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Suspended for 14 days, again

SneaselSawashiro·12/26/2017, 9:13:49 AM·2 votes·551 views

Well, I haven't changed at all.

EVEN in normals, I feel like my opponent is instantly laughing at me for being his free-reusable stepping stone AS SOON as I start feeding in lane. I always have to type in all chat "report [insert champion I'm playing here], and assault his mom and burn his house down while you're at it cause he's a bad player".

And yes, the "he" in question is again, me. Not even muting all chat will stop anything because I'm tempted to confirm if my foe is harboring so much contempt for my bad play or not.

I know I'm horrible at this game even if people fuking jam it in my face. So what, you want me to cut my arms off or something? Or try to get good in one whole day instead of over 1000 years? And yet I can't stop playing it. I can't stop getting attached to the aspects of it. But like any horrible general who's destined to fail his battles and get his troops killed, I'm bound to have people flame me and tell me to die for being so bad at this game.

I break so many rules like proper map awareness, not doing dumb moves or wave clears and drawing pressure in the correct lanes.... I just have to get mad at the fact that my level of play gives people cancer. I don't care if people say "play for fun".

The fact that I'm a weak-hearted AND weak-minded fool is not making me content with myself at all, and now I'm banned again cause I haven't even learned anything.

So I'm sure so many people will once again, express contempt for me just being a stupid bronzie who's never changed his ways.

I've tried hard to ignore my foes....but I always have to keep thinking about what others will think, even if they don't think badly of me which results in me putting horrible words in people's mouth. People place faith in me to be good at this game, and if I can't do it...then well, cue everyone else saying "what a waste of human flesh".

Is beating up CPU's who are programmed to be beaten all I can do? Just pitiful and stupid. Why are there so many weaklings like me who play this game? Why can't everyone including me even be remotely good?

And perhaps I never listen to people and never bother to play picks like Jayce all because never I liked him at all and view him on the same level as Riven and Yasuo (and I've played the latter several times before as well; I dropped him though).

If people tell me to just try to learn to play unlocked screen, the amount of aimless practice I have to put in would've helped a normal person get up to diamond, while in my case it'd be expected that an idiot like me can only learn to climb up to silver with around over 4 years of learning unlocked screen.

I honestly have no idea what I'm going to do anymore other than completely change myself to be able to learn every high elo skill possible. Pathetic, that I am.

So yes, once again, I'm technically a very horrible human being.

Edit: A followup post to this that simply explains my problem of being so sensitive to the all chat was removed, and I'm here to say as of typing this, I'm rather normal right now. The primary solution I need is to not turn on chat again when I'm tilted, since I've always made it a habit to turn off cross-chat whenever I've played games.

However, I normally tilt due to the fact that I'm a player who has no idea how to keep his fed enemy laner under control if they ever decide to A. destroy my team from behind while I have to play catch up, or B. solo bum rush my towers down with no one able to stop them while also having teamfights take too long to settle.

12 Comments

Xeronator12/26/2017, 9:14:20 AM1 votes

It's okay. I understand why you are toxic. https://boards.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/c/player-behavior-moderation/NEoYVW9l-i-kinda-feel-bad-for-the-toxic-players

MysterQ12/26/2017, 9:24:15 AM1 votes

Downloaed autohotkey. Create script to disabled Enter key. Activate script whenever playing league. Save yourself from the dumb permaban :( due to flaming

Trust me, much better to just never type in this policed game.

MysterQ12/26/2017, 9:43:36 AM1 votes

https://boards.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/c/player-behavior-moderation/AFpWeOHk-how-to-prevent-yourself-from-being-toxic-in-game-forever

https://boards.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/c/tips-tricks/mfepiJ9E-afraid-of-the-new-automated-chat-ban-system-cant-shut-yourself-up-heres-a-solution

https://boards.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/c/player-behavior-moderation/ghKQoeu8-how-to-unbind-your-enter-key-to-prevent-inadvertent-toxicity

SUPER SAD that people are having to do this in Riot's game. But I recommend it for a bunch of players. I wouldn't call myself toxic, but I have seen some bans of people who posted fairly reasonable stuff out of anger and got banned. It is not worth losing your time and hardwork to something so stupid. Just remove chat. It is what Riot want anyways.

Falkentyne12/26/2017, 5:25:42 PM1 votes

As I said in another post--get help. If you're a student, take advantages of the mental health options at your school's office. If you're not, get professional therapy. Your issues are going to bring you down in the real world eventually, and its best that you identify and work on them before it's too late. Good luck. I already tried being friends with depressed people who sounded like they needed a true friend but I found they are simply too unstable and unreliable and act very entitled, so I don't bother anymore. If you don't have the willpower to not ever use chat, then you need help, not the toxic strangers who ALSO need help and love preying on easy targets.....

Falkentyne12/26/2017, 11:37:12 PM1 votes

BTW

Not sure if ur reading this or care but if you actually want to talk and won't just go ballistic on me (I don't trust people anywhere anymore) or you actually want a friend, you can add me on discord or skype, skype same name, discord with a #6092. Hope your Christmas was better than your League experience. There are many more things to do besides this game anyway. Just avoid loot boxes. Please.

Telephone Booth12/27/2017, 2:23:01 AM1 votes

Damn you're playing on locked screen? Isn't it harder? I don't get how that helps anyone.

Edit: I guess I'll give my two cents while I'm at it. You seem to be very wrapped up in you. All of your habits revolve around what people think of you. Perhaps you just need to stop taking yourself so seriously and not think of yourself as the center of attention in everyone else's world. I don't know how you are in real life, but I get the impression that you often think people talk about you, or are looking at you and thinking negative thoughts?

If so, you need to realize that everyone is living their own movie. You're just an extra. They may make eye contact glancing around the room, but they're more concerned with what others are thinking of them, not thinking about you. If that is a problem in your real life, where you tend to think you're involved in things that have nothing to do with you, then perhaps this realization will help you in game too. Again, I don't know you, I could be reading you completely wrong... I mean, I only have this thread to go off of. But just your thoughts about wanting to confirm that everyone hates you, just reaks of self centeredness. Not trying to be insulting, but you just seem very concerned with what people think of you, and it's unhealthy. Of course, you can't just make yourself stop these thoughts. They're more subconscious first, and then manifest into your consciousness. I don't know how to stop it from manifesting or even being a subconscious thought, but maybe this realization alone, will help start the process of overcoming your problems.

I honestly can't tell if you're being facetious with all your self deprecation. I enjoy self deprecation, but when I do it, it's mostly in jest. If you are serious about thinking that you're pathetic and a horrible person, then you definitely have a self esteem problem. It's all good being critical of yourself or being self deprecating in humor, but if you're actually serious, it sounds very unhealthy.