemaster Zac9/1/2016, 11:04:10 PM16 votes

-calls you cringe -tries to add you as soon as he learns you're a girl The irony is painful. I'm sorry that happened to you.

Risk of Fate9/1/2016, 8:40:17 PM14 votes

I remember way long ago when Kalista was first released. I was in a match as Ahri learning how to play with quickcast as I had trouble with some coordination (I preferred normal and still do on a lot of champions apart from a handful now that it's easier). Enemy Kalista got stuck so I went to help them, saying in all chat "I come in peace." Our Thresh followed and we were greeted by their Jax and someone else that I can't remember off-hand. After a Charm and a Hook, we managed to get her unstuck and went back to the game as normal. Want to say this was when I was about Level 25-26 and still grinding my way up.

There are other instances of friendliness, but this one is probably the one that sticks to my mind. I get frustrated like anyone else, but still I try to find moments where I can sit back and go "You know what, if nothing else, I'm enjoying myself." One in maybe ever dozen games or so I get to have a nice chat in the mid lane about random things which leads to full on discussions while waiting for death timers. You don't get this sort of thing in Ranked, I've found more chill people in norms, Blind pick being this weird mix of tryhards and new/learning players. (Even though I'm L30, Silver 4, I try to always learn even if there is nothing left)

Janna mìd9/1/2016, 7:37:33 PM14 votes

I have to tell you that i found the how's it going kinda cringy but I'm not leafy nor RiceGum and i'm cringy as fuck, also, so i wouldn't mind and answer

[{quoted}]He says I act like a girl. I tell him that I, in fact, am a girl. He then apologizes, saying my behaviour isn't cringe for a girl, just for a guy. I report him and leave. He adds me. ???

Well this is the kind of sexist guy that I truly hate (i'm a girl too by the way), and he is probably one of the main reason why I never tell something about my gender on this game (except on forums, here that's ok) even if i hate being misgendered (i must have an issue with that, i'm kinda like tumblr sometimes)

Guiboulou9/1/2016, 11:54:05 PM11 votes

I am overwhelmed by the amount of positive and kind responses I am getting. I would really love to be able to answer personally to every one of you, but that is unfortunately impossible for the time being. I just wanted to say a big thanks for showing me there are still lots of amazing and nice players! :)

Sorin Alucard9/1/2016, 7:38:25 PM10 votes

man i wish more players were as nice as you tried to be

redniwediS9/1/2016, 7:20:39 PM9 votes

The best way to view people like him is through a different lens than "the community". The community as a whole is a combination of everyone, from the most positive player to the most toxic. It's a grab bag of many different cultures and nationalities.

Usually we split them up a bit based on server, but you honestly have to split them up far more. There are simply too many small and unique groups of people out there to correctly cover them all with a blanket term.

To put things simply the community is the same as always, you've simply ran into a different part of it than you used to see. There are still people who are positive and even some who actively chat to strangers during games, just as there are and always were people who hated everyone and just want to watch the world burn.

NodaYame1279/2/2016, 5:33:17 AM6 votes

So if I'm a nice guy i'm cringe?

And the new grammar applied to the word cringe MAKES ME CRINGE. You can tell how immature people are on the internet nowadays when their slang and memes lose brain. I'm not even THAT old but I can see the age gap now and it isn't funny anymore [slayer-jinx-unamused]

Annoyance aside I don't care who thinks I'm a sissy or whatever, I'm polite because i want to be and it affects people way better than throwing macho edgy comments around just to hide how insecure I really am.

I'm fine with who I am so I won't pretend so someone I don't know can approve of it.

tophit9/2/2016, 3:48:18 PM6 votes

Revealing your gender made him apologize then he tried to add you. THE THIRST IS REAL.

rescued9/2/2016, 3:28:57 PM6 votes

Whenever someone finds out I'm a girl, they comment on the fact that my main is sona + I main support "of course ur a girl u main support sona" Because I intentionally picked to main support + sona since I'm a girl. It bothers me. -.-

zlumpy9/1/2016, 7:19:23 PM6 votes

The instant winning became the most important thing in competition. All sports and games suffer from this now not just LoL. It is a product of the general attitude society has taken towards competition. I mean look how many people get caught for cheating in the olympics anymore. It's just sad.

SlntReaper9/2/2016, 2:27:20 AM5 votes

He's not just being toxic, he's also being sexist.... Maybe he was a Tyler1 fanboi?

No flash no life9/2/2016, 3:04:21 AM5 votes

My suggestion to you is...

Play adc.

People will automatically assume you to be the toxiest of all vaynes, then when you demonstrate your profession of warmth they'll widen their eye balls and go "is this real!?".

CeexSett9/2/2016, 9:55:26 AM5 votes

The fact that he changed behaviour after you said you were a girl and even tried to add you is hilarious. There are lots of edgy 15 year olds on the internet who think knowing someone is a girl will end with them getting nudes or something like that.

I remember once my ADC asked me to Skype with him to "have fun ;)" just because I main Soraka, so he assumed I was a girl.

Tattersall9/1/2016, 9:07:29 PM5 votes

I have immense respect for how you choose to live your life. This upvote is the only thing I can give you. That, and this Slayer Pantheon Thumbs-Up sticker. [slayer-pantheon-thumbs]

Chatillon9/2/2016, 3:46:02 AM4 votes

Why did the MIA ping have to turn into that? Honestly.

I had a game where I died, i shouldn't have but i was trying to help a teammate escape but i got caught in the aftermath, but i died and the salty ass supp pinged MIA on me twice

Me: Hey, Braum, i dont understand why you pinged MIA on me because there was one enemy mid, two in front of me, and two top, so all enemies were accounted for. What did you mean MIA?

silence

If you're gonna be passive aggressive at least have the balls to be aggressive. I love a good flame fest at me especially when i can hit tab and see they are they are 1/9 and laugh it off.

