Most fucking unfortunate player ever if anyone wants to help

Dispute this. Might as well since reddit is no longer fun and this is the end.

A semi-reoccurring Diamond III - I Soraka/Singed main from S5 - S6 who has been around since S2 by technicality. Ever since I peaked I realized what high elo is like and have been depressed since, lol.

You're not allowed to win post-D2 when against popular streamers or players under the fear of incurring their wrath. I wanted to win, but no one else does and just casually hand them wins because they want Twitch recognition.

This has left me insanely bitter. Like what's the point of even playing anymore. Then I got permanently banned for running it down on a few of these Twitch neckbeards to spite them but it was reverted after a three-month negotiation with Riot. Now I linger in D5 - D4, not really wanting to advance from my station knowing what is to come the higher you go.

I also now play under the looming terror of Riot reworking Singed/Soraka and undoing everything I've known for seven years soon. I really want to play and learn Jhin in response, but realized he is fixed into the AD role. You're not allowed to win against Twitch streamers or pro players and to be after all, and the AD role would give you the most attention and cause you to be center of hatred.

I legitimately hate everyone and my circumstances and was even forever banned from the subreddit Summoner School recently on the grounds I am "insane" after like five years of posting there and have barely even played since, just shitposting on numerous sites and not even really enjoying any of it.

I dunno what to do, lol.