Boards›Player Behavior

Unpopular Opinion: Empathy Towards the Toxic

megatravian·10/2/2018, 4:21:34 PM·6 votes·2,870 views

"Woah you're toxic. Muted and reported"

This above reply towards a rager and foul-language spammer may seem to be the wise way to deal with toxicity (if anything even Riot suggests to mute the people that are harrassing you instead of any further contact with them and to report them so the tribunal system can determine their fate). However, as a person who has went through emotional trauma myself and has been volunteering here and there since, it comes to me that most negativity does not come because 'they are bad' but instead that they need more love and care. The abused child has more chances of being an offender or another abuser, the traumatised are more prone to depression and emotional management. The partner doesnt walk away when his/her/zer other comes back in a bad mood and foul-mouthes, but to care about him and ask about what happened at work... The teammate should not mute their teammates when another teammates is in a bad mood, but to give care and raise positivity towards toxicity... In my opinion, negativity is just frustrated positivity --- like the wise Greek philosopher has once said," No one desires evil", shouldnt that be our philosophy towards the toxic too? Shouldnt we see that they are people who are going / has went through rough times and is in a dire need of care?

P.S.: In no way am I suggesting that they should not be punished. The abusive husband should be punished but, what Im suggesting is not to marginalize the punished, no one wishes to be a criminal if they have the choice (you may say some really did intend to commit the crimes but Id say that would be from some experiences in childhood, like the infamous Joker who 'just wants to see the world burn', isnt he the pinnacle of a traumatised survivor?). Same here that the atmosphere towards the toxic the flamer the troll should not be as militant or marginalizing as it is.

64 Comments

zPOOPz10/2/2018, 4:26:25 PM9 votes

The teammate should not mute their teammates when another teammates is in a bad mood, but to give care and raise positivity towards toxicity

We are playing a game, not running social services nor are most players qualified as such.

In my opinion, negativity is just frustrated positivity --- like the wise Greek philosopher has once said," No one desires evil", shouldnt that be our philosophy towards the toxic too? Shouldnt we see that they are people who are going / has went through rough times and is in a dire need of care?

There are trolls. REAL trolls that you DO NOT "give care and raise positivity to" DURING A GAME.

Subdue10/2/2018, 4:31:31 PM8 votes

Your teammates are not your therapists. They're not your parents, your friends, your loved ones. They are strangers that have been randomly selected to be on a team with you. Their responsibilities towards you are to be decent human beings and to try to win. There is neither cause nor benefit for them to suffer through your temper tantrum, your spewing of vitriol, and your outright harassment.

Note: I say "You" to mean "A toxic player" not the original poster or anyone else specifically.

MegaLobunny10/2/2018, 5:12:44 PM7 votes

My problem with this argument is that it makes you seem like you have more empathy for the aggressors than the victims. You’re arguing that someone who has had slurs thrown at them in the game and been told to die should suck it up and act as a therapist for this toxic player. Toxic players shouldn’t be rewarded for their toxicity and some players who have to deal with those toxic players deserve more concern. If we’re considering the mental state of the toxic player, why not also consider the mental state of the players on the receiving end? And why are we valuing the toxic players state over theirs?

To bring up your example of the joker, it’s important to remember that being a victim does not excuse victimizing others. Harley Quinn should not be expected to heal the joker (though this is an extreme example and comparing it to video games seems weird). Even if we decide to care about his well being, the responsibility of his recovery shouldn’t default to Harley.

And ideally that responsibility shouldn’t rest on Riot either since they aren’t therapists (not equipped to handle this) and would be better directed to a third party or willing volunteers (still not necessarily equipped) without setting expectations that other players are required to do this. Talking to the wrong people can sometimes make things worse, as strange as it sounds.

Scuttle10/2/2018, 4:25:56 PM6 votes

If someone tells me to stfu, get cancer, go die, etc, I'm not going to attempt to understand their situation. Just no.

I'm going to mute them. I'm going to report the after the game. And I'm going to never think about them again.

It's a video game, not real life. People play to have fun, not be somebody's therapist.

Oleandervine10/2/2018, 4:42:23 PM4 votes

Toxic players are generally not "damaged" or "traumatized" or "in need of love and care." They're angry, tilted, and going to get pissed no matter what you say. Muting them is the best option to deal with them, as that prevents their anger from spreading to you like a plague. Talking to them will only upset them further, and it overall detracts from the game when people type to each other, so no good comes from it either way.

I get your sentiment, but this isn't a matter of helping the needy. It's a matter of blocking out those who are beyond pacifying and enjoying your game without their anger and interference.

ModThe Djinn10/2/2018, 4:27:40 PM4 votes

If someone is in a bad mood, my first approach is always to attempt to diffuse and assist if possible. Muting is a last resort for a player who insists on being toxic even when others are willing to try to work with him or calm him down, or for egregious toxicity.

I do, however, feel that everyone is allowed to handle these situations however they want, including muting early if it improves their game experience to do so.

EvilDustMan10/2/2018, 8:22:30 PM2 votes

Yes, you should try and defuse the situation. Be empathetic, say 'hey, come on, we can still do this' or 'hey, come on, no need to resort to that.' Saying 'ur reported' is going to just set them off further.

CIayman10/3/2018, 4:44:44 PM2 votes

Apathy is better. Who cares? Just press the mute button.

MegaLobunny10/4/2018, 4:25:46 PM2 votes

It’s not lazy to not speak in a league match which is why I’m defending it. It’s a common thing that introverts (for example) can lack the energy to speak in certain situations but still have the mental capacity to play strategy games. In fact there are also many people who go nonverbal due to autism or similar disorders and during those nonverbal stints rely on other forms of communication outside of talking. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being nonverbal for a period of time and defending or being nonverbal doesn’t make you a bad person.

mlm olo mlm10/2/2018, 4:44:22 PM2 votes

This is why Riot needs to separately recognize the neutral and the good people.

Actual honorable behavior takes actual effort. One has to actually go feed, shelter, and care for people.

Meanwhile, the neutral people are hitting two buttons and calling it a day.

Xurreal10/3/2018, 11:09:18 PM1 votes

Empathy towards the currently living. Apathy towards the currently Toxic.

Life kinda sucks, but you know that some people cannot be talked down once worked up. That is not the time to be outspoken with them. Most people, I find, kinda chillax after a while if they are genuinely not a troll. Just focus on winning. Everyone is there to win, so if you wanna make that person feel better.

#Winning the game works best.

Colgate Gator10/3/2018, 3:02:15 PM1 votes

Did you just really, unironically, use the Joker as an example to make your point about a manchild who cannot stop himself from taking the conscious decisions of pressing enter, writing whatever colorful message they want to use to insult someone, and then type enter again?

Please never fall from your high horse, I fear the fall might kill you from that height.

To give more of an answer to your actual point, no, I disagree completely. Sure, they might need help, love and care, but I'm not going to give that to a completely random stranger who decided it was okay to attack my person over what's going on an online game, this isn't an online rehabilitation center, this is game, where we come to have fun, not to be insulted and then give these people our time and care.