Permabanned after retaliating for being flamed and trolled by my premade

Hello everyone.

I'm starting this thread to vent out about what happened to me around a week ago, cuz I know it wont change riot's decision about my permaban.

Alright so... I was doing normals with this person in my friendslist; he wanted duo with me as I'm main support so he played adc. The first game we played that day, he asked me "do you have rakan?" to which I replied with yes and I played Rakan for his sake just cuz he wanted to play xayah. Normally, I dont play supports like rakan who deal no damage as im in elo hell and cant climb out of it (support life... too team reliant....) even though my plat and diamond friends told me I dont play like a b3 and I could reach high silver/low gold by the end of the season... therefoooore my go to options are: lux, morgana, karma, zyra (obviously full ap unless I see the adc is actually good). Anyway. We won that first game, I had 0 kills and like 2-3 deaths and several assists. The team was doing okay, we got carried by a really fed Ahri and Evelynn. My adc only had 2 kills. Next game, i selected lux in champ select. He told me not to play lux to which i responded with no. (I mean who are u to tell me what not to play especially when im genuinely trying to win therefore picking dark harvest lux as support?) Forgot to mention that some rando just came into the lobby (didn't know him, assumed it was my pre's friend) before this game. The whole game this rando was feeding his ass out, then his laner game to gank us in bot so i scolded him by saying "nice feed mid and 0 ss". Aaand from there it went downhill, as he started being super toxic and accusing me for his poor performance and saying im the one inting (i was 6/4/6 he was 3/9/4). Basically im trying my best to win and that's why i picked this champ as i have carry potential with it, but i cant do anything even if my lane is doing ok but the other 2 are lost. So of course i got pissed off for being flamed and being called an inter and called him "trash" and told him "you suck"... (yea yea i retaliated [slayer-jinx-unamused] ). Apparently he reported me.

Third and last game before i got permabanned... i kicked out that rando because he tilted me so much. Started a new game, my initial premade was begging me again to not play lux to which i responded with "no no no" and locked in lux. He was constantly complaining about something and i just told him if he complains again i disconnect. (Support mains, y'all know the struggle when youre being sh.t on by the carry even though its their mistake but they dont wanna admit it*[cass-cry]*) The other 3 in my team were premades i assume since they all spoke the same language to each other (Spanish) and seemed very solidary against me. The midlaner starts to flame me for not pinging ss (which i did but hey why look in the chat or pay attention to your map... the easiest solution for everything : blame the support). I told him i pinged ss and to check the chat. He died again. And again. He ended up with some kills too even though he died a lot. On the other hand, our zac was 5/13 and flamed me as well for not saving him after he just Q'ed into all 5 enemies and died. My pre as well was complaining how i "ks" him all the time with lux (even though when i had 0 kills with rakan he didn't manage to kill more than twice) so he told me something like "if u play to ks the adc then you shouldn't be playing at all". To which i got mad after all the flaming coming from everyone and said to my premade "you're a mad fuck because i get to kill. you want me to play a shit ass support so that i cant kill cuz you want to kill but you cant carry, bro you suck fuck off". (yeah very toxic of me i know but i had enough). i tried to keep calm the whole time but i lost it even when my pre was trolling and flaming me. I mean honestly now, who wouldn't get pissed off by having the whole team flaming them while theyre doing decently (i ended up 5/5/7)? So throughout this hell of a last game i got tilted and said other bad words such as "shut the fuck up" and "trash". I got reported by those 3. I got permabanned as i previously received a 14day suspension (well deserved bcs i flamed a noob who had 0 clue of how their champion worked and we both ended up dying, unlike this time... not very well deserved). Before the permaban message popped up, i got a private message from that premade who said "dont get mad at me, i was just messing with you".

???? what the...?

what would yall do in this situation? I mean i get it i shouldn't have said all those things but my harshest insult wasn't even directed at a person, it was directed at a champion(rakan). And just cuz i didn't save them with the price of my life i got flamed and reported. And even if i saved them with the price of my life, id be called an inter, which i already got called anyway. I get flamed and trolled and then reported for standing up for myself. Im not an inherently toxic person. Its not like i purposely go and ruin people's games. I always try my best. I dont flame out of nowhere especially after i got that 14 day suspension. I mean i understood what i did was bad. Those people are still out there playing, i checked their profiles on op.gg... and their lame trolling cost me my account :/

I submitted a ticket to support without much success, i was told it's a legitimate ban so it cant be lifted since i said bad words in the chat. Im sad about losing the progress and the skins... had 3 skins on morgana, 3 on sona (2 were legacy) and another legacy skin on lux... i made another account but its not the same. i enjoyed playing cuz of those skins. Now its meh... i only play aram and sometimes normals with my roommate. Im not using the chat at all, i learned my lesson but now its too late i guess. I only realized how valuable that account was to me after i have it no more. Im not going to invest that much time and money in this new account and ill most probably quit as i have to go to back to uni in September unless i have my old account back (highly unlikely). It takes too long to start from scratch and besides, i wanna be sure im not losing my effort again even though im instantly muting anyone who talks too much just to be sure i end up tilt proof by the end of the game.

I got eliminated form the community but those who are actually toxic are still active... very nice, what can i say?

thanks for reading my novel, whoever managed to get this far. And i'd like to hear some thoughts. But enough with citing the rules and telling me i shouldn't have responded. Im not a brainless monkey or some buddhist monk to not say a word after they spew venom at me. Those who say "you should've ignored blah blah blah" would you stay zen all the time no matter whats going on? i doubt it. Im 20, not a silly kid who just spams pings and insults in chat for no reason then ragequits. Im not tyler1 or whatever. Im not asking for help to reform. I got caught in those particular games in this particular situation when they were all flaming me, i dont say bad stuff for no reason. I never wished cancer upon anyone or told them to go kill themselves, nor have i ever made any sexist/racist etc remark, yet here i am... same punishment as those who actually dare to say such things. :( anyone going through the same stuff? i lost my hope tbh. I know the account is lost. Sorry if this is too long :(

Cheers.