An Open Letter To League of Legends Players

IIVIIac·12/22/2015, 3:40:46 AM·197 votes·10,988 views

I want to preface this by saying that if you are easily upset you should be wary of reading this post.

I sat down today to play a normal draft pick at the end of the day, like I always do. Halfway through my game, a most horrible and unthinkable tragedy befell my family. For 10 years, my grandfather with Alzheimer's has lived with us and we have cared for him and his every need in order to make what would be his last days his most comfortable. About 5 minutes into the game, I heard pained cries from my mother downstairs. I instantly knew what had happened. We have been fearing this day for awhile now, but never did I imagine it would happen in the midst of one of my most favorite games.

I did the only thing a reasonable person would do and explain to everyone in the game why I was performing so poorly. I wanted to go console the rest of my family and be with them, but my mother vehemently denied that I should go downstairs and see the dead body of my own grandfather. I did my best in the game, in spite of the circumstances, and all I wanted to do was quit, but the game was the only thing keeping me from tearing my way downstairs in spite of my mother.

The reaction my teammates had was absolutely disgusting. My team started joking that they had been the ones to kill my grandfather, and even going so far as to make sexual remarks about one of the most important people in the world to me, who was lying dead in a bed downstairs.

Reporting them was completely forgotten, however, as I ran downstairs immediately following the game to be with my family.

The purpose of this story is to bring to attention that though you are not fully accountable for everything you may say or do online, the repercussions can do far more than just put someone on tilt. I encourage anyone who reads this post to remember that the people on the other side of your connection aren't bots or soulless league playing machines, they are real people with active emotions.

I would also request that Riot, if possible, help me with an attempt to report these people whose words were so poisonous, so abominable, that it made me never want to play League with the community again.

The names of the players in question are not posted here as name shaming them would be immoral and against ToS.

235 Comments

darkmatchwaldo12/22/2015, 3:55:17 AM98 votes

I'm really sorry to hear that man. People in this game are pretty awful.

elduris12/22/2015, 4:31:59 AM55 votes

My deepest sympathies. It can be heartbreaking to read some of the stuff that people say behind a computer monitor. I know it's a tired expression, but the best thing you can do in this situation is mute them and report after. Personally, I would have said screw it and go downstairs to be with family. LeaverBuster has leniency for situations just like this.

As someone who also has a grandfather with Alzheimer's, I know it can be really hard sometimes. People with dementia can suffer in ways that people without it will never fully understand. I know it's painful losing a loved one, but at least you can rest assured that he is not suffering anymore. If you need someone to chat with, feel free to add me.

Heretic Lunari12/22/2015, 5:30:26 AM31 votes

May Garen bring them to Justice.

Mama Soraka12/22/2015, 4:19:35 AM23 votes

If the game is still in your match history you can open a support ticket with a link to the web history page and state which of the players were involved. Its unconventional but if you explain how you didn't have the time to report the players I imagine you'll at least get a response.

I had to do the same thing a few years ago when someone in post game was threatening to hunt down and kill one of my teammates because back then post-game chat wasn't recorded and submitted to the tribunal for review and the support tech I was assigned to was very understanding. My experience has been that Riot is very good about handling this sort of abuse professionally, so give it a shot.

Strapping12/22/2015, 8:22:08 AM20 votes

Hey everyone, I'm the OP's older brother and helped him draft the post. I just want to say how grateful I am for your kind words. The wound of my grandfather's passing is still fresh and when I heard some of the things some folks on his team said about it I was both disturbed and saddened by how far people will go for a joke.

While we aren't necessarily looking for sympathy we would like you to remember that your words, spoken or written, can have real consequences. I can only hope that these people get a punishment fitting for what they said, at least to the extent that they think about what they've said in retrospect. Furthermore, we aren't asking for a witch hunt, only to raise awareness that these sort of remarks happen all the time, and while someone reading this might not take it seriously even after seeing what we have to say, I would ask that such people imagine themselves in a similar situation.

In almost any other venue, the remarks they made would get them fired/expelled/ousted in some way. I'm not asking for complete perfection, but a line was certainly crossed.

