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Types of Players in Ranked Games

The First Law·11/5/2014, 4:32:55 PM·74 votes·8,582 views

The Laner The game may be 45 minutes in, the enemy team may be pushing at your nexus. None of this matters to the laner, for the laner will be in the lane he started in, eternally pushing in a never ending struggle. Do not hate the laner however, as no one ever told him he was allowed to leave. A distant cousin of the backdoorer, the laner wishes to live in a simpler time, when there was no teamfight phase.

The Backdoorer The backdoorer has a single goal in life: To kill the enemy turrets. He is fanatical in the goal, never straying from the turrets siren call. He will be your friend early and mid game, but your worst enemy late game. Alas, the backdoorer's hunger can never be satisfied, so even when the only turrets remaining are inside the enemy base, he will continue on his righteous path. He will never group for a teamfight, and as the game drags on will be caught and killed more easily as he has to venture alone further into enemy territory. Expect him to blame his teamates when he gets caught in a 3v1 for not "doing something" while he was dying.

The Doomsayer The score is 11-12 in the enemy teams favor. Suddenly it turns to 11-13. Before the announcer even finishes saying her line you see in allied chat "GG ". GEE GEE is the calling card of The Doomsayer, for he will always look to see how your team is losing. Every fight lost might as well be a game lost. The Doomsayer can easily be identified in the pregame lobby, criticizing everyones champion picks and declaring how the game is lost before it even begins. One day he dreams of there being a surrender vote during champ select.

Mr. Invincible The game always starts out well for Mr. Invincible. He went 5-0 during the laning phase and not a single enemy champion can 1v1 him. He charges headfirst into the enemy jungle looking for prey to kill because no one can stand up to Mr. Invincible. Sadly, our fearless leader never learned that League of Legends is a team game. Eventually the enemy predicts Mr. Invincible's strategy and starts ambushing him 3v1. Slowly, as Mr. Invincible abandons his team time and time again to go looking for a fight, his leads slips away further and further until he is 6-8. R.I.P Mr. Invincible, alas you were only mortal.

117 Comments

Drunk Rummate11/5/2014, 4:55:10 PM49 votes

Hilarious (and true)! Mind if I add one of my own?

The Playmaker The Playmaker is an excellent teammate to have... when you're ahead. He will regularly make some of the greatest flashy plays to initiate a fight. Flashing for the hook with blitzcrank or thresh is childs play for The Playmaker. Unfortunately, The Playmaker does not have an off button, and even when your team is down thousands of gold or has no vision on the enemy team you will see him flashing over walls to his death and pulling fed enemies into your carries. Sadly, his good intentions will be the death of us all.

Erotic Fantasies11/6/2014, 12:06:15 AM31 votes

The Sleeper A distant cousin to the laner, the sleeper is an intriguing player as the sleeper is one part feeder, two parts wanderer, and one part play maker. The sleeper usually is found picking any role that isn't bot lane. At first sight the sleeper may appear to the average baddie, starting the game by going 0-3 in first 10 mins with out a single word spoken or ping pinged. However the sleeper seems to get better with every passing moment, and is now glued to CSing after losing tower 12 minutes in. Yet that all changes when the sleeper suddenly gets a kill and is now pinging "on the way" to gank another lane. Five minutes later, the sleeper is now 6-3.

How did this happen? nobody knows, but the sleeper is now very awake.

Pythagorean Thm11/5/2014, 5:41:26 PM24 votes

The Thrower This teammate, all things considered, is actually pretty good. The Thrower generally plays hypercarry champions like Master Yi, Katarina, Akali, and others. The Thrower tends to get an early lead on opponents. However, this is usually his downfall. His mechanical skill can't make up for the fact that he's overconfident and he's a terrible shotcaller. You'll find the Thrower trying to solo baron without sweeping it, attempting to 1v3, and making other stupid decisions. His bad calls will end up costing you the game.

The Curator11/5/2014, 6:36:29 PM24 votes

The Wanderer Lanes mean nothing to The Wanderer. Coming from dota, that game where the jungler is a support, and the other support goes from one end of the map to the other. That is what you will see The Wanderer doing, leaving the ADC to go gank mid, perhaps even go further to top before returning back to the ADC five, even ten minutes later. Naturally, such a play-style is alien to the average League player, and The Wanderer will get much flak during the course of the game, and whether succeeding or failing, everyone will hate The Wanderer.

timesphere11/5/2014, 8:22:27 PM22 votes

The backdoorer;

TeemoHunter133711/5/2014, 7:04:25 PM17 votes

The Pinger

Nothing stops the Pinger from Pinging. wheter its your adc getting ganked by 3 people with no hopes of the escape. The pinger will ping the adc to becareful. little does the pinger know the adc has no chance of escaping and therefore making his pings useless. Keep Pinging, Pinger Man.

