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I need some help regarding my problems with league!

Fr Yi Lo·4/22/2017, 11:03:56 PM·3 votes·777 views

Hello guys!Yes i know i typed a lot but i had too if you dont want to read it all you can skip to the Part B and if you want to understand me more you need to read both parts

i wanted to make this post from long ago but i was afraid of people missunderstanding my problem so i will try to explain what my problem is without missleading you into something else.

Part A So this is my story i started league in seasson 5 around march.I ended up bronze 1 in promos and demoted to b4 in a week.I wasnt good at the game so i started learning(watching streams,videos) that actually helped me a lot and i climbed all the way to silver 5 in a month playing blitz,amumu after getting silver i thought i was a god and my objective was finished

But shortly after that i thought hey i can achieve more if i improved so much by just watching videos and streams i can surely go higher if i focus more so i did and hey idk how but it worked i climbed to gold in just 2-3 moths that was smth very huge for me a beginner and when i got gold 5 that was the best feeling ever and there i realized i can get fricking platinium i started watching more and more streams focusing more into the game writing split pushing mechanics and everything in a paper where i would read them everytime untill i memorized them(forced knowledge) i also needed a champ that fits my playstyle i liked to carry,split,and 1v3 a lot and that was the day when i started one tricking yi and it doesent metter how much riot nerfs him or his items i will still play him im so connected with that champ it seems gay xD w/e

I started spamming yi every game and i finally got to platinium 2 days before the end of the seasson ii was feeling godlike untill i realized how bad the elo i was is and all the previous ones too i was like man this sucks what i thought that was an achivement felt like shit to me the day i got plat.The seasson ended and i started to watch more streams at that time.The new seasson started(6) and i got placed to silver 2(i wasnt that sad actually) and the devourer/guinsso was a new year gift for me a yi otp i started spamming yi even harder and wrecking everyone i had against that carried me to diamond and boy i felt so good i finally did it from silver 2-diamond 5 yay i slept in diam 5 because i thought it was over i started playing in new accounts getting them to platinium in a month like it was nothing i really improved but hey after finally improving so much here started my problems that followed me untill today. (i got banned and unbanned serveral times in different accounts not for flame but for suspicious acitivity (Rp fraud) and i got demoted in my accounts i solved this case with riot which i really thank a lot for helping me and unbanning me for something i didnt commit i still didnt get my diam/plat borders tho but its ok im happy with the accounts)

Part B As i said im a greedy person and when i start something i want to finish it.

After climbing so much and proving my self that i got good at the game because i carried 90% of my games i thought i would be satisfied but no no no no no i was wrong.My brain idk how it works but after getting there i wanted more...The seasson 6 ended and seasson 7 started i got depressed i thought devourer removed guinsso removed maw and steraks passive doesent stack anymore is this the end? i got carried by this items? im i actually a bad player and i won my games just because yi wasnt balanced?

Yi nerfs came patch after patch i thought hey this is the weakest position for yi its time to start greeding for diamond again who knows maybe if i get diamond with yi being so weak i can finally be satisfied.2 weeks...Thats how much time it took me to get diamond with yi i couldnt even imagine it i was actually outplaying not just rightclicking my calls was really decent one mistake and the game would be over i started to listen to my team and started to talk to them a lot do this do that,push bot so we get baron pressure push top so we can get this infernal and yeah i was happy that i finally mastered my knowledge to that point but hey it wasnt enought :/ i wasnt satisfied and im not satisfied every day i keep asking more from my self i need more games more wins to prove that im playing good in my games and im not a trash like the rest of the i autofill i troll guys out there everyday is a pain im about to start a ranked game i see the seconds turning into minutes my heart beats and i get depressed i sweat a looot what i do? i cancel the queue i see the play button i just cant see it i log off and i start watching a movie or play another game.

After some time i think again about league...should i start a game i cant prove my self that im good if i dont play i should log in and play...i log in open league start queue same thing again my heart beats i get stressed boom the afk check appears what do i do? i decline im not ready im afraid i will losse this next one and i will need 2 more wins to get where i wanted and if i losse the next one too i will need 3 wins in a row to get where i wanted what if i dont get a winstreak..

