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A Hero named RedEdge

Galgerahn·5/25/2018, 1:05:21 PM·54 votes·18,102 views

I'm going to tell a short story, then I'm going to make a suggestion. Please leave feedback.

Over the passed few months, I've been going through a lot of shit. I've been playing league for a very long time, and I've become very depressed due to circumstances in my life that are beyond my control. I have declining health, and many other issues. I may not live to see 28. I noticed I'm becoming more negative, and it all came to a head this week. I was in a game, trying to cool my shit, and smile. I was relaxing. I wanted to farm, and not die. I wanted to get better at my awareness. So, here I am, getting dumpstered by leona as jhin (yikes) and lo and behold, a 4 man squad who queued up starts attacking me verbally, and playing toxicly towards me. Taking farm while I'm right there, passive aggressive, or outright hateful comments. You know, the usual! However, on this day, I lowered myself and lashed out again. I told myself I wouldn't do it anymore. Because they were 4 man, they got the other team to report me, too. It happens, you know it does. It's probably happened to you. However, on this day it got to me. "Kill yourself." Y'know it's said a lot. What they don't know is that over the years, I've attempted, and contemplated suicide multiple times. How can they know? They're not psychic. Not at all. It's whatever. The players are probably young, stupid, keyboard warriors. Who cares. Shit happens. Oh well, move on. However, this day was not like the rest, and I couldn't just move on.

I got very upset and sat there after that game and cried like I was 4 years old again, and my favorite bucket, turned into a chair, got broken. [sg-soraka]

Being a victim of bullying in every grade in school from 2nd on, and traumatic experiences such as the death of my son, abandonment by those I thought had my back, and so-forth, has left me broken, beaten, and scarred. I am a human. I am hurt. I am a player of League of Legends, and I love this game.

All of these thoughts and more were whirling in my head, and I was spiraling out of control quickly. I didn't play another. I just sat there. I opened a ticket in the Support, pleading for help, and dropping screenshots of images of players who were absolutely, unacceptably horrible. I have a 3g folder of before/after game screenshots of players using hatespeech, racist, homophobic, transphobic, disabilityphobic words that may not have ANY impact on the person who hears them 24/7. Not maybe 99 out of 100 games. But that one game? That's the one that matters. That's the one that tilts you for months, not because you remember THAT game, but because the way it made you feel lingers like a bad odor. It affects you more than just in your game. You get off your PC, and are genuinely in a bad mood, now. You take it out on your family, who don't understand, or friends, who do understand, and don't want to be around you. It's awful. It takes a special person of 500 people to WANT to do that to you, and they do exist, but... Usually it's the ones who are just in as bad a mood as yourself.

Onto the Hero RedEdge:

On this day I submitted my ticket, and he responded fourteen hours later. (because I submitted it at 2 am lol) I pleaded for a human response, because I've gotten the copy-paste "Thanks for the report, we'll look into it, kthnxbye" so many times, and that's fine. Sometimes, however, you have to color outside the lines, in order to get what you need. Only one short line was a 'professional' response, and that was "However, I genuinely do feel that the best resolution for this is to just mute the players that are flaming. "

That's not why he's the hero.

This is why he's a hero.

Sorry RedEdge, I'm going to be idolizing you here. Hope you look good in Gold Statue Casting!

First off, I want to say I am so sorry for your circumstances! I too use League as an outlet to help me cope with mentally taxing factors in my life. It really is so demoralizing when we get flamed in our games by one person, or in the worst case, all of the other players.

I know how tough it is to deal with being insulted, raged at, or just flamed in general. And I also completely understand how hard it is to just ignore other players when they are bullying us especially having a history of being bullied IRL.

He goes on to say to mute them, that one line, followed immediately by:

I know this is soooo much easier said than done because we feel hurt by their words. Sometimes these words can pierce so deep it just hurts more and more. However, if you do mute them, then you won't be susceptible to any more harassment from them in game. I do believe that if you mute them you will find even more enjoyable when you are playing your games. On top of that, please report them after your games. You can take solace in the fact that we do have a firm stance against bullying, harassment, and all other forms of negativity. You may not get an instant feedback notification that one of your reports lead to someone's penalty, but this does not mean they haven't been punished for it.