Slaaneshine11/6/2014, 2:29:07 AM16 votes

The Silent One

This is that guy who locks in his champion with little delay in champion select. Someone... specialized, like Zilean, or Hecarim. Usually a champion with excessive speed and/or dashes. They win lane, downright with no contest who was the winner, or gank so much that the enemy is either too stupid or too afraid to get too far away from the safety of the turret. In mid game they kill anyone in sight, working well with the team usually as the initiator. Late game the single, lone ping in his username picks the objective, and rarely does anyone deny it. And throughout the whole game, he says nothing in chat. Not even a GG as the enemy nexus explodes from surrender.

Thats Frosty11/5/2014, 6:15:55 PM16 votes

Pretty sweet, ima add one too

The Diamond Adc main "Smurf"

We've all seen them, we know them as the Diamond Adc main smurf. They call adc in champ select, they keep repeating the same thing over and over again, "Im a Diamond smurf I main adc". 99% of the time you will see this person playing vayne because you know "Doublelift". Sadly to the teams demise, 99% of these people are not actually diamond smurfs who main adc, they just really don't want to support. You will see them stand and auto their tank, you will see them tumble into the enemy team, they will try to 1v5 the entire team. At the end of game you will always see "Team to heavy for me to carry" or "Trash team"

Dream of Diamond "Mr.Smurf", dream on

ZebrazGame11/5/2014, 8:54:52 PM14 votes

The Believer Nothing discourages this guy. When you have an afk, are down a lot of kills, or just doing bad in general this guy will say, "we got this guys, they will throw, I can feel it." This is also the same guy who is doing all the feeding on your team.

Kats Pajamas11/5/2014, 10:57:41 PM13 votes

#The AFK'r

...

Keevalroy11/5/2014, 9:57:29 PM12 votes

The Farmer The Farmers typically lock in champions like Nasus or Singed without saying a single word for the entirety of the game, allowing their minds to go into a state of perfect zen as they focus completely on minions. While having the highest farm in the game by a substantial margin, these players will have minimal interaction with the enemy team - sometimes even their lane opponent is completely ignored.

This is where your team can shine or crumble, as you have someone who has doubled the next highest player's farm finally breaking their concentration to teamfight with a full build, or someone who cannot break the concentration and continues to farm top lane as your nexus turrets are being taken.

OblongOtter11/5/2014, 8:36:22 PM12 votes

The Miser

Ok, you guys go push towers, let me take these wraiths. I know you guys engaged but this CS is really important. Thanks for ganking but I gotta clear these creeps first. I know they're taking our towers but I'm only 20 gold away from my BT.

OneSlickPhony11/6/2014, 12:39:44 AM11 votes

The Blamer This type of player never does anything wrong... or so he thinks. Constantly putting down teammates for his mistakes, you will easily find The Blamer in his natural habitat: sitting in the fountain, typing to the jungler about how trash he is for not ganking his lane. The Blamer is common in the middle and bottom lanes, constantly overextending and being sure to harass his jungler while he waits to respawn. You will know there is a Blamer on the enemy team once you see "gg bad jungler never ganks please report him" pop up in chat. Be wary of responding with "ok, I'll report him", as Blamers feed on attention. Once he reads those words on his Alienware laptop that his parents bought for him, his hunger for attention and the harassment of the jungler will increase. In extreme cases, The Blamer can actually convince his entire team to bully and report the jungler which leads to tilt or even bans for said jungler. There is an old saying, "If you enjoy playing a team-reliant jungler such as Nautilus, beware The Blamer".

Shanghaied Jack11/6/2014, 12:08:20 PM9 votes

*The * Socialist

The Socialist is the one that opens up with a quirky remark like: "Good luck, have fish" or a movie quote. He presides skillfully in his lane, taking ample time to chat between his minion farm. Often sacrificing a creep score for a good "LOL" by the /all chat. He is friendly and welcoming of everything that comes his way, and takes all ailments and misjudged skillshots in stride.

Surprisingly, the Socialist at times will recommend tactics to the enemy team. Knowing no bounds of his potential 'enemy assistance.' But when push comes to shove, he'll find his way around and lead onward with a smile on his face and sarcasm in his typing.