Lurkkin12/22/2015, 7:03:26 AM13 votes

My deepest sympathy goes out to you and your family. I recently lost my grandfather to Alzheimer's as well, it's a terrible disease and one of the hardest diseases to lose a family member to. As someone who tilts easily I still am in disbelief as to how players of this game treat others the way they do. As a silver player it is common to see people who feed very hard, however at the end of day League is a game and I would never take out my frustration on a player in game. It's sad to see kids get so angry at a teammate especially after you explained the situation to them, I often skype with friends while playing so I can complain to them instead of taking out my feelings on someone I don't know as you never know what someone could be going through. My prayers go out to you as you deal with everything you are going through. Just know the community as a whole supports you and these players who flamed you are insignificant and immature. I hope Riot does all they can to ban these players.

Trídent12/22/2015, 5:33:55 AM8 votes

Sorry for your loss, I wish you joy and a fast recovery. :( As what for your teammates did... absolutely appalling and disgusting. It's crazy how people will act because they are behind screens.

M15TAH JAY12/22/2015, 5:01:17 AM7 votes

Sorry for your loss. I wish this community wasn't so toxic all the time. Ik alot aren't but there's still quite a few out there. Hopefully it doesn't turn into another modern warfare type community.

rtbf20610590512/22/2015, 12:30:28 PM6 votes

Sorry for your Grandfather. May his soul rest in peace.

As for the players, you were extremely unlucky to get them. They were propably below 14 and had no moral standing nor a good eduation apparently. The League community is nothing like that most of the time, and they are sure as hell not representing us.

PIMPSMOOTH12/22/2015, 5:07:26 AM6 votes

Sorry for your loss, that's heart breaking.

Melledoneus12/22/2015, 8:03:22 AM6 votes

People in this game do not know when to stop joking around. There is a line that should not be crossed, and the fact that you are looking at text on a screen means that there are many who are willing to cross that line. I don't know who exactly these people were or if they ever experienced an untimely tragedy like yours, but there is absolutely no excuse to make such terrible remarks such as that.

I can kind of relate, having to deal with the death of a kind grandfather of my own at a young age... I miss you pappa...

Also, I wish you my deepest and most sincere condolences about your grandfather. If you ever want to play a chill game with a Bronzie like me or need someone to help get away from all the melancholic feelings... feel free to add me on LoL. Username is Melledoneus.

S H A Y C 012/22/2015, 6:20:39 PM6 votes

This is precisely the reason i fill out the "help us improve" questionnaire the way i do.

Q.)Would you recommend league to a friend? A.)Hell no.

Strongly agree or disagree

Q.)The league community is a big part of why i play. A.)strongly disagree

Q.)I am proud to be a part of the league community

A.)Is this a joke?

Q.)Why did you answer the way you did?

Refer to original post...would you recommend this shit to people YOU care about? not likely.

O8CwnL6ujq12/23/2015, 12:07:19 AM5 votes

Isn't it weird Riot claims such a low % of players are toxic/abusive and yet almost every game I have ever played has something like this happen? There is always report x for y, then hate speech and trolly remarks or actions to try and get you to bite and break teh summoners code... Its why I play the game solely for lols now. I mute everyone and do my own thing, win or lose on my smurf(low lvl).

Anyways, sorry for your experience.

Lazlow12/22/2015, 8:02:31 AM4 votes

Sorry to hear that.

Online games tend to get flooded by the angsty 13 - 17 year olds that are on christmas break.

That being said it might be a good idea to only talk about personal things with people you know. You never know what you'll get with people on the internet espcially this LoL community.

Call A Dr12/22/2015, 1:04:13 PM3 votes

I have succumb to turn all chat off, and then just prefer not to speak to the team, even if they are friendly, because a lot of the time, they will start of friends, but the moment you make a mistake, you're a noob, you dont deserve to be in your elo etc.

Then I get reported for refusing to communicate

So if I did reply and communicated, I would get reported for verbal abuse.

DJColdCutz12/22/2015, 3:19:45 PM3 votes

I'll save you the time of sending in a ticket and waiting for a response.

"Hello Storm of Boners,

We will investigate your report and take any actions we feel are necessary. Please keep in mind; we cannot disclose any disciplinary actions that may be taken due to privacy reasons.

