Boards›Player Behavior

Why "defending yourself" isn't worth it.

The Brometheus·4/13/2016, 7:23:57 AM·126 votes·7,162 views

We've all been there. Maybe its the jungler asking how you lost your lane after he gave your lane opponent double buffs. Maybe It's the mid lane demanding you learn how to jungle because it's 2:32 and "you should've ganked by now". Maybe it's the adc spam pinging missing on you because you didn't soraka ult him at level 4. Hell, nowadays with dyanmic queue, maybe it's a four-man premade that is sure that the only reason their bronze 5 buddy lost mid, is because Nasus doesn't have 800 stacks at 10 minutes.

Being blamed and flamed for things that aren't your fault sucks. It's totally rational to feel angry or defensive about it.

But you shouldn't flame back. You should just mute them.

Why? Because these people who are flaming you have already made it clear, that logic and reason is not their primary concern. They don't care what you have to say, they're just mad, and lashing out at the first target they see on the minimap.

IT DOES NOT MATTER IF YOU ARE IN THE RIGHT, BECAUSE THEY DO NOT CARE IF THEY ARE WRONG. Flaming back just makes you angrier, makes you waste time typing, and gives them an excuse to report you.

Muting them instantly removes any chance of them flaming you, makes your "report card" look super good in the eyes of the report bot, and lets you focus on the game.

You can defend your honor in the real world, where it matters. Don't waste your energy on morons with an internet connection.

102 Comments

skullzx74/13/2016, 2:38:59 PM31 votes

I hate how we have to walk on eggshells in league now, because if I'm getting flamed hard and even so much as say "stfu" or "stop typing and just play" I get a chat ban for "extensive toxicity" because they get their premade to report me when I was being told to kill myself, die of cancer, and Uninstall, but those guys get away scot free every time.

I miss tribunal.

bigtastybrocolli4/13/2016, 8:44:02 AM10 votes

More people should read this.

ingrid bergman4/13/2016, 10:16:39 PM7 votes

“Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.” -Some Person

Zacster4/13/2016, 2:04:02 PM4 votes

Make a TL;DR for the immature flamers. It's the only way they'll understand.

Only Play Darius4/13/2016, 4:22:59 PM3 votes

Back in high school I heard a joke relating internet arguments and the special olympics, but I'm not going to repeat it since it might offend some. The point is, arguing online with someone you will likely never meet again online, let alone in real life, is idiotic.

Strabane4/13/2016, 5:52:03 PM3 votes

"Eric, why didn't you turn that paper in on my desk on Friday?"

Walks away....fails class / gets fired.

Defending yourself is NEEDED in many cases. Sure this is a game, but that mentality ensures you don't take initiative for what you did wrong. Sure, I get angry at people when I play, and it's always because they actually DID fuck up. Asking Why and getting no response, or even better "Why not?" are legitimate questions. You think LCS teams get their asses kicked, go back to the gaming house and never ask eachother why so and so did what? Think they all mute eachother?

I think someone asking you WHY you did something brings attention and clarification too it. Usually when you accept you fucked up, and explain why you did it, it lowers the chances of you doing it again. I am not necessarily angry at the player, but I would like to see them get better and evolve. If they honestly don't understand or see what mistake they made, then maybe they actually do need to be called out so the team can correct them.

KrugLyfe4/13/2016, 12:14:47 PM3 votes

4 man premades aren't just mad those guys are jackasses to anyone outside the group every time i've had to be on a team with bastards like these if one of them makes a mistake it gets pinned on me I'm sick of premades i never want to see another one

Splashworks4/13/2016, 7:10:29 PM2 votes

So true thanks for this post.

Sarutobi4/13/2016, 9:19:43 AM2 votes

This should not only be sticky to the top page, but probably also on the Tips while loading up the game!

SpecterVonBaren4/13/2016, 2:03:10 PM2 votes

Anither thing is if you dont reply back then the situation doesnt perpetuate. Many times Ive seen a situation that would normally lead to a game long flame war just stop dead because the person being flamed didn't say anything. Sometimes someone just saying "our mid sucks" is enough for them and they won't flame anymore so long as they don't get a response.

56552559_DEL4/13/2016, 3:57:31 PM2 votes

I have to disagree to a point.

I do agree that arguing about it will just exacerbate the issue and more than likely get YOU reported because they may have a friend in the game taking their side or you may just have a troll agreeing with the other person.

However, you should at least defend yourself to a point so that way the team doesnt get only 1 side of the story. I always defend myself by explaining my side and if they keep trying to beat a dead horse, i just mute them since there is no sense in arguing with someone who just wants to flame.