Look at that. It's a human answer. But we're not done. Mind you, I'm choking back tears here, because, y'know. I'm a bitch. I have feelings, too.

can assure you here, none of this is a copy-pasted script and I really am trying to help you find more enjoyment out of League. If you would like to continue discussing this, need in-game advice, or just straight up have other questions please feel free to reach out to me. You are a cherished member of your community and I am happy to help you out here :D

This right here. That. ^ That. Read that. Re-read that. Think about that. "You are a cherished member of YOUR community-." Not Riot games, not THEIR game. not THEIR community. MY community. This is OUR community, guys. Yes, it seems simple to say, and "duh." Think about it. Genuinely think about it. When you go to school, is that YOUR community? How about work? What about your family, if you're not the one in charge? What about other games that you play? Can it be "YOUR community"? In most cases? No, probably not.

This amazing Rioter, with simple electronic signals, from all the way across the USA, made me feel more cared about than my own family. It wasn't just validating my feelings. He genuinely reached out and E-patted me on the back. "Buck up, bud. We got you." I never knew I needed something that I didn't have in my life, so much so, until after I got it. It put me, a grown ass bitch man, into tears. Fuck.

This is what we need. We need more of this; so. My idea is this:

If you would Rito: Have a small Live-Chat team. When you find a player who's chat looks toxic, but it's not outright hostile. They just seem apathetic, passive-aggressive, or just 'bleh' Lock them from joining a game with a message of:

"A Rioter will be right with you." with no "Ok." button, while still being able to access your friends list. Have the client open up a live-chat in the window where the news is and have a Riot Player Behavior Specialist talk to that person. I promise you, 7 out of 10 times, that person will probably break down and cry, but will never tell you, or anyone. They'll put up a front, and pretend. Not out of punishment, or fear, but because Riot is here. They're listening. Everything will be okay. I picture it like this

"A Rioter will be right with you." "The F--k? For what??? What the hell??" ~ A few minutes later "Hey Player. What's going on? Your chat logs the passed X days/games have been pretty brutal. Are you okay?" "Wtf? Yeah. I'm fine." "No, really. Over the past X games, you've gone from, a pretty positive player to very negative. What's going on?" "... I'm angry at the stupid players I get." "What do you mean?" "You know. The smite nunu support who eats my junglers buffs, then runs it down mid." "Was that X game? on Y date?" "Yeah..." "We'll look into that for you. Now, tell me what's going on, and how can I help you?"

I PROMISE the ones who aren't assholes and say "You can f--k off" will NOT respond right away.

There comes a time in everyone's life where, when the unexpected happens they don't know how to respond. When something that tantalizes them with a possibility that they once thought didn't exist, they can't move or seize it. They'll have to think about what you just said. "How can I help you?"

"How can I help you?" Over and over that will replay in their head until they manage to find the words. A LOT of players are going to jump immediately to "Ban the stupid people" but it's so much deeper than that.

"No, not them. How can I help you. Right here, right now?"

Another stunned silence.

"I don't know." Is going to be the answer most times. Not because they don't have an answer, but because they'll fell like it's not okay to tell you what they really want.

We're conditioned in life to be really outstanding at shutting up, and accepting the things that come our way. We're conditioned to say "It's alright, I'm okay." We're not conditioned to be honest, to say how we really feel, without fear or guilt. If we tell people how we feel, we get bullied for it, and it just makes the situation worse. It's better to just shut up and take it, some times, because the backlash is worse otherwise.

Riot, I promise you. Most people who are negative/passive-aggressive, or downright defiant are not because they're genuine assholes, but because like me, no one can hear their story in a 30 minute game that they use to escape their life.