The Socialist will always be friendly, even when the GG's have gone out and the niceties have turned to cruel remarks. He'll compliment the clutch plays and recommend improvements to any left in the chat. The Socialist is there for the fun, unaffected by the rage of the l33t.

Alljoy11/5/2014, 4:41:02 PM8 votes

This is golden.

ScalyManChard11/6/2014, 8:03:15 AM8 votes

The Starving Baby Astute players can watch for signs of The Starving Baby at champ select, typically locking in hard carries with great enthusiasm. The Starving Baby, having yet to develop a sense of self, sees himself as a Mr. Invincible but is easily distinguished. The Starving Baby is most readily identified by the sudden tantrums thrown whenever a champion besides himself or another carry acquires a kill or creep score in his presence. His motor skills are still developing, and so he is unable to feed himself - but has a grasp of language rudimentary enough to blame you for his 0/3 record and 42 CS at 17 minutes. Listen for his cries of "DONT TAKE MY CS11!!" or "WTF YOU TOOK KILL GG", his way of thanking you for Vault Breaking that Katarina out of Death Lotus.

The Magnet The Magnet is often a fairly competent, well-rounded player. Their competence is equaled ONLY by their love of Crankjobs, Hooks, Anchors, Hearts, Axes and all other pulls. Watch as they deftly dodge lasers, land clutch plays and stutter-step their way inches from victory before deftly maneuvering between minions to perfectly catch that Blitz Hook. It's truly impressive. Can be identified by the sighs of their teammates when they pick a squishy midlaner, ADC or Zilean support and the tears when the enemy team selects Blitzcrank. They typically refuse to play Braum, Alistar or Leona because it'd be unfair for the enemy team. In their spare time, can often be found flashing into Dark Binding.

BastionKross11/6/2014, 1:01:50 AM7 votes

The Build Critic This guy got his item builds from a top rated guide, and you should've too if you wanted to avoid his wrath. The Build Critic is constantly tabbing, watching his team's purchases with an eagle eye. Did Mordekaiser start with a Doran's Blade? Is Jinx stacking a Tear? Does Zed appear to be assembling a Warmogs? If so, expect these kinds actions to bring The Build Critic out of his hiding place and into the chat box, letting everyone know gold is going to waste. The Build Critic wishes nothing more than to have complete control of the team's purchases, and relishes the chance to give buying advice, solicited or not.

PL5511/5/2014, 10:42:03 PM5 votes

The Guy who needs to shut up Always on the /all chat the entire game, starts off with something nice, "GL HF". At first blood GWNTSU will always say either "WOW get rekt bronze noob" or "wow so lucky" depending on the situation. This person usually has two situations, the winning response or losing response. After each kill, if GWNTSU is winning you can expect, "wow uninstall game bronze noob" and right before defeat screen "GG EZ" in your /all chat. However, in the losing situation you can expect to see "wow wtf you are so lucky" or "you suck _____ you only got fed cuz you got ganked so much 1v1 me noob" in your all chat". Like Teemo, few people like this person.

Mikal Pikal11/5/2014, 8:54:08 PM5 votes

The Complainer

The Complainer is never happy and can come from any lane with the possible exception of support. He complains about literally everything, good or bad. The jungler made a good gank and killed the laner, but before the jungler could even type "gj" in chat, The Complainer had already stated "wtf ks." He is also known to complain, sometimes in all chat, about allies' item builds, KDA, missed skill shots, etc.

The complainer is not usually the best nor the worst, but will give his team mates headaches to be sure. When The Complainer is in the adc role, the support would be best served to immediately mute as no matter how fed he comes a single kill or accidental cs by the support will cause a verbal outlash from The Complainer.

BigDaddySenpaiii11/6/2014, 12:17:47 PM5 votes

The Bronze V Smurf

He may try to trick you into thinking his main is a D, P or Challenger. He will tell you in champ select how good he is and what lane you will give him.

It doesn't take long for you to realize this is no smurf. You are playing silver opponents. He is making basic mechanical mistakes. He doesn't ward, he has no map awareness, he is missing easy CS, and he is losing his lane even without enemy jungle ganks.

Usually he will present the qualities of some of the other types listed as things go downhill. You see, there is a reason he's getting stomped and he isn't it apparantly.

Trinityunicorn11/5/2014, 11:58:34 PM4 votes

One day he dreams of there being a surrender vote during champ select.

This cracked me up too funny!

