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I'm Becoming a Toxic Player. Why? Please help.

Xenith Circuit·11/3/2016, 8:46:56 AM·5 votes·4,350 views

I'm frustrated.

I've been patient for years. I am a bronze ranked player who takes the game seriously and with passion. I've never been very good or, at least, never been able to win many games. I've done everything I can to improve my play. I've paid for professional coaching, I've watched replays of my games and took notes, I practiced mechanics for hours a day on end, and I've done everything I can to try and work with my team to lead to victory - to no avail. I've been bronze for three years. but I've always been a decent person to play with. But, lately my story has been growing dark.

This game is causing me a lot of anxiety. I want to do better, and I want to be good. But I don't think I ever will. As my frustration with my performance grows, so has my attitude turned sour. I came dangerously close to Silver this season, only to have myself get bashed back down to Bronze 3 and stay there. The more I had my hopes dashed, the more bitter I became. I started passive aggressively blaming my teammates for their own shortcomings. I started acting on my own more often. I started using nasty psychological tactics in all chat to try and tilt the enemy team. I've never done this before. This is so unlike me.

My account is in good health. I have never been suspended or punished by the tribunal system.

Over time, the game started giving me anxiety. Merely playing the game gives me headaches. Even now, after my most recent string of losses, I'm writing this with a pounding headache. It's all too much. The stress. The pressure to do well, and then having your team berate you endlessly for your performance. I usually have a thick skin, and I just ignore it. But lately, I haven't been able to help but lash out. But I'm really not a bad person, so I never want to take it so far.

So I started to AFK. A lot. If things are looking grim and the team is fighting one another, I don't want any part of it. I leave. This has proven to be self destructive.

I can't remember the last time I ever queued up and didn't have to sit through a 20 min low priority queue.

Looking at myself 3 years ago when I started playing, what changed? I don't think my thirst and desire for improving my skills have changed. I don't think that my attitude towards the game has changed. In fact, I took a good 4-6 month break to collect myself. Overall, I play better now. Even when I lose lane, I'm able to pull it together and secure a win in many cases. But I can't go on winning streaks. I'll win 2 or 3 games and then go on to lose maybe 4 or 5 in a row. It's maddening, and I hate that I'm seeing myself get lowered to this level of toxicity.

I have my complaints about the leaverbuster system - like how you still get penalized even if you return to the game, but that's a discussion for another time. I know I shouldn't be leaving games. What else am I to do? I don't want to tilt my teammates, but I can't handle the pressure they most often put on me as a single player on the team. You make one mistake and people jump all over you for it.

Anyone else out there having this problem? I feel like this isn't me. What can I do to stop this?

Thanks, everyone.

  • Xenith

18 Comments

RISE Shlack12311/3/2016, 11:33:09 AM6 votes

I've been a patient player all 4 years I've been playing this game, and I can tell you that you've probably just reached that point. You'll hit that point where League seems more like a compulsory activity rather than a recreational one. And you only get enjoyment when you win, making every loss painful and stressful.

Now for the advice: stop playing league, at least ranked, for a good bit. Give it a rest and move on to something else, be it another game or a totally different activity. You need to take a few huge steps away from what's causing you so much anxiety and pain. At this point, you're not even enjoying the game, so there's no reason to keep putting yourself through this crap.

League can very much be like an addiction - you get high off wins and low off of losses. But the thrill of winning is so great that you risk it for the biscuit because you crave that high. But when that high doesn't come, you start getting the ill effects. Hell, even your description of how League makes you feel sounds like a drug addict who can't get high off their drug of choice anymore due to a very high tolerance (chemical dependence).

Xelnex11/3/2016, 12:07:24 PM2 votes

I've paid for professional coaching

I am not sure who coached you, its fairly easy to climb with the help of a coach.

Also, in bronze you need to solo carry the game, if you wanna climb, and same with silver, teamworks dont really matter before gold. Once youre gold, things will be a bit easier.

There's a popular saying that "great minds think alike", so once you're at higher elo you dont even have to chat, just issue a ping and the whole team would back you up (unless its a troll). Also turn off /all chat, they dont have anything good to contribute except salt. Also, yes blame the players but dont say it in chat and blame yourself as well, after the game make a list of 2 things, 1. how you could have won the game on your own, 2. what the team could have done.

CodyBear 11/3/2016, 5:46:33 PM2 votes

This game has been a joke. No matter what you do you will become toxic because we have players who ruin the whole experience for everyone. Think about it, we have people who give up easily 5min in the game and afks the entire game and Riot doesn't do anything about it. Or people who constantly feeds and yet Riot does not do anything about these types of behaviors. It's not your fault, it's Riot and their matchmaking and their support who does nothing but copy and paste solutions to your problem.

SleepySlayer11/4/2016, 9:42:04 AM2 votes

Games shit mate, everyone who loved the game is gone and all you have are the daycare kids and the nazis running the center. Drop the game and find a different addiction, they wont bat an eyelash if they perma ban you and wont unban you for any reason.

fisher11/3/2016, 9:26:53 AM2 votes

Don't take the game so seriously. Unless you are trying to go pro, the point is to have fun. If you're not having fun, there is no reason to play. Additionally, here's some thinking that may help you avoid disappointment when you have bad games:

If you have a game where you're frustrated with your team's performance but not your own, make note of the things you did well in that game. Do those things in the next game, and hopefully you'll have a better team. There is no need to be upset in this case because you did well, and you should be proud of that.