The abuse victims, the transgenders, lesbians, gays, bisexuals, people of religion, people without religion, people who are straight, who are disabled, who have jobs, who don't have jobs, who just lost their job. People without families of their own, people who have families that would be better off gone, than there. Families that don't help them, or don't understand. We have victims of bullying, harassment, racism. We have people who have witnessed a suicide, been the survivor of a suicide in the family, or friend. We have people who lost someone in a car accident, to cancer, to aids, to Alzheimer. We have people who are contemplating suicide right now.

We have MILLIONS of players in OUR community, and all of us share the same story.

"Real life is shit, so we drown ourselves in league to escape real life for a little while. We want to feel good, to carry, to laugh. We all are putting on a brave face, but really, we just want to FEEL okay for a little while. Feel good for a little while."

A lot of us find escapes in the internet, and in games. We get away from our dark thoughts, and out horrible situations. We are human, we are hurt, we are damaged, and scarred. Riot can be the family member who is ACTUALLY there for us, not just some fading echo in the distance of; "Be a good player."

You have a chance, just like Riot RedEdge, to reach out and touch potentially millions of players who need an extended hand more than you could possibly know in your 2 arms, 2 legs, 24 hours in your day, hang in there, hold on, hard work mentality of game-development. I feel this rioter looked at his game and said. "These are my people." He looked down from his world, and focused in on his screen. "This is a person. Not a statistic. This is their community. They need help."

He stood up (or sat down) and did something about it. This is one hell of a game of chess, but... "Check. Your move, Riot."

81 Comments

FOR JUSTICE5/25/2018, 7:24:18 PM9 votes

this actually doesn't seem like too bad an idea.

we should name it Riot intervention XD

Naymliss5/25/2018, 6:06:58 PM6 votes

I've recently been going further and further into a place where I don't want to be, but the one thing i've learned is that a lot of people who are sitting there berating you aren't doing it out of hate, they are angry and do not know how to control their anger. I've had people who have done that apologize to me, then let me talk to them. Honestly, there are just good people out there who will help you out if they can, but a lot of people on this game are super competitive with slight anger issues so they let it out on their teammates.

I got a couple of chat restrictions a while back because of a string of games with people who would troll and berate me, and it's not something i'm proud of. After putting up with being called things like that my whole life, it kinda just got to the point where I was done, but that was not the way I should have reacted. Instead, I should have screenshotted, and sent a report to riot support(which I have done since) and not contribute to being a part of the problem, instead being part of the solution.

Sighs. Honestly, league is one of the few reasons i'm still alive right now, it gives me an escape where I don't have to be me for 15-60 minutes. The constant patches and balance changes give me something else to focus on besides how much of a failure I am. I'm very appreciative towards riot for the game they've created and the community that it has fostered.

This Is Your Dad5/26/2018, 2:04:07 AM5 votes

I'll be the first to admit to being toxic in my games, mostly because I play only ranked.

That being said, I do not attack a person in a nongame related way.

Kill yourself, drink bleach, your mother should have aborted you... have no place in a game. I might sometimes get mad and accuse people of trolling when I'm at a low point and have played way too many games at once, but that's on me. I refuse to personally attack people for who they are in their own life. If a guy starts running it down mid, sure I'm aggravated that I wasted 20 minutes of my time not having fun but it never crosses my mind that they need to die for wasting 20 minutes of my time. I don't even call for reports at all. I just sigh and kinda gripe about players from time to time.

I equate slurs and hate speech as simple, uncontrolled emotional outbursts and a severe lack of self-confidence and trust. Most of the people spouting that kind of hate have something going on in their lives making them miserable, most likely the feeling of being a nobody with nothing going for them. They've become stuck in time, in complacency. They don't know how to dig themselves out of the hole they've dug so they dig deeper. When someone tries to reach in and help them out, they pull that person in with them.

Don't live like that. It's hard to change. Every day I try my best to be positive when I can but I slip up because I'm not happy with where I am in my own life. I'm sitting still, complacent. I'm getting straight As in college but am still asking myself why I'm there. I get depressed, lash out at those that lash out at me and we all bathe in our own hypocrisy.

