To all the “KYS-ERS”

Words matter. They do. The summer before my senior year, I reconnected with an old childhood friend. It was good to see him after years. We decided to go out one night and it was pretty cool, getting acquainted again. I don’t recall what we talked about, but I’m sure girls came up, over all it was a great night and It felt quite normal, natural.

I’ve thought about that night  many times over the last 23 years and bits and pieces of that night float back to me. But I never remember dropping him off, or what the last thing we said to each other, but I do remember we both agreed to hang out again.

However, exactly two months later he blew his brains out with a handgun.

The point here of telling this story in this way is this. I detected nothing. No sadness, he was the same ole guy I knew just older. But I was wrong. And so are you every time you tell someone to KYS, because you cannot know what a person over the internet is going through and you don’t know the effect your words may have. You can lie to yourself and shrug it off, but if I couldn’t tell in person (Granted we weren’t close at the time) none of us can actually know what affect our words may have on someone.

If you are older then a teenager and say these words, then you’re worse. To the teenager and younger crowd, you know better, right? Or you should know better.

And for all you teenagers and younger kids out there, words matter. Don’t pretend they don’t. I imagine there are quite a few of you who have been called names at school or by siblings, parents, family, friends. And if you have felt the sting of the words and play this game and tell someone to KYS, then you’re as big of an ass as the person who called caused you pain in real life.

Here is a spoken poem by someone who went through losing a friend and if you haven’t lost a friend or family member to Suicide I urge you to watch, it sure hit me in the stomach.