Holy frost's psychological toxic awareness

Hello i hope you all read this it could one day save your life.

A little about me - i am a casual who plays aram and co-op bots. I am not level 30 yet but almost there.

Any ways toxicity. THis post is about the mechanics and sensitive analyzes of what goes on in your mind. It's not religious, but psychological and maybe considered spiritual (not sure the difference between spirituality and religion anymore these ways)

So here is my experience and maybe you can see "see with your mind or concentration" or relate the experience to your experience.

So whenever i get killed or lose a game - my Mind tends to be very angry like it doesn't like the experience. I used to not be able to control my anger. I know when someone says "gg ez" or something, i would want to verbally attack them or make them feel bad for "using the situation to make me feel pain".

Psychologically speaking - As i have continue to observe and analyze my mind getting angry - there has been an increased change in my self - almost like i am schizophrenic. I am in directly-aware (through sensitivity and will power) of my moods changing from normal to angry, and if i don't acknowledge that i need to resist my anger - it will Possess me and live through me and become me act through me. I know that sounds hard to understand but ANger is when are mental image of ourselves gets attack and hooks us or draws us in to reacting and hating. We become drunk or dream sleep state by anger. The emotion or thought is stronger than us, and feeds us energy to hate the other person. When we are angry, there is no "common sense" or "intelligence" because it is covered by anger. We say stupid things and should be forgiven. But sometimes (about 25% of human population) justify their anger or actions as if it unfair or normal or something. They are probably asleep 100% of their lives.

That is basically more or less the mechanics of toxicity. How do we stop it ? BY developing will power and sensitivity to your pain and being able to recognize the anger before it possesses you. This is my own personal experience so it may not work for everybody. But i can say that it "should" work for most people.

The paragraph called "Psychologically speaking" It contains pointers and examples to the experience that you can notice it in your self the moment it anger arises. Usually there is no gap between anger and "feeling angry". You just go from autopilot to full anger. Sometimes it's not even anger. Fear, or pain, is more of a better word. It feels like a feeling of insecurity pain that gets threatened by other people's triggers. I am finding that when i play games i can feel the anger trying to possess me and i have to resist it's energy.

I won't talk about religion, but i learned this phenomenon is normal in society. People get angry everywhere and have to grow in sensitive ability to observe their human experience indirectly from the experience itself. Also age will give you more will power to resist triggers that effect your mind.

Any ways that concludes my post about toxcity. If you take a lot of pain in life, it can open your sensitivity to human experience. But most of the time, the opposite happens and people become even more insane. Thanks for reading.