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Flame and Move On

SteelMankind··3 votes·1,047 views

So for the longest time, I was the least toxic player imaginable. I never was rude, never criticized for mistakes, etc. I had always heard high-elo players preaching that elo hell doesnt exist, and that the only reason you should ever lose a game is because you couldn't carry. I adopted this attitude, and for about a year I believed that every single game I lost was my fault.

Then it came to me.

I can only be expected to do my best, so blaming myself for not carrying a game even if I played to my fullest potential makes no sense. Some games (some, not most) CAN BE LOST BY TEAMMATES.

Me realizing this led to me developing a new philosophy in league. Rather than shouldering all of the blame for losing, I developed a mindest I call, "Flame and move on". Basically, when a teammate does bad and isn't apologetic, you reprimand them sternly ("maybe you should play champ x, they're easier than champ y" or "I hope you realize you're the main reason we lost") , but not crudely (no "kill yourself" or "get cancer"). The purpose of this is to alleviate stress at the prospect of losing due to a teammate. "Flame and move on" has made my league experience much more enjoyable, because I'm no longer blaming myself for every little thing that goes wrong, I'm sharing the blame to those who actually deserve it.

I highly recommend that you try adopting this mindset. It's helped me get off tilt faster and view the next game after a loss with a more positive mindset.

15 Comments

SmokedAlmonds3 votes

The "carry harder" advice is about focusing on your own play because it is the only thing you can ever control. Every loss isn't your fault, but even in the ones that aren't you fault you still could have played better. It does you no good to focus on anything other than that.

Better than the "you can carry every game" advice is(and I forgot who said it) you are going to win 40% of your games no matter what and you are going to lose 40% of your games no matter what. It's that 20% that you have to push towards wins instead of losses to climb.

People are not punching bags for your to vent your frustrations at. Flaming them in any way and for any reason is completely unacceptable. Take your share of the blame, and you have a share of it in every loss. Figure out what you can do better next time and move on. They are going to take w/e deficiencies they had in the game with you on to their next game and lose again and fall and you will take your presumably superior skills and mentality into the next game and win and climb.

SteelMankind1 votes

{quoted}

People are not punching bags for your to vent your frustrations at. Flaming them in any way and for any reason is completely unacceptable. Take your share of the blame, and you have a share of it in every loss. Figure out what you can do better next time and move on. They are going to take w/e deficiencies they had in the game with you on to their next game and lose again and fall and you will take your presumably superior skills and mentality into the next game and win and climb.

Explain to me why flaming is always wrong. If I'm working on a group project and one member of the group lets everyone else down, then the only thing you can do to rectify the situation is to try to make them upset/unhappy. That's justice, not toxicity.

SmokedAlmonds1 votes

Making someone upset/unhappy does nothing to rectify the situation. Flaming doesn't undo w/e happened already. It isn't going to make them better. It does nothing positive. At best it is making you feel a little better at everyone else's expense. That is revenge, not justice.

SteelMankind1 votes

{quoted}

Making someone upset/unhappy does nothing to rectify the situation. At best it is making you feel a little better at everyone else's expense. That is revenge, not justice.

Fine. You win. Guess I'm going back to blaming everything on myself.

SmokedAlmonds1 votes

It isn't that you have to blame everything on yourself , but there are things you could have done better in ever game. Focus on that because blaming team mates will get you nowhere. Raging at others doesn't fix the problem, it will either do nothing or make the situation worse.

SteelMankind1 votes

{quoted}

It isn't that you have to blame everything on yourself , but there are things you could have done better in ever game. Focus on that because blaming team mates will get you nowhere. Raging at others doesn't fix the problem, it will either do nothing or make the situation worse.

No. For the sake of closure, I absolutely need to blame someone. Guess its gonna have to be me.

GaleWinUnleashed1 votes

Try constructive criticism. Don't just point out mistakes, try to offer advice on how best to avoid similar mistakes next time. Better yet, notice when teammates do something well and compliment them for it.

If you absolutely have to do something, but can't come up with anything constructive, feel free to shout at your computer all you like. Just keep it out of chat.

The JigSAW1 votes

Higher ELO players usually play with their buddies and have for years so they are good enough to not have to worry about all the things us lowly under diamond players have to deal with. The problem is the continual worship of these people. I like playing for fun, it'd be great if I could hit diamond one day but guess what? I'm not going to go insane over it, I likely won't, and even if I do its not a life goal. I just want to be -better- period, and when people like that tell you its always your fault that's just a real load.

These 'pros' play thousands of games with their buddies, they get their guaranteed role and champ, the rest of us go through toxic solo queue with no team builder anymore or that godawful champ select with the 15 minute pick/ban/dodge/repeat mode. Its so easy to lecture somebody when you always get the role and champ you want being part of a high ranked team of friends. Its not so easy navigating what we do every single day. In reality the casual players are the real pros because we take all of this stress and still come back, try to be positive, and have fun at the same time while going for a victory.

