Why are new players like myself already toxic? I am just trying to learn.

I am new to the game, i know people who have played as far back as Season 2 and some friends who started with me. As a new player there are some things i would like to point out first.

1. I love the game
2. It helps me cope with bad times
3. The average game makes time fly by
4. Getting better and realizing it feels amazing

The game is great and this would be the first time i use BOARDS or upload to any thread online so bear with me. (Reddit, 4chan, ect.)

/

I have been struggling with games and having fun or at the very least completing them, unlike when i was 9 or 10 i could launch any mediocre game and have a blast and i suppose part of that is just the mental changes. I found league and ended up playing here and there. As a new player i noticed from the gate when the game was introduced to me that the game looked a little too... Gay...

Once i got past that the game had made me realize how much i loved music, not the kind in-game but the login music of some champions or events made me feel excited to launch the game. Also the game made me realize what alone time felt like, i could lock my door, smoke some weed, listen to music, play league. This was the good alone time that i asked for, a time in my life squeezed in that i could meditate and get my mind off things that happened at work or school.

Maybe it is the demographic Riot is aiming for but it fits me well in this time of my life and there has been times where i listen to a song and it even reminds me of league, not the previous memories of a broken heart, tragic loss.

//

Games go by fast and help me get over a bad day. I realized league was for me after how long i could play it. Playing one game took 20 mins to 30 if my team or i cant end or lose fast enough. It hit me and i like that, longer games put more at risk and force you to remember what end game looks like and what a winning or losing one looks like. Getting better at the game makes me feel excited and constant kills kind of puts me into a high if i am or not already on the devil's lettuce.

/// Now going into the part that i currently do not understand. I feel this way and i am trying my best to stay with the game but others are not as fortunate. Reporting a player that AFK's, Players that run it mid because they don't have the champ/role they want, never works. I understand most of the time i don't even try to report. It ends up making me feel like a snitch and i very much only report if it is clear that they do not give a fuck about the current state of the game. Pretty much if they do petty things that are affecting more than just myself.

But this is the twist...

Players treat me, the one that is trying, like i am feeding and doing of those that i just stated. I die once and jungle says that i am losing even though i catch up in levels and with a 45 cs lead. I can do all the things right and the stars never allign just right enough for me to have a good game. Riot tells us to mute all...

THAT IS IGNORING THE PROBLEM!

At this point those that are happy are being affected by those that aren't and put those that are toxic at a clear advantage. Something as simple as seeing a-

dead

Garen: ?

can tilt a person. As a new player i don't want to go down this route and i don't want my friends to go down it either. Not saying it starts this way it just gets to a point where after level 12 everyone is rude and changes completely. I hope someone reads this and understands my fustration. I build an item that someone disagrees with, ask for a gank, ask for a MIA, respectively lose a lane and my team goes ape shit.

Think of it this way, if i don't feed and demolish Top lane. Good for me but the other team just inted because i did well? It should not be of that mental scope. I did better or they did poorly but it should not be that every bad game is reportable. I know it sounds like i retconned myself or changed focus of the matter. It was more of the change over time and what i used to believe.

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Last of all i just want to say out of the 6 friends that started with me only 2 play now which both are inactive and ended up moving onto newer better games. I am stuck here with a shadow of a game, shadow of an experience, and a shadow of myself...