The worst players are the ones that rage about other people losing the game for them. They know deep down that they are the reason they lost but they don't want to admit it. It's too big a burden to bear in one game. They pass it on. The annoying spam chat overly-bossy and skill-deprived players are the hardest for me to deal with personally because their faults are glaring at me as they attack me for something that went wrong. The only time I play a game I enjoy is when I win by a landslide because people judge me on how I'm playing and not who I am.

Your performance in a given match dictates how people perceive you. It's sad, but in online gaming we are all somewhat depressed because we're not able to talk to people face to face and make proper emotional connections with people.

We see our teammates as tools, not people, and that is the problem with online gaming.

QueenAqua5/26/2018, 5:02:56 AM4 votes

Ok, I'm gonna be straight. I'm suicidal as well. Have actually attempted it in the past. When I wasn't trying to do it (fiance stopped me) or contemplating it, I was harming myself. I have severe emotional problems. So, I used to cut myself to get them under control. Fast forward to end of last year. Some problems relationship-wise happened and I slit my arm open. Really bad. We were able to treat it at home but it took a month to close and longer for it to heal into a scar. After that happened, my fiance made me promise not to ever harm myself again. No cutting, punching, or biting myself. Now I know there are people that would be like "well its bad to do that" but when one problem goes, the other one under the surface comes up. Thus, when I quit the self-harm, my anxiety rose and when my anxiety rose I started having attacks. There was these 2 games that I remember. I have been trying to practice new roles a long time and in these I was playing jungle. The first game, I got hunted so bad I was dead most of the game and I got really upset. League was one of those games that I used to have fun playing in just simple normals, but something happened and normals started feeling a heel of a lot like ranked. I was really upset. After the game I said something in the chat about trying so hard not to cut but I didn't know how I was gonna stop myself. I ended up sitting there in a blubbering mess wondering what I was going to do. Then a panic attack hit. A really hard one. I sat there a good 5 minutes trying to regain control. After that, I was numb, the urge to cut gone. I queued into a game again, ended up being jungle and game loaded. Then I see a message in all chat: hey Kairi, are you OK? You didn't cut yourself did you?" it was someone from my last team on the enemy side asking about my well being. I didn't feel alone in that moment. It was comforting to know someone cared. We talked through almost the whole game. For some reason, both teams were telling us to shut up and play even though it was a normal and it wasn't messing with our playing. It didn't matter. I'll always remember that. It's what I think about whenever I get the most toxic of players in a game. Not all players are like those guys. That raka/zyra was a hero to me just for caring. Everyone should strive to be like heroes like Rededge or that player and I 100% agree with a Riot intervention window, though I will add that I think it should be able to be requested as well, not just automatic just because, ESP on that day, I didn't type in the game. I typed about 4 or 5 lines in the after game screen, a screen rioters never see. They can't know I need help if I don't type it in a place they can see. And since I mentioned them:

THANK YOU FOR CARING RAKA/ZYRA. Even if you don't know it's me or don't remember it, I can't express enough how grateful I was and am for you simply caring.

ı Sona ı5/26/2018, 5:08:32 AM3 votes

I'm really glad you got an earnest and caring response! I've mentioned it elsewhere but players seem to often forget that this game is supposed to bring enjoyment and entertainment! I've experienced some unfortunate comments that really peeve me sometimes and I know it can be hard to deal with a lot of negativity that gets spread around. It's great that you reached out to the support staff and they were able to let you know that there was a real person at the other end and they do care that you are having a good time and that your feelings matter.

I hope that you have more enjoyable games going forward! I'm here if you need a positive player playing with you! :)

NepgearDesu5/25/2018, 9:58:44 PM3 votes

I have never been harassed in any kind of serious way. Mean jokes about my gender and sexual interests were the most I had to face; nothing I couldn't brush away. I have never been hit by anyone who wanted to hurt me. The very few bruises I got that I didn't cause myself were from rowdy games. I have never had any sort of serious illness. Worst I had to suffer was a throat infection. I have never experienced any traumatic experience. The only event that caused me any sort of pain and of which I feel I was responsible was my first girlfriend leaving me. I have not suffered any meaningful hardship during my 21 years of existence.