Sammystorm11/6/2014, 10:12:36 AM4 votes

The Smurf

Commonly mistaken for a little blue man but don't be deceived this person comes from the deepest darkest realm of elo hell, Diamond 1. You will always be able to tell who this person is by the vast swathe of broken turrets and champion heads left in their wake. The games with this person rarely make it to 20 minutes and the other team is so demoralized that even the canon minions uninstall the game. You will never here any fighting or back lash but instead everyone will just be along for the ride awe struck by this person's prowess. Pray that you get this person on your team.

Col Frogfoot11/6/2014, 5:00:08 AM3 votes

All in all I think the doomsayer is the worst player. Those toxic a**holes who call GG because you didn't ban a certain champ. They call the game and blame the banner for the rest of the game. Just annoying to no end. Well written post man I enjoyed it

Mecha MaIphite11/5/2014, 9:20:38 PM3 votes

The "Carry" The Carry is not always a player, but sometimes a mentality that takes over for whoever has the most kills on the team. Regardless of the player's actual skill, he will believe that he is single-handedly winning this game, and often command his teammates despite having no knowledge of their respective roles. Listening to the "carry" will result in a failure to perform your own role, whereas ignoring him will result in him raging and usually AFKing.

SpecterVonBaren11/7/2014, 12:39:25 AM2 votes

The Teamfight Rocky

The Teamfight Rocky is a player that you will hate and love. He's the Thresh that can't land a hook for his adc all through laning phase, he's the top lane tank that ends up feeding the Riven 4 straight kills, he's the jungler that can't gank for crap. So why do you love him? Because once laning ends, the Rocky has finished his "training" and has now become a super hero, perfect initiations, mad plays, unbelievable saves, the Teamfight Rocky either has low confidence in themselves or just had a run of bad luck, because while they may make you loathe them early on, with a team behind them, they are unstoppable. On a side note, if the game is ARAM then the Teamfight Rocky is always loved.

Nucleophilic atk11/5/2014, 11:02:25 PM2 votes

The guy named LaceUp23 Always can count on him to win lane by a landslide, basically turning the game into a 4v5. After taking turret, he essentially begins to roam and get his other lanes fed, just racking up the assist. By this point, around 30 mins, LaceUp23 has a full build after securing 3 dragons and a baron while being 10/0/12. LaceUp23 then rallies his troops together to stop on the enemy team, taking mid and bot lane inhibitors. After grabbing some jungle creeps, securing a 4th dragon, and backing for items (giving double lane winions a chance to push), LaceUp23 leads his team through top lane to destroy the nexus, smashing any opponent in his way.

Ophelmark11/6/2014, 5:17:51 PM2 votes

Can you add the WannabeG type? The one that tries to play like a pro streamer and never thinks for himself.Got an Udyr yesterday that was still farming his jungle when we were quite behind due to his fixation with Trick2g. When he tried to ''carry'' the other team was so ahead that he couldn't even solo Gangplank.Fizz

And i don't think this only happens in ranked.

Squirvizard11/6/2014, 8:27:31 PM2 votes

The Backdoorer "Expect him to blame his teamates when he gets caught in a 3v1 for not "doing something" while he was dying."

These guys, of all people, pushes lane without wards, and expects US to do something while he's getting caught out, and god forbid when we do push, without vision, get caught out ourselves, and we still get blamed. If he would've bought wards, he could've seen the enemy team coming, and could back out, wasting their time, and not dying. Without vision, we can't push without getting caught out. Without vision, YOU can't push without getting caught out. Don't use the excuse "I'm trying to keep my presence on the map" or some bullsh**, get your head out of your ass, YOU are losing the game.

I've met a lot of these guys when playing Leeg.

Let this be a lesson guys, before you splitpush, BUY WARDS! Heck, buy wards no matter what you're doing, they're only 75 gold, so cheap, get 'em while you're still in base! >:l

Dreddeth11/6/2014, 9:54:27 PM1 votes

The Co-Opper

Never, ever plays anything but bots. Is usually concerned that versus will result in them not having fun, whether by being trolled, being stomped incredibly hard, or being trolled while being stomped incredibly hard. Has all sorts of bad habits fostered with loving care by the AI, like not warding, not moving enough, not last-hitting, not having map-awareness, etc. etc. Tends to know absolutely nothing about the jungle other than "There's buffs in it, but the monsters can actually kill you, and whoever claims it is on call to gank."

Self-deprecating humor is some of the best, en't it?