Me & LoL Need a Time-Out.

Warning: This is going to be very rant-y and sound like a bit of a whining post. On the rant part, yes it is. I don't want to come across as throwing a fit, because this is a real problem for me. If you don't wanna read a rant, click off now.

Tl;dr: I'm taking a break from LoL for a while. I'm not having much fun anymore and it's making me quite stressed and very agitated. I still love the game, but there are too many things affecting my enjoyment of the game for me to continue playing right now.

League of Legends is probably one of my favorite games of all time. I want to open with this statement because what I'm about to rant on and on about will probably make you think I hate it.

Let's start with my history of the game. I used to be a total CoD fanatic, but around the time of Black Ops 2, me and the series had a falling out. I didn't enjoy the game anywhere near as much as my friends did. One of my friends messaged me and said "Have you tried League of Legends? I dunno if you'd like it, but it's something different. And it's free. Nobody else plays it with me." I was skeptical, but eventually caved in enough to try it. Naturally, I was terrible, but it was a bright new experience. It totally hooked me. So I played with my friend up to 30; we had a ton of fun and I discovered my favorite champions through the free-week rotation ( ). Naturally, they were all off-meta picks in Season 4, so I was constantly mocked and berated for liking them. Still liked them and still do because they're awesome champions.

Fast-forward to Season 5. I was level 30 and improving greatly at the game. Granted, I was still quite bad, but I could hold my own against Plats regularly. At the time, I was still kind of figuring out what I wanted to do, but I stayed a support main for the most part. Now I had a decent grasp of the meta, and I wanted to begin crushing the ladder. I had parted ways with most of my friends (lots of internal drama, mostly clan stuff) and left my clan. I was pretty much alone. This, combined with some other real-life events, began to shape me in a way I didn't notice; I became more and more toxic. My attitude slowly became worse and less cooperative, basically the stereotypical Riven. (Except I don't like Riven at all. Boring character and gameplay, IMO.) It wasn't until I received a 14-day ban that I was reminded of how nasty I became. After this, I did what I could to readjust my attitude, but I usually found myself muting any teammates that I was finding myself tempted to argue with. It worked...For a while.

Now let's skip to Season 6 and present. Instead of outright "toxic", I'm very passive-aggressive and snarky. It's not better; not in any way. In some ways, I'd say it's actually worse because of just how much more insult you can add to a passive-aggressive statement. However, in what I feel like is evenly split in fault for me, Riot, and the community itself, I've finally reached an event horizon where I can't deal with this anymore. My people skills have never been good, and LoL has not helped that in any way.

Where are you going with this? I bet this is one of the questions you have in mind. Let me answer it by being blunt. Me and LoL just need some time away from each other. I accept some responsibility for this; I've never been good with people. However, I feel like there is some blame to be divided 3 ways: Myself (which is how I ended up here), Riot (for the baffling balance decisions), and the community (for just how many nasty experiences I've had).

I'm not saying everyone in the community is toxic or it's everyone's fault except mine, far from it. In fact, probably most of the blame lies with me for letting myself end up here. But I really need a break from multiplayer games that don't involve face-to-face interaction. My attitude has dissolved heavily into one of bitterness and sass, neither of which is fun to deal with from a teammate's perspective.

So what's the point of this post? Is probably the next question. And it's a great one, because I don't really have an answer. Am I trying to draw sympathy? Not really, because I've been a monster to far too many teammates.

No, honestly, I think the point I want to get across is that LoL has simply stopped being fun for me. Whether it's forever or just burnout, I'm not sure. I usually play 3+ games per day, so it's very likely I'm just burned out. I just need some time to recollect myself and readjust my attitude, let a few patches come out and see how the game is changing.

This post is just kind of my take on my past actions and why I feel I need this break.

If you have dealt with me in a game while I was nasty, I am very sorry. I am a competitive person and look to win in any (fair) way possible, which can get me very heated in the moment. I don't want to try and excuse my actions, but I am stating why I do become toxic.

Thanks for reading. I plan on returning to the Fields of Justice in a few months when I've had a bit of time to think and readjust.