If you have a game where you're frustrated with your own performance, regardless of how your team did, make note of the things you did wrong. Don't do those things in the future. A large part of being good at the game is learning what doesn't work and avoiding it. There is no need to be upset in this case because you learned something you can apply in all future games.

The only instance where neither of these is applicable is if your problem lies in mechanical skill. If that is the case, try playing "easy" champions that primarily require strategy rather than quick reflexes or multitasking and work your way up from there.

Edit: Definitely don't pay any mind to your team flaming you. Not to say you should pretend you did nothing wrong, but so long as you understand where the problem arose there's nothing more that can be gained from the situation. If someone is being obnoxious and has nothing useful to contribute, mute them and continue playing your best. Arguing with them does nothing but cause more frustration and take focus off the game.

SSJTribe11/3/2016, 3:38:06 PM1 votes

As others have said, league should be fun and not stressful. In times like this, I will usually either switch to a different game for a bit, or play off meta stuff in norms.(AP Tristana mid is actually really fun!)

-This next part only applies if you're actually looking for gameplay advice-

Anyway, I looked up some of your games to get a better sense of what's going on. It seems like you enjoy playing really aggressive champions, like Fiora, Yasuo, Ekko, Azir, Leona.... this can cause a lot of frustration in itself, as you have to go in to teamfights pretty deep to be successful with these champs, and if your team doesn't help you out, you just kind of dash in and get killed while your team probably spams "?" on you. I'm guessing this is your biggest obstacle, as your average KDA (rounded) is 8/9/7. You get one kill and maybe one assist each time you die (1.67 on average).

My advice (for getting out of bronze at least) is to pick champions with AoE ultimates that can swing teamfights into your favor easily. You already play some Lux, she's great for this, and you have a very high winrate on her. Personally for me, it was Vel'koz. Every single ability he has can hit multiple targets, and he deals a lot of true damage so enemy resists don't help that much. Play champions like this, and instead of focusing on kills, focus on staying alive. That might be the #1 thing that got me out of bronze. Staying alive means more AoE damage you can lay down, meaning a higher likelyhood of winning teamfights, meaning a great chance at winning a game. Once you get to like Mid silver you can start playing those aggressive champs again, with people who actually understand how to better coordinate with them.

Blue Collar Bear11/3/2016, 3:52:03 PM1 votes

There are two kinds of coaches: sports analysts and behavioral coaches. Rarely, there's a person who is both. As you can surmise, the former focuses on what you're doing wrong as a player and the latter is focused on keeping your emotions from interfering with your play. Chances are, you probably didn't pay for someone who did both.

Now, I've coached a couple players who've had these issues. What works for them (and me) is to mute everyone in the game. Additionally, a friend of mine suggested that you try to imagine which animal best suits how they're playing in game. Naturally, he thinks everyone's a monkey, but I think some of them can be giraffes. Outside of that, take breaks regularly. They don't have to be months, but a couple days at least.

NvestmentPlanker11/3/2016, 3:52:52 PM1 votes

Few questions. What roles do you play? What champions in those roles do you play? What would you consider your strengths and what would you see as your major weaknesses?

TheSequelsRBad11/3/2016, 7:37:19 PM1 votes

Reading this I would recommend a break. Maybe pick up a solo player game, and play that instead of League for a month or 2. Some rest and doing something else, can help a lot with league problems I think.

Auturgist11/3/2016, 7:42:23 PM1 votes

My recommendation: quit if you're not already too invested in this game. Leaverbuster is horribly flawed, and Riot doesn't care about making this game appealing for people who care about competition more than they care about the pretense that it's a fun, friendly game because the Summoner's Code is a thing that exists -- as if that actually addresses the reasons so many players in this game are toxic.

Believe me, I was like you. I used to never be toxic. Only when I started feeling that I was being held back by players who AFK, feed, troll, and make the same bad decisions over and over, even while I continually strive to improve, did I cease biting my tongue. It's one thing to have a bad game; it's another to be disrespectful of your teammates' time and effort, which is what the majority of these players are doing when they act this way. But if you say shit to them, you get penalized for it. Meanwhile, you've lost LP and wasted your time policing other players for Riot when one could argue that Riot ought to implement measures to ensure players are better prepared to play ranked in the first place, and ought to more harshly punish those players who engage in the behavior that drives people like us to be toxic.

