I am a toxic player and I need help.
My chat logs are embarrassing. What the hell is wrong with me. why Do I act like this, how do I change it. 
I don't want to post my chat log but reading through it makes me feel ashamed that I act like this.
7 Comments
I used to have my moments, but playing with another player who told me every time I was toxic not to be toxic really conditioned me to be less toxic in the games that (s)he was in and the games that (s)he wasn't in. Sometimes you'll have your frustrating games, but you'll have to move past them and not let them get to you. Being toxic in one game isn't worth the potential suspension, especially when it's likely you'll never encounter those players again. If anything, stop by the CommunityPlatform in-client chatroom and hit us up with an invite. We'll tell ya when you're going a bit overboard :)
Step one is acknowledging that you're looking to change! Past that, I think the thing to start with is to figure out what your triggers are. It's really hard to improve without knowing what, specifically, needs improvement, and figuring out what prompts you to start getting negative is a great way to learn.
Play a champion you don't care about and don't know how to play in normals.
No really, part of why you are toxic is that you're trying to vent your frustration at losing. If you pick a champion you don't expect to win with that frustration is a little less.
For example, yesterday I played lulu support, a champion I have never played and don't know how to play. Because I had no expectations of winning, I wasn't even mad at our yasuo for going 2-21 to their Lebonk and her steamrolling our team. If I had been playing Morgana, I probably would have been furious at him.
Tl;dr: go play bard in teambuilder and derp around.
Dealing with so many toxic players I notice that I do it right back. One game I played Kindred and Ashe ADC stole my first two camps and said in all chat that she did it because Supp was sitting afk in base when she wasn't. That game I roamed jungle and did nothing.
Then another game all the lanes got filled so I had to play support there was maybe 15 sec when I locked in as 
then the person that called top locked 8 sec with Sona saying she called bot guessing the others where in a skype call cause there was no call supp after they called top. That game I sat on turret and did nothing.
Both games I muted everyone and said nothing so they couldn't get me for anything verbal. It's sad that there's so many toxic players that it's starting to effect me. I even switched to ARAM just to relax and 5 mins in the game my team wanted to FF I was like WTF. Sad thing is me and one other didn't want to FF and we ended up winning the game. I learn that you need to play with friends if you don't it only gets worse.
Honestly, if you haven't gotten in trouble then keep doing it, if it's too embarrassing then just mute everyone at the start of the game. Also, this is what I do, if someone is being a %%%got/trolling depending on the situation, I just be a dick the same way they are, and usually, being a dick back stops them.
show the logs
Without details, here's the best I can offer:
First, figure out what situation triggers your behavior. Then, decide - away from that situation - what type of response you think would be better. Lastly, practice implementing that decision, with the awareness and acceptance that you will fail now and then.