A message to riot and the LoL community. I am sorry.
Hello everyone, this is Erik Emanuel. Or as most in the league of legends community know me... Legacy. I wanted to write a article that I hope people will take time out of their day to read and listen too. I apologize in advance for all the grammatical errors I am about to make. No im not banned or chat restricted. I have not gotten any warnings.
Lets start with a introduction, I have been a coach in the amateur challenger scene for 2 years. I have been a player of league of legends for 6 years. I have been a passionate fan of the esports scene, specifically the NA esports scene, for 7 years. Some of the teams that I have coached were Avalanche gaming, Mentality gaming, and Zenith esports. I am a combat medic in the US army national guard.
A large part of my life has been heavily invested into esports. Like a lot of people, I had hopes and dreams of becoming a pro one day. I always wanted to be that coach that brought North America a world championship title. Ive had a lot of goals but for the past 7 years that has been my life goal. I have put in hours upon hours a day in a 2 year time span just doing review after review of vod analysis. Research on at the time current metas. And research on coaching theory and theory of tactics and strategy. I failed. I did not even make it into the NACS. And regardless of whether I was right in my thoughts on the 1v9 dilemma or the psychology of players. I developed anger issues. Frustration built after not succeeding. I took to solo que to blow off some steam and do some more research and I failed at that elo too (high gold low plat.). I Failed. For 6 years I spent a lot of my time grinding and following the definition of insanity of doing the same thing expecting different results and I failed. I put career college and relationships on hold to pursue what was my dream at the time. I do not regret a single fucking second of it. I have learned valuable lessons on psychology, human interaction, drive, motivation to succeed, and success itself. I always thought very highly of my ability to impact peoples play and lives. But here is what I also have done in those past 6 years that not only I am not proud of. I am fucking ashamed of. I have bullied. I have told people to fuck off over mistakes. I have cussed out real life friends and taken out my frustration and anger of failing on them. I have belittled people for not caring. Not being as in tune with the meta or macro as they should have been. I can not count how many people I have taken my anger out on. IT IS NOT FUCKING RIGHT. IT IS NOT RIGHT AT ALL. I HAVE NEGATIVELY IMPACTED THESE PEOPLES LIVES. Maybe they had dreams like me that I ruined because of my own selfish views. it is certainly possibly my words have carried weight into peoples lives negatively. I can go on and on about the faults of being a straight fucking asshole online. The bottom line is I am so sorry. If you are one of the people reading this that I directly have affected I am so sorry. I want you to know that I know its not fucking right. and I wish I could take it back. If you are one of those people that have been affected by online bullies that were not me. I am sorry too. Its not right. I can tell you they are assholes and pieces of shit but I was one of them at times. Its not cool its not right it did not make me feel better. I am sorry. I make a vow to those who care I honor my vow. I acknowledge what I have done. enough is enough. it is time for change. It is time to be a better person. Not just a good one. The best fucking one I know how to be because I haven't done it. I have not treated most people fairly and im going to start. I may fall. But I hope to catch myself when I fall and realize the path does not involve putting others down.
To riot games. I am sorry to you as well. I have said probably not true things about how this game is a breeding ground for evil people. I have blamed a lot of my failures in life on you guys. You people had a vision. A desire to create a game that brought a community together. Brought friends and a place to create new friends. You had a passion for online gaming and I soiled it by saying those things. I am sorry. It is not your fault. I was looking for a scapegoat for my own actions in life. I am sorry.
Thank you all for reading.
If you made it to the end or even if you didn't, it means more than I can explain that you took time out of your day or night to read my apology. My actions have carried a heavy burden on my heart and its time for change. see you on the rift.
