I got perma banned right after my 2 week ban 3 years ago and would like some feedback on my case :)

Hey guys. first of all, I wanna say that I am aware that I deserved every ban I got for behavior at the time before my permaban. I am not saying that my behavior in my permaban case shouldn't have been punished, but there are a few details I would like to bring into context to see if you guys/riot think this case has any hope 3 years later.

An important thing to mention is that my account had just come out from a 14-day suspension when I got permabanned. This was during the time when the tribunal was down, and people were getting punished automatically through the report system (if you played league back then you remember). At the time there was no positive reinforcement for players to improve behavior like there is now, and at the time I wasn't very self aware of my toxicity. I will say however, that I never called anybody the N-word F-word or wished cancer on them or their family members etc... I did however act very toxic towards players in my team in many cases, of which of course I am not proud of as my older self, and also understand that replying to other people who were being a lot more toxic in the use of their language as direct insults as stated before does not justify mine. To be honest, I cringed when I read through my own chat log. Of course, I cannot justify my behavior through the many reasons that existed for why I acted this way, of which one was me being undiagnosed for ADHD at the time. Consequently, I was in a very bad time in my life as a young adult and used league as my escape, and sadly became more toxic the longer I played the game. Even though I'm thankful for the permaban as I quit the game for good, the ban itself didn't make me reflect or try to change. I never responded well to negative reinforcement, but deep down I was thankful I was finally untied from the addiction. About 6 months later I finally decided to go to get diagnosed for a learning disorder which I was already sure I had, and got help. Of course, dopamine deficiency isn't only a learning disorder, but also affects many aspects of your life and behavior. I didn't stop playing video games, but I did get my life together in more ways than one and also made a conscious effort to improve my behavior to become better at gaming. Even though it wasn't entirely for the right reasons, I always wanted to be better at video games because I saw in me a potential that was being held back by so many things. One of them of course was my behavior. As a player who was stuck in silver to high gold most of his league career, I didn't feel like a very accomplished gamer, and league and WoW were both the first video games I ever played. Part of it was my dopamine deficiency, and the another was my evolving toxicity. Soon after quitting league, I fell in love with Overwatch, and made it my goal to become really good at the game as I had failed in WoW arena and LoL. After the changes that took place in my life, I am proud to say that I got top 500 in Overwatch after 6 months of being a toxic gold league player. Needeless to say perhaps, a great part of that was the positive leadership I employed to guide and boost the morale of my team. I realized that all I ever cared about was winning and getting better, and that being toxic was only lowering my chances of that. Of course, untreated ADHD into adulthood made it extremely hard to able to change these behaviors as a young adult, even if I knew they existed. And yes, my treatment did help me focus better in-game as well, and I found myself not being impulsive with everything I did. I even went back to WoW and got Gladiator rank, where I used to be the equivalent of Gold in this game, and proved to myself that I could finally be good at video games. Now, I'm not saying my goal is to prove I can be that player in league, as I have other new goals in life I've set out to reach; however, I did recently play a few games on another account and realized the big part of my life this game had been part of. When I got permabanned 3 years ago, I didn't do anything to contest it. I never even checked my email to see what the logs were, I just quit. Now I at least want to try and do something if there is anything that can be done. I'm sorry if I rambled too long about my story.

So, back to the topic at hand. My account was perma-banned the day, or the day after it got lifted from a 14 day ban. Now, like I said before, this was when the tribunal was down and punishments were based on reports if I'm not wrong. I guess my first question is, is a permaban right after 14-day ban reasonable? If there is any hope for somebody to undo toxic habits it must surely require more than a few hours to expect that person to change. I am aware of some of the awesome improvements and incentives for player behavior Riot has implemented in recent years, and those things did not exist back then. I guess what I'm trying to say is, that if there was any hope for a toxic player to genuinely change with the lack of positive reinforcement that existed back then, is it realistic to expect them come back completely changed? I could probably answer that question and say, that negative reinforcement may solve the problem, but it won't fix the person. But I am glad to see the new systems being implemented in many games today that are really creating a more positive environment. The second thing I am going to address is the content of the what got me permabanned. I am gonna start off by saying I realize how toxic I was, and I don't intend to justify my actions by saying I was responding to other toxic players; however, I would like to know people's honest opinion on my chatlog. It was really negative and toxic, but I didn't use racism, homophobia or other extreme forms of insult in my opinion but I may be wrong to assume that is what should be necessary to require an instant permaban, literally right after my 14-day ban was lifted. So I'll post my chatlog below, so we can all cringe together. Of course, do take into consideration that more than one person was being toxic that entire game and I was responding to them.

Anyway thanks for reading my story, and let me know what you think in general about my case. I'm not expecting to get my account back really, but I did want to get this out there at least. Hopefully it helps somebody,

> Game 1 In-Game Almostx: sure Almostx: huehuehue Almostx: DESU Almostx: AIGATOU Almostx: wow Almostx: omg Almostx: ffs Almostx: tp bot Almostx: when Almostx: you see Almostx: them Almostx: pushing Almostx: no flash elise or braum Almostx: voli bot Almostx: tell us Almostx: dive Almostx: sivir Almostx: why did you leave agro Almostx: wtf Almostx: holy fck Almostx: u had Almostx: like 3 more shots Almostx: at least Almostx: you coudlve tak Almostx: didnt land your ult either Almostx: what Almostx: why Almostx: this zilean Almostx: come Almostx: mid Almostx: ? Almostx: k Almostx: ishg Almostx: sigh Almostx: ur 0-5 Almostx: please Almostx: stfu Almostx: one asssist Almostx: please Almostx: uninstall man Almostx: scrub Almostx: lmao Almostx: u funny Almostx: gonna get carried Almostx: at the end of the day you suck and i dont Almostx: muted now Almostx: ill kep her busy Almostx: puhs Almostx: zilean Almostx: why Almostx: are Almostx: you Almostx: never Almostx: there Almostx: to ult Almostx: your adc Almostx: wtf Almostx: all yo do is kite Almostx: one person around the map Almostx: i was with team Almostx: and out tank Almostx: yes Almostx: and poppy Almostx: u have to ult me Almostx: or we lose Almostx: that simple Almostx: k Almostx: have fun losing Almostx: gg Almostx: gonna go to bed Almostx: have fun guys Almostx: ok Almostx: ill stay Almostx: and not play to the team Almostx: then Almostx: same difference Almostx: i have Almostx: half our kills Almostx: pelase Almostx: gj Almostx: zilean Almostx: i push with you guys mid Almostx: sure Almostx: pretty sure zilean has only ulted himself Almostx: lmfo Almostx: lmao Almostx: so gg Almostx: wow Almostx: save him Almostx: have i talked? Almostx: you ulted me Almostx: but Almostx: no one else peeled Almostx: we have 3 tanks Almostx: and they are all going in alone Almostx: and not peeling >