This shitt comes into my mind everytime im logged in and i HATE IT im pissed with it idk whats happening with me i feel like i need to consult with someone but i dont know if i really have too.Every game is the same a pain in the a** for my brain and for my heart time passes and i still think about the game i shouldve started but i declined idk whats happening with me im getting depressed over a game im asking a lot from my self i know i will never get satisfied untill i reach master tier solo q and chall flex smth that im aiming right now...i know i can get it the flex one is 2 easy for me but i just cant play a lot of games because of this problem...I cant play more than 3 games a day its so hard.Games are supossed to be fun but i think league is killing me :/ or maybe my brain is combined with how ranked works.

If someone had this before and can tell me a possible soulution i would really appricate it.Thanks for reading!

5 Comments

PlsCheckThisBush4/22/2017, 11:42:16 PM2 votes

What you're (likely) experiencing is known as Anxiety. In League of Legends, lots of people have Ranked Anxiety - that feeling when your heart beats faster, palms are sweaty, and your mind races with thoughts of "what could happen" rather than focusing on what is actually going on. Your body is releasing a ton of Adrenaline in the "fight or flight" response - something we've evolved with over time as humans to protect ourselves in stressful situations. More often than not, it's not required in every day life as our social structure provides an incredibly safe and harm-free lifestyle where we aren't fleeing from predators or hunting food, however it's something that is still in our brain and will come out at times. There's a ton of therapists that specialize in this as well as medication to help with underlying chemical imbalances, but at the end of the day it's how you process the thoughts that will help you the most.

Most often, it's our fear of failure that tends to hold us back the most. If you're always focused on "I MUST CARRY THIS GAME" then you will often fall short, as it's a team game and there are 4 other players in the game with you that all have the same potential based on your MMR. With what you mentioned, it seems that you're very intent on picking "OP builds" which is absolutely fine - it's how a lot of us climb. The old Sated Devourer 1v9 Master Yi (along with Xin Zhao and others that abused this item) are long gone and likely won't be coming back as it was a major hinderance to the team having someone basically AFK-Farm until they are strong enough to "carry" the game on their own.

What a lot of people find to "take the edge off" in League is to create a smurf - an account that you simply don't care what happens on - win or lose, just try to improve. Although you still try to win, your "main" isn't affected by any games played on the other account, and your mind is often freed up to focus on other things in the game; which will further help you climb on your main and maintain a cool head. Remember to only try to focus on what you could have done to improve (I noticed in your OP.GG you don't have a lot of Control Wards [Pinks] or regular Wards placed, and this is something small you can try to make yourself aware of and work on every game) - some games are unwinnable and some teammates are not up to par with your skills, and this is something you'll have to compensate for. Do your best to remain calm - the sweating and heart racing is a completely normal response to extreme stress. Try to watch a YouTube video or get up from the chair and walk around. Do anything to get your mind off of the game at that point in time. A lot of people find comfort in food - although this can become a problem with "stress-eating," you can make healthy decisions and eat something like green beans, a banana, or some form of a healthy snack that isn't too rich in Calories. If you tend to gain weight from doing so or healthy options simply aren't available to you, I strongly advise against this as the weight gain will only compound the issues and affect your personal confidence and self-esteem.

I wish you the best of luck in this endeavor, if you've got the resources I'd highly recommend talking to a Psychologist and having them refer you to a Psychiatrist if needed. A Psychologist will help you process your thoughts and deal with different ways of thinking, while a Psychiatrist specializes in chemical imbalances and can prescribe medication if they see fit. There's no shame in seeking help if necessary - it takes a lot of courage to ask for help when you need it. As always, do your best to only focus on yourself and what you can do to improve. Try not to worry about what could happen and make the most out of what you've been given - you're definitely a talented player being able to achieve a high ranking in a short period of time, and there's no doubt in my mind that you can easily climb higher and achieve your goals!

I am Pacman4/22/2017, 11:20:33 PM1 votes

Fucking hell, put those in to paragraphs if you want anyone to read them

Skimmed a little, gist of it is that you keep moving the goalposts that gauge how "good" you are. You considered diamond good and now that you have it you don't know wtf to consider good or how to gauge your skill level and it leads to you thinking yourself as trash and unable to play.

Honestly though I'm still struggling to see the problem here. Almost everyone who gets to diamond does it by one tricking or having a small group of champions. Then they branch out and slowly learn more and add more to their roster. Just add another champion to your pool? Or why not just set the next goalpost to diamond 3? or further to masters?

76273764DEL14/23/2017, 2:40:02 AM1 votes

ok