Sometimes i get idiot teammates that side with the moron, and other times i get people who agree with me and tell the other guy to stfu. Its really a hit or miss, but you SHOULD explain your side of the story and if you see more flaming coming your way by either the flamer or others, then you SHOULD mute them.

Maximum Morde4/13/2016, 4:18:49 PM2 votes

In TX as long as I yell Oh My God he's coming right for me!, I can shoot first.

Ichabod Kong4/13/2016, 7:02:38 PM2 votes

I actually get amused when people lash out at me. I usually type "K." at them, and watch :3

AwesomeChad4/13/2016, 8:15:15 PM2 votes

Valid point however you can't let your feelings bottle up. Eventually, that'll cause not only health issues but it can be detrimental to your mental state and interactions with people in general. Yeah these interactions may happen online but guess what, you're still psychologically attached to the conflicts. A better thing to do is what the OP suggests BUT, you also need to realize that if you have negative emotions, you need to vent them out with alternative methods. Maybe channel that negative energy into a positive hobby or rant on forums/in a notepad/to a friend.

Fovere4/14/2016, 11:18:32 PM2 votes

No kidding.

Life isn't safe. People are mean. Especially people in groups.

This is a game accessible by people of all ages and types. I'd guess around 75% of the player base are still on the road to adulthood in some sense, with at least some growing up left to do.

The goal here should be striking a balance between enforcement and expression, while being realistic about who plays this game and how they are going to behave. The combination of Riot policies and matchmaking is basically saying that they expect you to eat up what is essentially online bullying from a lot of these premade groups, and do it with a smile, or else.

The argument that you wouldn't get in trouble if you didn't do something wrong simply doesn't hold water. Ask any patrol cop. Everyone breaks the law, probably a dozen times a day, without knowing it. Does everyone deserve to go to jail? No, of course not. There is a difference between what is technically bad, or wrong, and what is clearly damaging and needs to be handled.

However, the guy who has to drive by an officer's favorite strip twice a day is going to be a lot more likely to get tickets because he has more exposure to active duty law enforcement. Ditto for the guys getting thrown in with premade groups. The premade players are going to receive less reports, while the solo queuers receive more, and so their behave will be far more likely to come under scrutiny and eventually acted upon.

Just Blame Jenny4/15/2016, 3:25:09 AM2 votes

I agree for the most part, but I feel there are two occasions where it helps to defend:

  1. Defending yourself with calm reason can help to defuse situations where someone simply wasn't paying attention or privy to all of the information. "Why didn't you shield me, Janna?" "Sorry, but I'd used it on Vayne just previously, so it was still on cooldown."

Should they continue to argue, then definitely, mute them and move on. But discussing the matter can help keep everyone cool, and ensure everyone maintains mutual respect and trust for one another.

  1. Defending a teammate can help to prevent them from going on tilt. There've been many games where someone attacked another player for something that was either minor, or wasn't even their fault. Or heck, maybe it was a big mistake, but they'd been playing rather well otherwise.

By defending a teammate (e.g. "Hey, Elise may've missed that smite, but she was under a lot of pressure. We've still got this!"), you can help to keep them invested and on their game.

Anomander4/14/2016, 4:13:28 AM2 votes

"defending yourself" is muting to prevent further damage. "retaliating" is something completely different and most seem to confuse the two.

Fovere4/14/2016, 7:00:13 AM2 votes

{quoted}

"defending yourself" is muting to prevent further damage. "retaliating" is something completely different and most seem to confuse the two.

Muting is opting to ignore/leave a part of the game because of the potential for harm. Analogous to "walking away" - certainly not defending yourself.

Personally I opt for afking or d/cing. I get hit with leaverbuster regularly, but it beats out having your game trolled or being pulled into an argument.

Colgate Gator4/14/2016, 2:53:34 PM2 votes

Outside of the whole "being banned for fighting back" and blah blah blah, it's more of a "not worth my time" principle.

As soon as I see someone being aggro I just mute them and continue with my life, today won't be the day I let a salty random stranger try to unleash his chemical imbalances on me.

PePsiLemoNN4/14/2016, 5:59:40 PM2 votes

lashing out at the first target they see on the minimap.

*They have no minimap

IgnobleTempest4/14/2016, 12:45:55 AM1 votes

Ok, but what happens if you do mute the AND get reported the punished? Also "The punishmen system wont punish you if you mute them" line is either misinformation or an outright lie, as several people have been punished for ignoring/muting them. This current automated system is beyond flawed.

KragusIII8/2/2016, 11:28:42 PM1 votes

Very well said! Most people don't know that muting works both ways. Cheers.