Am I truly Toxic?

Today, I have been Perma-Banned from LoL

I was overly rude, and abrasive in a recent game. Admittedly, I did flame, I did rage a little. Insults were made, apologies were not.

I was having a terrible day, and my head was not in the right place, I got frustrated and quickly my emotions got the best of me, I had already been insulted in the pre-game lobby and by the time we loaded in, I unloaded with comments. I don't know if I was trying to vent, or if I was just so truly angered that I couldn't help myself.

With this in mind, I didn't use any racial slurs, I didn't insult the dead. I also didn't int, or give the other team info etc.

So was I toxic? Most definitely, but I have never had a suspension before, I had a 10-Game Chat Restriction once, and that was all. So to be banned permanently, out of (from my PoV) nowhere, hit me right in the feelers.. & was unexpected.

I regret what I said, I wish I could apologize to those players for having made their game frustrating/un-fun. The "Me" in that chat that game, is not the real me, only the over emotional and immature side of me that I allowed to leak out in a moment of weakness. I'm embarrassed by they way I acted, childishly.

With this in mind, I do not feel as though I truly deserve a Perma-Ban. I do deserve a punishment, I feel that a 2 Week-Suspension would be more appropriate, as I have not had one previously, so it's not as if I've nuked my second chance. I'm simply asking to "have" that second chance. Maybe my Chat Restriction "WAS" my second chance, if that's the case I did not realize it was.

I'm no saint, but I'm also no terrorist. I'm not trying to make any excuses for my behavior, only asking that I be given an opportunity to change. I get flamed/reported so often when not doing well just because of my name, I have been on the other end of toxicity, and that's why I should know better than to do it to someone else. Like I said, I had a moment of emotional weakness, and anger got the best of me. My deepest apologies are in order.

If a Riot'er see this post, if you have any faith that I can improve, and become a positive player, please consider giving me a 2 Week-Suspension instead, this is not my regular behavior, I receive more end-game honors and friend requests than i do reports. I care about the friends I have made in recent years, I'm not ready to give it up and leave yet, I love this game.

If, unfortunately, Riot disagrees, and decides I should remain Permanently banned, I suppose I'll have to swallow that pill, accept the ban, and move on to something else. I truly hope that is not the case, LoL is the only game I REALLY enjoy playing, I literally wouldn't know what else to play. This may sound pathetic, but LoL is one of the few things I'm able to look forward to right now and to have it taken away, over some negative comments, is really killing me on the inside right now, it was never my intention to be a toxic A-Hole, and again, I am truly sorry.

I would also like to hear the opinion of some players, and whether or not you think I deserve a second chance or not. Afterall, it was the community who reported me, so maybe it could be the community who is able to forgive me. Or not, I just want to hear other's opinions on this.

Thank you for reading this short novel lol.