You're Not a Toxic Person.

November Star·12/23/2016, 1:46:18 PM·34 votes·3,516 views

I hope many users who play this game read this post and at least take one or two things from it, it can change your League of Legends experience tenfold.

This thread is not to sympathize with trolls or people who are vindictive and set out from the jump to ruin someone's playing experience. This thread is for anyone who has ever felt frustration, anger, even sadness, after seeing 'DEFEAT' pop up after a long game of League of Legends.

LOSING SUCKS.

I know it sucks because we've all lost before, including myself, more times than I can count. Sometimes when I lose it's out of my control. Bot lane was giving double kills, or our jungler wouldn't gank. I'm winning my lane, but hey, why isn't mid lane warding and then complaining about getting camped? Now the enemy assassin is 5/1, bot lane's outer tower in down 12 minutes into the game, and it's not looking good.

Other times, it's my mistake. I picked the wrong champion, and now my lane is harder than ever. I'm trying my best, I'm changing my tactics, I'm even improving, all I need is a little help, yet my team is giving me no aid; they won't even give me the benefit of the doubt. I want to win! I'm trying my best make it work! If only we could just help each other and collaborate ideas, but no one seems to want to communicate. No one wants to work as a team. The frustration begins to build and soon enough, my fingers are flying across my keyboard and I'm saying mean-spirited things that I would never say to someone's face.

I don't know if you're like me but I'm not a happy camper when I'm losing or when I've lost. My heart is racing, I might get a headache, it's just not a good feeling at all. I'm a competitive person. I don't care what you say. I don't like to lose. No one does. So when I put my time, energy and effort into something, the ambition that I have expands far beyond reaching an objective and I become emotionally invested in whatever I'm competing for. I'm not going to be satisfied unless I win. And if I don't win, yes, I'm going to be upset; in fact, I might even be angry. Especially coming close to victory, and not quite achieving it.

But feeling angry and feeling frustrated after losing is okay. It's normal, and you're not the only person who feels that way.

I used to be furious and lash out, letting my anger boil over and reach unwarranted levels. Because it wasn't "just a game" to me, I don't care if there's always another one. If I spent 40 minutes doing my best, I want to win. That's my time and my effort... wasted.

That's why I became a toxic player, and it translated into other teamwork based video games. In fact, I was a sore loser in real life as well.

But those feelings of anger and frustration don't have to come as often as they do when and after losing.

There are ways to cope with losing, and they've worked with both my friends and I, letting us enjoy our experience playing League of Legends, and other team-based video games that much more.

Here it is.

HOW TO DEAL WITH LOSING AND/OR BAD GAME EXPERIENCES

  1. The step that's most important for me, personally, is Preparing to Play. This means being in a good head space. Being in a bad mood, and then thinking "let me go squash some noobs in League of Legends to take out my anger" is not a good idea. If you're in a bad mood, and losing makes you upset, if the tables turn and you end up losing, you're only going to feel worse. In fact, even if you do win, chances are, you might be an undignified winner and make it an even worse gaming experience for the enemy team. Remember, if you're winning, that means the enemy team is losing, don't make it harder for them to take the L than it already is. You know what it feels like to lose. Being a good or neutral mood beforehand makes keeping your emotions under control easier. Slipping into toxic habits such as cursing at your teammates and intentional feeding becomes far easier when you want spite someone. Don't be that person. You're better than that.

  2. If Communication is Important to You, Play with Friends. Don't you hate it when you're trying to suggest strategies to try and win a team fight or take the dragon without the enemy team knowing, and you're met with silence? I know how you feel. Dealing with this can be easy, just get someone familiar on your team! Playing with friends from school on TeamSpeak or that one guy who's always online on your friends list establishes a ground of familiarity and comfort. You can talk to each other, and this can make playing so much easier, because if even two of your are collaborating and communicating with each other, the rest of your team probably won't want to be left out of the club. Next thing you know, the whole team is pinging each other, you're taking mid tower and dragon at the same time, and Thresh's lantern's are serving you life (literally).

  3. Don't Blame or Get Angry with Your Teammates, they feel bad enough already. Or maybe they don't. Maybe they don't care about winning, and a competitive spirit such as yourself can't understand this, and it's frustrating. Dealing this can be hard, but it's important to remind yourself that they're also losing beside you, and a lot of times, they're trying.