Sgtvangelder9/1/2016, 8:19:50 PM4 votes

It's been super common lately, and it's really sad. Was in a ranked, and our mid requested to be adc instead. We said go for it, as they were duo with the support. Our entire team is being kind to our bot lane, even being positive, trying to encourage and help our losing lane (adc was 0/3 early on). Our adc then flames us, telling us the stfu and stop trying to be so positive. It's like, why would you want to tilt yourself harder??? Anyways, thanks for bringing a positive attitude to the community! Getting shit for being nice sucks, and often just discourages those who try to be. Keep on moving forward, and don't change!

Limrick9/2/2016, 12:11:23 AM4 votes

Trying to be like his idol, tyler1.

StarTorched9/2/2016, 3:45:23 AM4 votes

Smother them in kindness to the point of creepiness.

That shit is usually funny.

GayFluffyUnicorn9/2/2016, 6:11:42 AM4 votes

Meh i'm kinda two sided. I can understand the draven since it annoys me when you are already losing you rather keep chatting instead of focusing to win the game. Atleast it might feel like that to someone or me depending on the frequency and every single case. On the other hand i experienced myself that noone answers a simple"glhf" anymore or when i make a joke or something. People try way too hard on this game tbh. Especially in normals. I usually don't play normals unless i want to try a new champ or role and you get so much shit for a casual mode if you play badly and immediately shit like " haha sure plat player, more like boosted animal blabla". Last but not least his sexist behaviour is definitely not okay but if you take a close look at my name u can't imagine how much shit i get from the community. Many positive remarks like "honored for your name" and such but also like "yeah wanna suck my d*ick? that's what u %%%s like hehe xd".

DevlinCrow9/2/2016, 7:40:34 AM4 votes

"He adds me???" best part hahaha

I've never seen anyone be so friendly in a LoL match, I tilt hard if my team are flaming eachother which is most of the time. I encourage you to continue being friendly and anyone reading this to do the same.

Would be so nice to have a game where if I don't do well it's "No probs just take it easy relax we're still in the game" rather than "omg noob report x9" lol

Supreme Senpai699/2/2016, 8:03:07 AM4 votes

LOL he bullies you when you're a guy trying to be nice and adds you when he finds out you're a girl wtf is this high school?

VvVVvV9/2/2016, 10:17:20 AM4 votes

Most people in this game and community are just assholes in general. Its to the point where you will get a toxic response no matter what you say and how you word it. I was in a game the other day where one of our team members died 2 times in 1st 4 minutes of them game. I then asked him "please just farm under turret so you can catch up a bit." Thats all i said to him and i was told to "shut the fuck up." Then he died again less than a minute later in the middle of the lane from a gank.

Drugoth9/2/2016, 2:56:52 PM3 votes

This is pretty sad. This happens to me all the time too. I try to talk strategy, I ping at appropriate times. I congratulate teammates on good plays, provide constructive feedback to help with builds etc. I almost always have the most CS on my team (when not supporting) and the least deaths.

All of this seems to make everyone think I'm a 13 year old girl. I'm in reality a 27 year old man who is just communicative and positive because it tends to work most of the time. It's only every once in awhile I get players like this Draven that just seem to have a chip on their shoulder or something. It's such a downer...

Xyntheyxz9/2/2016, 1:59:54 PM3 votes

EXACT reason why i gave up on ranked and just play norms now...also RGMS 4 lyf

It Hertz When IP9/2/2016, 5:05:24 PM3 votes

Well that's an all time low for the community.

Croiss9/2/2016, 6:06:40 PM3 votes

This is why I don't play ranked.

James Winter9/2/2016, 11:12:47 PM3 votes

What a jerk, hope he gets banned!

dunkeroni9/3/2016, 3:58:11 AM3 votes

{quoted}

TL;DR - ADc got super pissed and flamed like a madman.

Sorry, no surprises there :P

CarameI Frappe9/3/2016, 5:27:26 AM3 votes

... Oh wow, he bans your freaken champion all because you were being nice?! Am I hearing this right?? Then he tries to act 'nice' after all he's done because it turns out you're a girl? That person ...... mmh, MHHH. That kind of person is beyond belief, i'll tell ya.

Takes such will power to stay positive after all your ADC has done. I'm really sorry about that, and I can relate actually ...

I had this game where our jungler Rengar literally hated every time I said "gj" or "nice" when our ally gets a kill / gets tower / teamfight won, ect. Eventually when he got a triple kill and I went "that was awesome dude", he replied and I quote, "i'm a Diamond player, I don't need your support. All it proves is you're being carried and feel bad about it."

....... yea.

I was playing as Nami support by the way. Went 2 / 4 / 25+ something like that. But I made some great plays and kept my ADC alive despite the enemy team kept diving for him. I don't understand why people retaliate towards positive behavior. Is it that rare now a days, that people think it's fake? I just want to make people feel good and keep them happy regardless of the outcome. Yea I can get mad sometimes or question their judgement, but i'm mostly optimistic as well like the OP because I don't want my allies on tilt.

Oh yea and in the same game, Rengar kept arguing with me about why I shouldn't congratulate my allies or speak with them about doing a good job. I, I just can't ... uuehh????

Marabout Abuser9/3/2016, 2:04:19 PM3 votes

Honestly I admire you for your patience, even though I tend to be calm I would have probably been kinda tilted the moment he banned my champ with this winking emote haha ^^ It's great to see there are still nice persons in this community which definitely needs more people like you ! [slayer-pantheon-thumbs] Also though it's already been said, "Cringy for a guy"? Following this idiot's logic, if I want to be considered male I have to behave like a douchebag...