Yeah, I'm probably just being a bit paranoid. It just bugged me a bit that he told me "glad to see you're enjoying yourself on a new account" when it's in fact the exact opposite and I'm very much NOT enjoying it.
Advice on runes/masteries is great, except the account's only level 15 and progression is really slow when I'm losing most games for only ~50 XP (or playing bot games, which honestly get boring after a while). Seeing as my former account (this one) owns a decent number of T3 runes, I'd like to think I know my way around the rune system fairly well. It took years of grinding and two rune sales to get there, though, due to my inconsistent play schedule and also wanting to actually get champions as well.
I'm just so conflicted. I've had people offer to help me level, but I'm pretty sure they lost interest and have gone back to their original accounts where the game's actually enjoyable, not that I can blame them. It's just really hard to keep up my excellent showing of reform when I feel so trapped.
One of my friends who doesn't play League (in fact the only one of my friends who doesn't play it) told me I need to just leave the game behind and move on, and I've tried. Then I got a survey a month after my ban asking me if I was enjoying League. Then someone linked me that account info page, not realizing it mentioned money spent on it, so that was just more salt in the wound.
Now I'm here reading all these other threads from banned players and I can't help but think "and I'm the same as them". It doesn't matter that I have no ill intent in my words, or if I meant them or not. The fact is, the words were said, and I can't take them back.
I wanted to think I was better than that, that I could rise above it. Turns out I'm weaker than I thought, though, and here I am just trying to get my account back like everyone else.
I'm trying to look on the bright side. Trying to help others, and improve myself. All things that should make me feel better, but all it's doing is making me lose my mind. I just don't know what to do anymore, I'm completely torn at this point.
...Sorry that rant went on a bit longer than I would've liked, but I can't keep all of this to myself. It's only going to hurt me even more if I do.