People can't seem to take criticism very well

BeNiceToOthers·Jul 6, 2018·3 votes·1,895 views

People nowadays can't differentiate constructive criticism and straight up insults, to the point where saying anything negative to them will make them tilt and insult you back. This is so frustrating because it's become a chore to talk to them and tell them what they're doing wrong. Grow a thick skin. You're not gonna get very far in life if you cry whenever your boss has something to say.

If you agree with that they said, follow the advice. If you don't like what the person is saying, tell them or mute them. Trolling, inting, or throwing insults is only going to make things worse.

18 Comments

Baron BarianJul 6, 20187 votes

This is partly because the vast majority of people think criticism is to bitch and complain about someone doing something wrong and offering nothing that can help them improve. Most people will take in proper criticism, but it's not often something you'll see people actually give.

Your own boss will always be more professional then the average league player you will play with.

SEKAIJul 6, 20181 votes

[{quoted}](name=Baron Barian,realm=NA,application-id=ZGEFLEUQ,discussion-id=15XHqV7a,comment-id=0000,timestamp=2018-07-06T02:48:10.411+0000)

Your own boss will always be more professional then the average league player you will play with.

You have not seen some of the small start-ups' bosses.

ModUlanopoJul 6, 20186 votes

You're not gonna get very far in life if you cry whenever your boss has something to say.

Funny, I don't remember hiring anyone to coach me. Oh wait, you're saying I should just let some rando on the internet talk down to me? Yeah, not gonna happen. I find the people most interested in giving me their opinion tend to have the least valuable opinions. Kind of an inverse correlation thing.

Now, I'm not going to cuss you out when you do that, understanding the rule against adding to toxicity as I do, but you can bet you're getting muted, plus a sweet little report for harassment when the game is done.

This is so frustrating because it's become a chore to talk to them and tell them what they're doing wrong.

What you're doing wrong is presuming it's okay to boss people around. I bet you'll have a better time of things if you let go of trying to control the people around you and focus on the stuff you're responsible for. That's a suggestion for life AND for League.

BeNiceToOthersJul 6, 20182 votes

{quoted}

Funny, I don't remember hiring anyone to coach me. Oh wait, you're saying I should just let some rando on the internet talk down to me? Yeah, not gonna happen. I find the people most interested in giving me their opinion tend to have the least valuable opinions. Kind of an inverse correlation thing.

Now, I'm not going to cuss you out when you do that, understanding the rule against adding to toxicity as I do, but you can bet you're getting muted, plus a sweet little report for harassment when the game is done.

What you're doing wrong is presuming it's okay to boss people around. I bet you'll have a better time of things if you let go of trying to control the people around you and focus on the stuff you're responsible for. That's a suggestion for life AND for League.

You seem to be getting the wrong idea. I'm not saying it's ok to talk down to people, but rather to tell them what they're doing wrong and help them fix it. I understand some people might not want that, and that's fine, but being totally unreceptive to constructive feedback will not improve your game in the future. I am Silver and we make tons of mistakes in our Elo. What I'd like is for people to give me kind feedback as to what I can improve on if I'm starting out on graves jungle maybe as an adc main. I , in no way, condone "talking down to people" because we're all human and tilt, but I want to make an environment where everyone helps one another improve.

Eryl FaunaJul 6, 20184 votes

[deleted]

BeNiceToOthersJul 6, 20181 votes

[{quoted}](name=Erol The Nomad,realm=NA,application-id=ZGEFLEUQ,discussion-id=15XHqV7a,comment-id=000300000000,timestamp=2018-07-06T05:09:29.758+0000)

They are trying to tell you that you are too eager to offer your own opinion to people who you haven't bothered to ask their's. I don't take criticisms from strangers either and the only times I have, I've had a bad time because strangers online are the most common source of criticism. You have to prove yourself as sympathetic or people will assume you are being bossy. Telling people to not be sensitive and demanding they take your criticism is most likely to lead to them muting or disregarding you.

And that's exactly what's wrong with League. People are so stuck up and think they are always right. Sure sometimes ( or maybe the majority of the time) the criticism is straight up bad, but then don't take it personally then. League is a game just like any other. I don't get upset or throw fits when people criticise my Maplestory build, or my combos in whatever fighter game. It's because I know I'm not perfect and still have lots to learn. Maybe this has more to do with the competitiveness of League, but people don't see to enjoy playing anymore.

You don't have to take the criticism to heart. If you don't like it then don't mind it. Laugh it off, or just say "Ok" half-heartedly. No need to insult each other back or troll when things don't go your way. At the end of it all, League is only a game and games are supposed to be fun. I shouldn't have to worry about hurting your feelings when making a slight suggestion towards your way.

