I want to stop sabo

I used to have this issue nd got over it, now its back nd worse than before. Does anyone know how to get over that? I am not jealous of them, its just i saw clearly my confidence really ruins my performance, its like i lose ability to even make simple plays.

I'm close to tears because i have PTSD nd league was the 1st game i played that (minus toxic people lol) was at least making me feel something.

Funny thing is, on other games like hitman sniper I'm platinum, but with teams nd people who can critique me, i seem to care too much. I either play really well or horrible. I even broke my "a" key playing this game, so i copy nd paste to write the letter a now lol.

I hd some amazing help from a gold player today advice wise, only to screw up my next 2 ranked games because i was worried i'd "fail" playing support - that is literally the easiest role for me. idk if this goes away or not.

at least there is PSOnline lol? </3