haha retard11/4/2016, 12:27:03 AM1 votes

see this is what happened to me, i started climbing on the brink of being gold, and i flamed all to that point, i was permabanned soon after, and for all you saying well fuck you, you deserved it, yeah i did i know lol, the point is, league hits a point where you feel like youre just stalling the entire time and you try really hard to get better as you said you might even pay for coaching, but just nothings working, same thing happened to me when i was in bronze 5 i was constantly trying to get better and trying to get out of bronze but i just couldnt and eventually i pushed through the cancers of league and the final product was someone who flamed but preformed well at most times. i managed to solo carry through bronze got to silver 2 close to gold 5 and then i was permabanned and it was just unfortunate for me. permabanning ruined the game for me, and only made me think, like, wow, i really dont care about anyone in this game anymore why try why be competitive, and why shouldnt i just ruin everyone elses experience since mine got fucked over so bad. my advice to you is just to mute your whole team and i know its hard because it was hard for me to try to shut up and not bitch at my teammates for messing up but theres nothing you can do to your teammates but put them on tilt which is never good. just try your best not to flame and if you need to flame your monitor not in the game it helps way more

Dilsea11/4/2016, 3:58:45 AM1 votes

I just posted this on a thread I created quite litterally 20 mins ago:

"Hi. I've played some ranked this season as well as the pre season and ended up as just a low plat shitter in both of them. I'm also a poor student. I watch a LOT of league content daily for my own amusement and I've run into some big dick youtubers/streamers who seem to do a bit of coaching for a to me staggering fee. I'm just wondering if anyone could be interested in some budget version of that for say maybe 5 euros or something. I'd like to think of myself as a general observant summoner. I'd just kinda give tips of what I would do, how to play around things that occur and give suggestions on what to work on and how to improve. If the coaching is just flat out of too bad quality the fee gets paid back naturally."

Your story made me feel a bit bad. As previously stated in the comments I don't know who coached you... if you want a free and extensive coaching from this plat scrub I'd gladly help ^^. I had a friend with a similar problem. I don't recommend it, but his way of solving it was getting a fresh start. He had riot delete his account and started over from scratch. Seems like a mistake from my point of view, but it changed something in him.

Morality Coach11/5/2016, 6:11:23 PM1 votes

If you're a leaver just quit and play an mmo game. No place in mobas for the mentally weak.

Need Gold 4 Tent11/3/2016, 10:36:36 AM1 votes

I have a feeling salt is contagious. I too, have been a very patient player for the whole of my LoL career of 5 years. But for some reason lately, I've been getting saltier and saltier (especially against Yasuo/Riven/Vaynes) and I caught myself actually raging in a game (totally unheard of 4 years ago). However, I could also attribute this to my changed life conditions being more stressful, that probably carried into the game. It is ok to turn toxic, just be aware of it so you can control it, that's how I deal with it anyways.

ReadyxPlayerxOne11/3/2016, 3:08:21 PM1 votes

There's some teams that just can't be carried. It's truer now than ever.

I've gone 26/4 and had teams who have kda's under 0.5 scream at me for being terrible, for not ganking, for throwing the game and other absurdity I can't even explain. It's important to remember it's not your fault. If you played well and did what you should be doing then it's on them.

Instead of afking, try to do just that. Try to do what you should be doing. If you're behind and losing jungle, ask for wards, buy wards, find new places to put them just to catch that one guy making a mistake. If they all rush to baron and ur teams dead, try sneaking dragon. See if letting them team fight the whole game while you do nothing but keep minions off towers works because I've done that and won.

It's awful playing with teams who are really not teams. They're just on the same side as you. All I can say is that if you're doing what you should be doing... it's not gonna rain on you every day.

Escheton11/3/2016, 3:26:50 PM1 votes

What role/champions do you play? (and do you swap champions based on the opposing team picks so far?) Do you check what your enemy team is building/who is fed, and then change your build to deal with that? How many wards do you average per game? How is your map awareness/rotationspeed? Are you comfortable leaving your team thats wasting time grouping in front of a tower they cant take to apply splitpush pressure?

I find these things to matter most. Simply running up to help the jungler if he is close-ish and either in a fight or heading to one will boost team cohesion and morale enough to win early game I find.

Ow, and most of all. remember that your team doesn't know shit. You don't need to respect them or their opinion. Try to help were you can. And if that doesn't un-tilt em, fuck em. Win despite em, knowing your opponent is dealing with the exact same problem.

Great Muta11/3/2016, 3:27:47 PM1 votes

Some things:

  • I don't actually believe a lot of people deemed "toxic" in this game are actually toxic in real life. I think League creates toxicity due to the way its set up like...

  • The second you Q up for a game, you have very little control over anything but how you play. You can't choose your teammates, enemies, behaviors of other players, sometimes your role and sometimes the champ you want. This all leads to people being unhappy.

  • There is no way to get out of a League game without facing consequences. It's 4v5? Deal with it or take a leaver penalty. 4 people harassing you? Deal with, don't you dare say a fucking thing back or you are gonna get reported. Someone is purposely throwing? Can't kick them, so again deal with it or take a leaver penalty.

  • The ranked system is bizarre. 60% winrate players getting teamed with 8% winrate players - had this happen to me many times. People who have played thousands of games teamed with people who have played few games. Questionable matchmaking and individual skill rated on how well a full team does. People getting 10 points for wins and 20 for losses. Having to win 5-7 in a row to rank up and tons of other shit that leads to frustrations.

I find it very hard to be happy and calm in a game that creates bad environments like this.