Why do people get upset?

Phoenixdust·8/16/2018, 11:18:54 AM·4 votes·2,908 views

Hello everyone!

I see a lot of threads about flaming and how bad it is for the game, yet i can not understand how and why?

Let's take an usual example, you start a game, and play like shit, ruining the game for your teammates. You are getting flamed and somebody drops a "kys" on you. Do you really care about it? Will you really commit suicide just because a random stranger on the internet wrote it who doesnt even know you? Will you feel bad because a random asshole told you to kys?

What effect does it have on you? Because from my experience, when i got flamed, i just didnt give a shit about it, not even muting the guy. So i can not understand how can it affect anybody?

Do you mind sharing your stories, how a random stranger's word hurt your soul, since i lack any kind of this experience.

Thanks!

83 Comments

Leyruh8/16/2018, 1:08:20 PM7 votes

"For one, if your mental issues are causing you to be abusive to others that's not riots fault to fix" - totally true, but i would not call telling kys once or even spamming kys abusive, the limit is waaay higher for me to call something abusive...

Telling somebody to kill themselves is the worst thing you could ever say to another human being.

If somebody would tell me "kys" in chat, I honestly wouldn't get hurt. However, that will bother me on a moral level.

Not every player is indifferent to trashtalk. Some are sensitive and will take insults to heart.

Furthermore, when is telling someone to end their lives trashtalking? Trashtalking is getting your opponents to tilt.

Go ahead, call them bad. That's on you.

Insulting someone for who they are or telling them to kill themselves is a whole different matter.

I know most, if not all players who say "kys" don't really mean it. So what? Does it erase the fact that you've just said to someone else to harm themselves?

Just think for a second. What if you said that to someone who just wanted to have some fun playing League and already is mentally exhausted?

You just don't say that. In fact, you should never say those words to another human being, even if they are litteral human garbage.

Why? Because you need to respect others. Be decent. No need for you to be overly positive. Just behave like you would in front of strangers.

Do you tell strangers to kill themselves? Do you tell strangers they're worthless human beings? Do you tell strangers they're trash?

No, you don't.

Just because it's a videogame and it's the internet doesn't make it right to normalize trashtalking and stuff like "kys".

If it's innocent banter, sure. If you and the ones trashtalking are on the same page, do whatever you want, as long as you're not harming anyone.

Quiet Dude8/16/2018, 11:45:08 AM6 votes

I report poor behavior. People who practice poor behavior get punished.

But does it personally offend me when they say these things? No. I’m an adult and I’m past words hurting my feelings.

But I still believe people are responsible for their actions and if you are going act like a petulant child, I’ll throw a report into the pile to make sure you’re treated like one.

But tbh I could care less what people say to me. I just like treating people how they want to be treated. Seeing that “your report has lead to action against this player” is an added bonus for the omegalulz.

Don’t need to clap back at someone for flaming others when I can roast their whole account instead.

usul12028/16/2018, 11:56:30 AM3 votes

Personally, I couldn't care less if someone tells me to kys. My former roommate told me it daily since I like bad puns. But I know that's not the case for everyone. At a former job I got moved around a lot, and ended up working with a nice guy we'll call Jim. Quiet guy, made small jokes, mostly just kept his head down and worked. I probably spent more time with him than anyone except his family and assistant in the week before he committed suicide, and was definitely in the last 5 people to talk to him. 0 clue in the slightest that he was considering it.

There's a reasonable chance that, with some words, I could have stopped it, but I had no idea. It's hard to know. So simply for that, I'm seriously against saying kys to strangers. Because some people are at that limit and come here to unwind. It may be a very small portion of the player base, but in a game this big, it's going to happen.

TL,DR: don't care if directed at me, but don't like it directed at strangers after a mentor committed suicide out of nowhere.

Baka Red8/17/2018, 8:35:26 AM2 votes

Your subject asks: Why do people get upset? The simple answer is: Because we are human. It is natural for humans to get upset at things.

On personal level I too am a human (as far as I know) and as I said, it is natural for human to get upset by things like insults. In my case (and most other humans) insults directed at me will usually make me play worse (not much, but worse anyways). Therefore my response to insults is: Mute, play to the end as well as I still can, report the insulting player, attempt to forget it happened. And no, I won't go and kill myself, but someone might - people are different. However insults do affect humans emotionally - you can claim you haven't been affected, but you have (or you aren't a human). You might be affected only a little, but you and the match are still affected.

And the effect on the team is at the very minimal level is waste of time. The person throwing the insult is wasting both his own time and the time of his team. The insulter wastes time in throwing the insult, the people detecting the insult waste at least the time they take in detecting the insult at minimum (if they detect it at all). Often the team mates has to waste even more time in the muting process of the insulting player (or some choose poorly and waste even more time and respond to the insulting player). This wasted time reduces the team's chances of victory and since I like to win, that annoys me and that in turn results in the report that I throw at the insulting player at the end of the game lobby.

You ask for stories, but you won't get one from me since you see enough stories if you browse these boards a little. Many of the stories at Player Behavior boards tell a story about lacking self-discipline, which isn't fortunately my personal problems - at least not at a level that will get me punished. Someone else might be punished thanks to that though and some have been punished in the past.

BoringLittleF8/16/2018, 1:31:38 PM1 votes

When I started playing League, I did a lot of mistakes because it was the first MOBA game for me and my first encounter with builds and stuff. I had a hard time enough and my teammates did not make it any easier. It was way before players were granted a champ starter pack, so I had to pick from free to play champion rotation, which meant getting used to each champ.

felt bad enough for making mistakes and tired to stick the to teammates to avoid more mistakes, but my team took an extra mile to rub the salt in the wounds and even encourage the enemy to kill me.

And no, saying "first time /insert champ name/" wasn't good enough for them. That resulted in making more mistakes because I desperately wanted to fix the situation and make my team stop being angry with me, but they didn't want me to fix anything, they wanted a scapegoat.

Their flaming didn't help me. It was the set of champs I grew to like, that made me think that like Hell I would stop playing.

I learned to stop apologizing. I learned that teammates are not automatically right just because they've been in the game longer or type in caps. I stopped communicating aside from pings.

It's not about moral high ground. It's because since that time I've attained a deep disdain of every player I come into contact with: and when they prove that this disdain is well-deserved, I hit the report button. Fuck. Them. All.

DearPear8/16/2018, 3:09:59 PM1 votes

Everyone is responsible for their own emotions, thoughts and reactions. But the offender is guilty of his offense. The system punishes guilt, no matter how responsible people are on the other end of the flaming.