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Help, My Friend is Toxic

Derpy Watermelon·10/10/2017, 9:35:20 PM·5 votes·2,032 views

Ok, so everyone gets mad in a game. It's only natural, but I have a friend (online friend I met in league) who literally flames anyone who feeds/does poorly.

So I was playing with my friend, and was trying out camille top. Nedless to say, I didnt do very well, and went 6/8 against Gnar. So my friend did opretty good as Ryze mid, and he started saying stuff in voice chat about how the game was my fault, I'm bad, I should uninstall etc. (we ended up losing that game)

He's said this stuff before, so I thought he was joking until he later actauly told me the game was my fault and I'm garbage, seriously. (we're both silver)

Well, I mainly play Riven (yeah i know toxic riven mains etc), so im not the best at Camille, so I mean i guess i deserve it.

What worries me is that later in voice chat i asked him if he ever fed before, and his response was long the lines of "I sometimes lose lane, but we never lose the game because of me. I just play safe and don't feed the enemy" I then asked him about a game where he went 2/8 on ryze, against a 10/3 annie. His response was "It's my team's fault, the annie roamed and got kills and got fed."

He's also gotten chat restrictions on his account before, so I'm assuming he also flames when I'm not in game.

He later told me that he even thought it was okay to flame and be toxic to someone who's feeding the enemy and losing the game, even if they were trying their best. And he genuinely believed that.

I want to get him to change, but he just tells me that I'm wrong and bad at the game when I tell him.

What do I tell him......

16 Comments

The Öutcast10/10/2017, 9:45:43 PM5 votes

Trust me when I say this. I've been there for a lot of my friends trying to make it through a lot of bad relationships (romantic and non), and I hate the I told you so talk, I hate the "you tried even though I knew what I was talking about and was trying to help you" talk. Just take my word on this, cut him out of your life, and don't try to justify him or his actions, set that standard and don't look back, you'll be happy you did.

Jo0o10/10/2017, 10:22:17 PM4 votes

Not a great friend.

People lose games, it happens. If he can't comprehend that phenomenon, he's not worth playing with.

The Öutcast10/10/2017, 9:37:34 PM3 votes

yeah, it's a bad relationship, part ways, you can tell him why if you want, but don't have anymore conversations, just leave him one message with all your thoughts and say it's better if you leave, and then block him on everything, because that behavior isn't ok in any way shape or form, it's abusive.

If you want someone to game with, hit me up, I'd be more than willing to play.

ACriticalThinker10/10/2017, 11:43:26 PM3 votes

He's not your friend if if he treats you as his scapegoat. Or rather a source for their blame. A punching bag if you will.. Anyways get rid of him if it's negatively affecting you. Simple. Done it before and will do it again.

Beas7ie10/10/2017, 11:45:35 PM3 votes

You tell him to piss off and then you unfriend him. Then look for people that aren't total assholes to be friends with.

Drugoth10/13/2017, 11:15:59 PM1 votes

If i was you, I'd tell him he's not my friend anymore. Ain't no friend going to talk to me like that.

Telephone Booth10/14/2017, 12:24:37 AM1 votes

Tell him "toxicity is against the rules and that's it. You can believe what you want, but be careful man, I don't want you getting banndd, for real. It's like the number 1 thing Riot bans people for"

If you want to change his opinions and outlooks on life in general, don't bother. You are not the arbiter of right and wrong. Obviously there are some egregious opinions that are shun-worthy (like if he's a Nazi or antifa or some shit) but it's just his views on toxicity and responsibility to be skilled in games. Let him have his beliefs, and decide if he's friend worthy or not based on his actions.

Personally, if a friend was that serious about this game and made it serious and personal like that, I wouldn't really talk to him anymore. I'd laugh at him and if he takes that okay, then yeah sure we could still play, but if he's super serious about a video game... I'd probably just call him a douche. I'd still play with him. But don't be afraid to stick up for yourself when he attacks you.

Just say shut up douche, you're in the same damn league as me. I don't even care if you're better, I can't believe you're serious about this. My friends are adults who would never talk like that though. They know how douchey that is, to get upset with eachother over a video game. This guy you're playing with sounds like a spoiled child who's never received any discipline in his life.

My one friend sucks at cuphead and we get frustrated with eachother, but we always laugh at our shitty fucking platforming skills. I can't imagine it turning into a real arguement... that's just so foreign to me. But we are sarcastic assholes, maybe you're not like that with your friends.

Rockem Sockm10/11/2017, 1:09:42 AM1 votes

He will never change. The only way you will improve at the game is to stop playing with him.

Nasuuna10/11/2017, 8:31:04 PM1 votes

yall can't touch my toxic friend

5 accounts permad

EcstasyGragon42010/13/2017, 11:13:07 PM1 votes

He is a child find new friends, let him rot he'll be banned soon

The Skull King10/10/2017, 10:36:02 PM1 votes

Oooh! How unfairrr the worrrld is! Here I am, a nice gentleman who just enjoys playing the game and having a good converrrsation, but no one to play with!

A dapperrr gent who has no league frrriends to play the game with, one who doesn't carrre forrr a person's rrrank or skill level and yet I can't make any league frrriends.

How sad to see such nice people adewwwesd by someone who doesn't see a good frrrriend just trrrying something newwww.

Oh the crrrruelty of such a cold and lonely worrrld!

http://www.freakingnews.com/pictures/29000/Nicolas-Sarkozy-the-French-Aristocrat-29032.jpg

ModKnightsKemplar10/10/2017, 10:46:18 PM1 votes

Cognitive bias is a tricky thing, but you aren't responsible for his behavior. It's something that, ultimately, he has to learn for himself. But, the best way to help is to not allow the dialogue to be equal. Just tell him that if he continues to act like that, you won't play with him. And then don't. Don't let him believe that you "just have different but equal opinions about this." It's not equal and opposite. He's wrong, and he's being a jerk.

No one deserves friends who treat them like dirt, and it sounds like your friend doesn't treat you that well, at least when you're playing League. If you don't have fun playing with that toxic attitude, it's your right to walk away, and I'd encourage you to do exactly that.

Sometimes, attaching a consequence to people helps them improve. If he sees that his behavior in an online video game is affecting his irl friendships, perhaps that will make him think about it and change his ways.