I also bet you told a lot of people to use Yasuo since, well, I can't think of anybody easier to play than him. If you do poorly with Yi because he has mana, go Yasuo!

BTW: HAPPY DRAVEN DAY! Draven

SteelMankind1 votes

[{quoted}](name=The JigSAW,realm=NA,application-id=ZGEFLEUQ,discussion-id=49MW6aEk,comment-id=0000,timestamp=2016-04-01T06:18:47.643+0000)

Higher ELO players usually play with their buddies and have for years so they are good enough to not have to worry about all the things us lowly under diamond players have to deal with. The problem is the continual worship of these people. I like playing for fun, it'd be great if I could hit diamond one day but guess what? I'm not going to go insane over it, I likely won't, and even if I do its not a life goal. I just want to be -better- period, and when people like that tell you its always your fault that's just a real load.

These 'pros' play thousands of games with their buddies, they get their guaranteed role and champ, the rest of us go through toxic solo queue with no team builder anymore or that godawful champ select with the 15 minute pick/ban/dodge/repeat mode. Its so easy to lecture somebody when you always get the role and champ you want being part of a high ranked team of friends. Its not so easy navigating what we do every single day. In reality the casual players are the real pros because we take all of this stress and still come back, try to be positive, and have fun at the same time while going for a victory.

I also bet you told a lot of people to use Yasuo since, well, I can't think of anybody easier to play than him. If you do poorly with Yi because he has mana, go Yasuo!

BTW: HAPPY DRAVEN DAY! Draven

The point I was trying to make is just as applicable in Challenger games as it is in Bronze games. Its just how to respond to bad teammates. I used to tell myself that its my fault because I couldn't carry, now I just flame and move on.

Awkward Couch1 votes

I'm actually reminded of Star Trek Next Generation Season 2 episode 21. Go check it out on Netflix. While some games are going to be lost by your team, you have to remember that some games, you aren't going to win even if you play perfectly.

HamerDrunk1 votes

i think they say the you couldn't carry mentallity means more somthing like you can't change you're teammates playstyle or lvl but you are responsible for you're own action and flaming someone or telling them to go uninstall or don't play that champ anymore isn't helping either

i get this loads if i play blitzcranck and i miss 2 grabs early my adc and team ussualy say gg blitz go uninstall or omfg don't play blitz

this does 1 of 2 things

or i don't care anymore and just start to wander off in my mind

or i get so focusd on grabbing an enemy i would even pull nunu or amumu next to my adc

neither of these 2 are positvie

if they however would be like np dude evryone misses some times or just pressure instead of trying to grab evrytime i don't care

i will be more relaxed and more hellbent on changing my early misses

i will still have the will to win an help 4 other ally's gain ther much needed lp

if you say get cancer or go kill yourself or you do it like you and try to do it polite in the form of don't play that champ anymore just play yi doesn't make a diffrence to me its both degrading and it feels like you think you're so much better then me and doesn't in any way make me consider you someone i want to help

you don't have to take it littarly that YOU need to carry every game you just need to see what you did wrong and try to learn from it like did someone give enemy rengo 4 kills why did i push to their turret etc. etc.

SteelMankind1 votes

{quoted} if you say get cancer or go kill yourself or you do it like you and try to do it polite in the form of don't play that champ anymore just play yi doesn't make a diffrence to me its both degrading and it feels like you think you're so much better then me and doesn't in any way make me consider you someone i want to help

Sorry. I didn't mention that I do the flaming in the post game lobby. Obviously doing it while the game is still going on is counterproductive towards winning.

Lothàrs Edge1 votes

You're the type of person that wouldn't have a place in this world.

Lucent Rengar1 votes

{quoted}

I had always heard high-elo players preaching that elo hell doesnt exist, and that the only reason you should ever lose a game is because you couldn't carry. I adopted this attitude, and for about a year I believed that every single game I lost was my fault.

this is a dogma my friend. it's a make believe theory. it's meant to make the player try harder and harder. but we've all had those games, where no matter how hard you try, and you're kda is like 32/3/20 you just couldn't carry your sorry ass team.

my last game we lost before it even began. what do i mean by this? my mid and top lane had died a total of 9 times before the 7 minute mark. their first death happeneed BEFORE i even clear my camps. right off the bat, i couldn't gank top or mid because they were super fed. and the enemy jgler knowing his top and mid were doing suberb, he decided to focus on bot. i did too....but guess which lane carried? the enemy top and mid.

Dengeden1 votes

It's more of a mantra then a dogma. The fact of the matter is, there's always something you could have done better, you're lying if you say otherwise.

What is a dogma is thinking that KDA wins games.

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