I have heard that you can be banned for even just saying yep in a lobby.
That's a lie.
Sure enough I got a chat ban without insulting or degrading anyone did ask someone a few questions when they kept flaming me such as hey man can you go do dragon.
Firstly, if you got a chat restriction, there's a fairly high chance you did something you weren't supposed to do. My guess is, judging from the following statement, you got a chat restriction for negative attitude, more specifically, detrimental arguments with a flamer.
See, the two primary report categories for normal chat misbehavior are Negative Attitude and Verbal Abuse. Negative Attitude encompasses, as it implies, chat behavior and attitudes that serve to drag down team morale, such as detrimental arguing, defeatism, and passive-aggressive remarks.
Whereas Verbal Abuse constitutes direct attacks and insults against other players; flaming, insults, etc.
If you want to have your chat log peer reviewed to see what might have crossed the line, or whether or not the community would find it to have been a false-positive punishment, you're free to post the chat logs associated with the punishment, but do be aware that without said information, we can only go off of what you say, and we tend to take such incomplete information with a grain of salt.
I get told to feed and to shut up I'm thinking wouldn't that be bannable behavior?
Yes, intentionally feeding will get you banned.
Makes me wonder what exactly will get people banned...
You can find relevant information in the Terms of Use, Section 5, as well as in the Summoner's Code. Both detail the guidelines and rules that you agree to follow on account creation.
...because there are some questionable names I've seen yet they are still playing.
If you see someone with a screenname that you believe is offensive (or otherwise breaks the rule stated in Article XI of the Code of Conduct), you can report them after game.
Just bear in mind, the first punishment for such offensive screennames is typically not a mainline punishment; to my knowledge, the punishment tiers for offensive screennames are as follows;
- Forced Namechange
- 14-day Ban (And Stripping of Honor)
- Permanent Ban
And, of course, know that for the largest part, a person cannot be punished if nobody reports them. If you want action to be taken, then report the offending player so that the system knows to do so.
So what is considered bannable what is considered toxic since asking someone to do something in game is apparently toxic would just like an honest answer to that type of logic.
Asking someone to do something is neither toxic nor bannable; you'd have to have an incredibly poor way of wording things and a distinct lack of tact to merit a punishment for asking someone to do something.
Let me put it this way; needless negativity is punishable. Excessive negativity and belligerent disregard for the rules (continuous flaming, negativity, etc.) is toxic.
Then again a friend of mine says even asking how everyone is doing can be considered toxic...
Your friend is incorrect.