As such, I cannot do much other than bow down in respect, and do my best to prove as helpful and kind as I can to everyone I know or encounter, as no more than little me.

Know that you and RedEdge are admired by one more person as of today, whoever you are, wherever you live, whatever you do.

Also: go, go Riot Rangers!

rtbf2256182415/25/2018, 10:17:27 PM3 votes

Too bad you're not on EU. I'd love to play with someone like you who also keeps it real. I'm so tired of relationships in which people put facadés in front of their faces to appear cooler than they could be without them in exchange for genuine human interaction.

AJStarhiker5/25/2018, 10:49:13 PM3 votes

I'm glad you received that kind of response from a Rioter. If you want, send me an invite. I can't always guarantee when I can play or for how long, but even if you just want to shoot me a message to vent, I'll listen.

RacoonHunter5/25/2018, 11:36:08 PM3 votes

I guess I will leave my story. I've been playing this game for over 3 years now. I made it to gold 5 last year and I want to climb higher. I play this game to try and better myself, and because I like the game.. I'm married, with a stressful job where I get yelled at because people's Internets wont turn on. This is one of the games that I relax/get my anger out. I also have anger issues, and I'm an epileptic with depression issues.

As of late, the toxicity levels HAVE BEEN RISING.. where I'm finding myself more and more typing in stuff that WOULD get a normal person banned if riot did something, and then erasing it. Why? Because, and this happened in my last game, People like this gragas, spewed taunts, harassment etc at me from the other team, and when I muted him, every time he did his 2k you can't do anything about it damage (full ap with somehow double lichbane procs) he would spam his level 4 mastery at me, or an emote (side note, why not when you mute a player on the opposite team it hides those as well riot!)

To make matters worse, Things like Clash being promoted for people with honor 2 (im honor 1 because I got a chat restriction 3 months ago which im not proud of) honestly infuriates me. here I am, trying to be a better player, getting honored in 95% of my games, yet I can't play a game mode like that with buddies because of something 3 months ago with the worse thing I've said in chat over the past 3 months has been "enjoy your ban" before I /fullmute all (which riot I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DO) Look I get it riot is trying to promote a less toxic game, but they're going about it all wrong.

if you're asking WHY do I still play even tho I'm harassed at least 3-5 times a day is because the story keeps me back. I have my favorite champions (Jinx Jinx (just to say a few) and the games that aren't toxic, are enjoyable. Again I say it's sad that there's more toxic games than non these days.

I'm just hoping that riot will actually keep their promise of trying to lessen toxicity.. cause right now, in mine and most of the communities eyes.. they are failing miserably

Mt Targon 5/25/2018, 9:13:13 PM3 votes

Good job getting all of this out of your system ! Its important to free yourself from stress. Work on staying happy friend :)

Galgerahn5/25/2018, 1:44:27 PM3 votes

Tell me, guys. Do you guys come to league to escape for a while? I want to hear your stories. Tell your stories. Please. [sg-ahri-2]

Vyr Thirku5/25/2018, 3:34:09 PM3 votes

Got a long history of extreme mental/emotional abuse from an uncle between ages 4 to 15. Bullied in school for every reason under the book. Punched square in the face at least two dozen times by different people for different reasons, most of them being that I was the 'nerdy' kid that made you cool if you punched because kids are stupid. Fast forward to 20 years old and oh what's this? It's a neat game called League of Legends maybe I'll give that a try. Absolute shite at it for the better part of five years, but I finally get the hang of it and play at a halfway decent level and you know what I've learned? This community blows. Riot tries their bet to keep us happy and positive and ban the shitstains that take it upon themselves to make our lives a living hell int he most benignly toxic ways possible to confuse Riot's ban system (Such as idly farming the jungle all game participating in no team fights for 17 minutes or doing laps between top lane and bottom lane so they're technically not afk.) and you just feel so goddamn helpless when this stuff happens. Short of the VERY rare 'A player you reported was punished' box, there is no way to feel any impact on that person's ability to resume being toxic to potentially thousands of other people all because their parents didn't teach them to not be useless to society. ...even if that society is gaming.

