How Toxicity can effect a player.
Edit: Some people seem to have this confused with me moaning because someone called me something in a game. No. This is me sharing my experiences to better help other players not be like me or the people I tell you about in this. In other words, it's to inform. Yes, Trolls are toxic players too. They don't make things better. And I understand that a lot of people go through this differently and that's okay. But if you have nothing positive to say or have not learned anything from this, please refrain from saying a word because you're not helping anyone. Thank you.
I am a League of Legends player. I have been playing this game since the end of 2014. Around the time when Lunar Goddess Diana came out. When I started this game, I was confused and even the simplest character at the time, Sona, I got frustrated playing. But I learned. I learned and dedicated my time to the game. This season I have reached Gold in very little time because I didn't spend all season trying to get there. So I’m proud of how far I’ve come.
However, League has been becoming less and less fun for me to play. Not because it’s repetitive or anything of the sort. The game is amazing and Riot does an amazing job at bringing new things to the table time and again. My problem lies with Toxicity.
League of Legends is constantly referred to as the most Toxic community, at least from what I’ve seen. I don’t know everyone, you know? But I know I have a friend who’s only reason for not playing the game is because the community is the way it is. And that’s not Riot’s fault, that’s the players. Riot shouldn’t have to take the fall for that, but sometimes I feel like they do because it’s is their game. It’s not fair but that’s life, I suppose.
I’m writing because well, I have something to say about the Toxicity. So many players get away with it because of how they word things or because what they said wasn’t “that bad”. I just had a game where a Kha’Zix player sat there and kept poking at me because I “missed” a Q that the enemy jungler predicted. And honestly, players like this are why I can’t get better with my own Toxicity.
No, I didn’t say anything bad to him. I muted him eventually so I could try to focus. However, one sentence is enough to send a player on a downward spiral because that’s where their focus is now. That one sentence. Because now they know they’re gonna be watched and poked at and they don’t want that.
I became a toxic player, not in a text chat, but in Voice calls. I’m trying to get better because this isn’t healthy. I can’t get better with people like that around and I’m sure many others can’t. I became a toxic player because of players like my ex.
He was supposed to teach me how to be a better ADC player. I mained Miss Fortune and I play her and Zyra today as a reminder that I am better than that. I used to dread playing Miss Fortune because I knew he was there playing Leona and if I messed up, I was yelled at and threatened and I didn’t want him to leave me over it. He would always poke at me when I used her E on minions and waste mana or when I zoned out because I was trying to learn how to last hit and he was going in.
Over time, I became less pleasant for my friends to be around and play with because I was becoming toxic. I began doing what he did and I started looking at everyone's mistakes and yelling at them for not thinking the way I was. For not knowing whatever plan I had in my head that I didn’t say verbally. Like him, I was expecting them to be in sync with me but they’re not me and I’m not him. And I realized that in a Zyra game. In this game, I was playing Zyra mid with him and his friends. He shunned me but his friends told him to be quiet because I nearly carried the game. Zyra became my favorite champion in the game because of what she stands for to me. For me, she represents a time where I surpassed my teacher not only in skill but in attitude.
Two years later, I left him because I finally taught myself to know better. I didn’t need that and no one else did either. It's been a year and several months since the day I left him and I’ve gotten better. But I still take my anger out on people when I play any competitive game. I used to play for fun but now I play because I want to get better. And I don’t want that anymore but it’s hard to get my mindset back to that.
No one else needs to deal with players like him. Players like the Kha’Zix. People who poke at others, regardless of if they cursed or whatever, should be handled too. I have a friend who purposely doesn’t word things certain ways when he’s being toxic because he knows the system won’t catch it. And he gets so proud and it’s so sad.
This will probably get an eyeroll or I’ll probably be told that nothing can really be done but still. It’s worth a shot to help people not get to the point I’m at with this problem.
Your words do matter. They can even traumatize people. Please, be mindful of what you say to a person so that they don’t become toxic. Though this is just me being hopeful, I do wish that this opens some eyes and helps people.
And to those who are trying to avoid the poking, mute them if they refuse to let it go. It’s just a game. You don’t need it to become part of you in a negative way.