  4. Accept That You Will Never Be Prepared Enough. Ever get ten minutes into the game and realize that you're playing more successfully than the rest of your team and you think "What the hell kind of team am I in?" Match-making is random. Players' skill levels range, and your teammates are not always using the champion they're best at. Unless you're in a 5 player ranked or e-sports team that has practiced with each other over and over again, you literally only have a little more than a minute to coordinate with your teammates, and then after that it's game time. It's not going to be easy, and you're never going to be prepared enough. Once you've accepted that, then the concept of losing never seems too far away, and dealing with defeat becomes that much easier.

  5. Continuously Point Out the Positive Through-out the Match. By the time your game is coming to a close and the enemy team is circling your nexus, you know that you've all tried your best. It feels good when someone acknowledges your highlights. Like when you got a solo double-kill as the ADC and got away with a sliver of health and your whole team congratulated you, doesn't that feel good? Anything from "thanks for warding" to "you've got great cs!" can help you recognize that your team is trying, and by the time losing comes around, you can say "At least we tried," because you've already acknowledged their effort.

  6. Loss is feedback. Knowing that you didn't win can be a punch in the face, but accepting that you lost is a far better way of looking at things. Always be keen to reflective of your own gameplay, you can never know enough in a game in which a lot of times the winner is dictated by luck. Focus on what went right, and then reflect on what went wrong to improves your odds of winning the next time.

And finally, Have Fun. Listen to much, have some snacks with you, play with friends, make jokes At the end of the day, it is a game, which means you get to dictate how much fun you have.

Play well and good luck out there.

40 Comments

Wild Wes12/23/2016, 3:14:40 PM11 votes

You should be my therapist +1

n64bomb12/23/2016, 2:49:39 PM3 votes

MonkeyKing Every mistake is a lesson.

Just summed it up for you :)

TyrekGoldenspear12/23/2016, 5:46:53 PM3 votes

Have an upvote my friend. This post will help a ton of people. Myself included.

Way too often I find myself queing up for a game in an attempt to end a losing streak instead of havimg fun.

Maximum Morde12/23/2016, 1:52:26 PM2 votes

Too long

Troll for Trump12/23/2016, 5:15:36 PM2 votes

The game is too snowbally. You'll never have fun when you're behind/losing, and you probably won't catchup 99% of the time. The only way to have fun is to be one of the idiots who say gg and start dancing at baron or trolling

Iźuku Midoriya12/23/2016, 9:39:17 PM2 votes

part 7: accepting your death

ReadyxPlayerxOne12/24/2016, 12:55:28 AM1 votes

Utter carebear bullshit.

Sorry but I've 1v5'd most of my games in the past 3 days. I'm not toxic, but this shit makes me rage when EVERY FUCKING SUPPORT I"VE HAD AS AN ADC DECIDES THEY AREN'T GOING TO PLAY THE ROLE.

Not going to debate each point but basically you say it's ok to be bent over and fucked for 40 minutes while your team does nothing. Cool shit.

Mighty Mortein12/24/2016, 4:01:58 PM1 votes

I have a bad habit of being a bit more annoyed if/when I stop my enemy laner hard say in mid lane, but say they roam bot and get a double kill. All that hard work in my lane and after all the MIAs and "!" pings especially if I can't follow that gank due to being low or simply against someone who roams very well.

It's just draining performing really well in a game and losing it in the end. I barely ever flame my teammates and just either sigh irl or yell at them w/o actually typing.

If the game is completely one sided against us, I just avoid playing for a few hours so I have time to cool down and whatnot. I have a serious love-hate relationship with this game. I loooove playing it to improve my skills and try to have fun where possible but I can also get very angry at it when I feel like the whole thing is against me.

WitheringAurora9/18/2017, 11:49:55 PM1 votes

Question, how so you learn from smurfs? 90% of the time I get ground stomped and don't even get the chance go learn from it. They can just flash+1 shot me the majority of the game as well.

Most of them use the excuse. "Cause i'm playing with a friend" or "because I want to learn new champions" Which in itself is already frustratingly enough because they don't even consider how much stomping someone else can ruin their dayz