Many people defend this behavior. "Just mute them" "It's just a game" "Play something else" but... why should I be punished for someone else's behavior? Why should I not be allowed to be competitive in a competitive environment? Why should I be told 'just stop playing a game you love to play if you can't handle being harassed every two seconds'? There's a meme; 'You're never too young to have a Vietnam flashback' but I don't even need to worry about 'nam 'cos I get abuse flashbacks. Every time 'kill yourself' or 'uninstall' or even some stupid shit like 'ggez' crosses that screen, I can't help but to feel an almost indescribable rage at just how absolutely CHILDISH people feel the need to be. There's this... disconnect. They don't realize there's a person, with feelings, ambitions, memories, and varying opinions which do not make them less of a person than anyone else.

I applaud RedEdge for standing as he did and reminding us that Riot isn't okay with this crap either, and I sincerely hope everyone who does this shit gets the tyler1 treatment. This is a team game which means you're going to have to have some semblance of communal skills and the ability to realize that you are not the most important person in a 30 minute match with 9 other people. Work TOGETHER, there's already 5 people on the enemy team. You don't need to add your team to that list.

HalcyonDweller5/25/2018, 6:13:30 PM3 votes

Inspiring story and a good suggestion. Damn dude, have my upvote. +1 I hope Riot considers implementing what you're suggesting, it would make such a huge difference for people!

LightSpeed2411/22/2018, 4:25:22 AM1 votes

Your the hero bro, you just came up with an absolute stunning idea for riot. I think it is a good plan and im sure most of the community does aswell. I was recently banned for being toxic to someone that called my the N word and i went straight to the live chat and also got REDEDGE. He told me to just mute them and report after like he said to u. probably the most simple but best idea ive heard. I really hope they take your concept into consideration

WatchYourHeadM85/26/2018, 2:27:21 PM1 votes

Gotta embrace the toxicity

Galgerahn5/27/2018, 5:10:13 AM1 votes

I know there are more of you out there like this. You stand up for yourself, and it turns you toxic, and then you just slowly spiral downwards, and get in trouble. Speak up. Let your voice be heard. RedEdge wasn't here today, but I have faith he will come. He will say "hi." I believe in him, as the only person I think I can ever call a 'hero' in my life.

ı Sona ı5/27/2018, 5:53:34 AM1 votes

Haha GunZ, that ol' thing! 🐆

I hope your day went well! 🐩

Ifneth5/27/2018, 7:44:39 AM1 votes

Awwwww. :)

Star Mule5/27/2018, 4:17:20 PM1 votes

[deleted]

Hayes5/28/2018, 12:00:21 AM1 votes

I know how it goes man, Anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, been there , still there now. I had Cancer 2 years ago, and had to go through 6 months of Chemo, wrecked my body, can't feel the lower half of my legs anymore. Can't walk right, and I stumble constantly.

League is the only thing I like, that gets me through the day. But i just got permabanned, because silly me actually GIVES A SHIT about winning. getting knocked down over and over and over again, due to feeders afkers and people who just refuse to play their role, just gets me REALLY pissed and I talk shit.

Nothing near as bad as what you went though, but apparently enough. So now my 1st account that I have had for 8 years is gone . All my skins, all the money just gone. Because Riot care more about the people wrecking games , then the people who get upset over it.

I really don't know what im going to do now, but I do know is the one dam thing I had that was fun for me , has been taken away. Maybe Riot can send flowers to my funeral.

Galgerahn5/31/2018, 1:11:04 AM1 votes

Anyone else got any comments? What do you think? Will this be a good idea?

VindicatorOFThey5/25/2018, 1:13:41 PM1 votes

and playing toxicly towards me.

How ?