Even if you were unable to use the report feature, please continue to use our in-game reporting system whenever you can. Reports you make provide us with valuable tracking information and help to escalate players to our attention for investigation. Each report brings violators of the Summoner's Code one step closer to restricted chat or suspension by our investigative audits.

Thank you for your patience and for taking time out of your day to send us this report. It is our goal to continue working towards making experiences on the Fields of Justice fair and fun for all Summoners!

Please let me know if you have any additional feedback or concerns.

Paid2CopyPasta Crazy OP Champ rito games"

CarameI Frappe12/22/2015, 5:57:56 PM3 votes

You have my sympathy OP ... that is a very sad, tragic tale man. I don't understand how people can act so disgusting- perhaps they thought you were lying (what are the odds of someone having a relative that passed away that very day being in the same house) but even still, I wouldn't go out of my way to be so uncivil.

You deserved better than that, and I am again very sorry as to how the community reacted to your time of despair. I hope for the best and if you ever need to talk mate, hit me up. I, along with the community that cares- will be here for you.

iateurdoughnut12/24/2015, 10:18:06 PM3 votes

My deepest condolences.

About 2 years ago, my grandfather passed away from a serious case of dementia and Alzheimer's. I happened to be in a game and I afked till my parents told me to go back upstairs (I was 15 then).

When I came back and explained it to my teammates, well I got similar reactions and it was very hard to read such remarks while maintaining my calm.

It's the anonymity of sitting behind a computer screen from god knows where in the world that makes people feel like they have the power to say whatever they want.

They seem to forget that they are speaking to another human being on the other side of the screen.

I don't see the point of a report button for such people. Human beings shouldn't even THINK about acting that way and I often wonder goes on in their heads.

People with dementia suffer in ways we can scarcely imagine. Losing a loved one is very painful. But rest assured knowing that your grandfather no longer suffers. He's found peace.

I know it is hard to move on, but stay strong. If you'd like, I'm sure any of us would be glad to talk with you.

droolingsky12/22/2015, 6:40:56 PM3 votes

TBH if someone said that their granpa is dead downstairs while they play, i would think they are joking too.

Who Fed Ahri12/22/2015, 8:46:49 AM3 votes

I am very sorry for your loss. May he find peace. The community can be very toxic, or pretty much the internet as a whole. It saddens me to see such people act the way they do

ModKnightsKemplar12/22/2015, 5:37:15 AM3 votes

I hope you have found some peace since then... Sorry about your grandfather, and I hope Riot helps.

I would add that you might consider submitting an actual ticket. This seems like the right choice in this case. Boards post is likely to go unnoticed. Ticket will get read.

Xilixer12/23/2015, 9:15:34 AM3 votes

in this instance i could care less about name shaming and how immoral it is. id rather see them face the crowd.

Maninthemoon12/23/2015, 6:01:19 AM2 votes

As someone who lost both their grandparents I am sry for what happened to you hope those toxic players get punished. You have my condolescence.

Kerchner1212/22/2015, 7:03:47 PM2 votes

So sorry to hear that, man..

tbh though, this isn't really an open letter. js

Sir Rethor12/23/2015, 9:52:59 AM2 votes

I recently lost my grandfather as well you have my condolences

Auroramancer12/22/2015, 7:37:48 PM2 votes

Deepest condolences friend.

I had a similar experience with the playerbase. My father had congestive heart failure and was in at-home hospice. He would sleep for upwards to 14 hours a day, and I was off of work so I could be at home to be there for him whenever he needed my help with his catheter bag or getting into his walker. But I'd play games of League to bridge the gaps of time that he was awake.

There would be a few instances when I'd be in a game and he'd need my help getting out of bed, so I'd quickly type in chat "brb my dad needs help". 5 minutes or so later, I'd come back to a chat where my entire team is flaming me, saying that I'm useless, telling the enemy team in all chat that I rage quit the game, etc.

People in this game can be so awful

Von Kaiser12/23/2015, 2:46:08 AM1 votes

I mean, you tell a bunch of anonymous people who are already annoyed at you, sensitive personal information, and then you're surprised that they dig in to you. I know the whole "welcome to the internet, let me be your guide" thing has been a bit overdone but, really?