ModiJul 6, 20183 votes

You are free to (respectfully) provide advice. They are free to (respectfully) disregard sails advice. If you or they choose to not fee that simple at of rules, then leave it at that. I try to give advice, and if they don't take it, it's no skin off my back.

You say that they need to stop taking it personally. I recommend the same to you: if they choose to not accept your advice, don't take it personally.

Eryl FaunaJul 6, 20182 votes

[deleted]

BeNiceToOthersJul 6, 20181 votes

[{quoted}](name=Erol The Nomad,realm=NA,application-id=ZGEFLEUQ,discussion-id=15XHqV7a,comment-id=00030000000000000001,timestamp=2018-07-06T17:22:11.921+0000)

Ok well you are literally on a forum asking for criticism and not hearing a word of it so you are making yourself out to be the perfect hypocrite right now. You are not taking the opinion of people who trying to help you by pointing out what you are doing wrong which is exactly what you are blaming these randos for.

So far, everyone's been saying something along the lines of "Only voice my opinions respectfully and don't shove it down their throats." I agree. That's like saying water is wet lol. I'm not arguing against that. My argument is that people are too easy to anger when faced with any sort of criticism. I'm saying people should lighten up.

Toxicate13Jul 6, 20181 votes

{quoted}

Funny, I don't remember hiring anyone to coach me. Oh wait, you're saying I should just let some rando on the internet talk down to me? Yeah, not gonna happen. I find the people most interested in giving me their opinion tend to have the least valuable opinions. Kind of an inverse correlation thing.

Now, I'm not going to cuss you out when you do that, understanding the rule against adding to toxicity as I do, but you can bet you're getting muted, plus a sweet little report for harassment when the game is done.

What you're doing wrong is presuming it's okay to boss people around. I bet you'll have a better time of things if you let go of trying to control the people around you and focus on the stuff you're responsible for. That's a suggestion for life AND for League.

I thought Advisors were supposed to leave helpful and constructive comments

AR URFJul 7, 20183 votes

as someone who plays this game a lot and I mean a lot. The worst times to constructively criticize is when your score is not the best. Like if I'm ADC going 0/2/0 and I notice my support doesn't ward at all. If I say something like "hey can you keep bushes warded?". They'd probably just end up saying "shut up trash ADC". So In circumstances like that I just ward myself and hope that the jungler makes his way bot eventually. That's usually not the case though because the jungler is too busy clearing his camps. If I say something like "hey jungler can you come bot and gank more please?" he'd probably just spam ping ? on me when I make bad plays,ignore me, or say something like "don't blame the jungler".

When I constructively crticize. I do it with obvious stuff. Like I'll say "Darius they're full ap, why build thornmail?"

KVbqbFsC8eJul 6, 20182 votes

Thats a massive understatement. League players cannot take any criticism whatsoever. You say one thing someone doesn't like and its "toxic reported".

P4ppinoJul 6, 20182 votes

No, ppl just dont want to deal with it in game, because it's annoying. There are very few things you need to type in chat in-game, criticism - constructive or not - is not on the list.

AneirinJul 6, 20181 votes

You're not gonna get very far in life if you cry whenever your boss has something to say.

While that's true, replace boss with "random guy off the street" and it's more applicable to league. I agree that many people don't take criticism well, however many people also feel they have a right to criticise other players and that they have a duty to listen. If people won't listen then don't keep trying to force your advice down their throats.

zPOOPzJul 6, 20181 votes

I'm fairly certain your boss still has to adhere to the company Code of Conduct whereas your average League players will say whatever "criticism" that pop into their head

Silent GravityJul 6, 20181 votes

{quoted}

Grow a thick skin. You're not gonna get very far in life if you cry whenever your boss has something to say.

You're upset with the way they're talking to you, and the solution is for them to grow a thicker skin?

I'm sorry. I don't like it when I'm rude. I'll try to do better in the future.

But, to go back to what you have to say, the players that are "tilt (ing) and insult (ing) you back" are giving you feedback/criticism on your method of communication. If the response to you is generally negative, there could be something wrong with your approach.

One thing that it seems that you could work on is when you give advice. I suggest giving advice in only 3 situations. 1: You've been hired to coach. 2: Someone asks for advice. 3: Someone responds positively to an offer of advice.

I'm treating this post as you asking for advice on the subject, so I'm not technically breaking my own advice. (Being technically correct is the best kind of correct!)

You can take a shortcut with 3, if you, to pick an example, say, "IE doesn't give crit anymore, it just doubles your current crit rate", then you can either mute them if they respond negatively or continue to give advice in moderation if they appreciate it. Absolutely positively DON'T start advice off with, "hey, dumbass" "didn't you read the patch notes" "you're building wrong"