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About the perception of toxicity

Barkhoof·11/15/2014, 2:08:35 PM·2 votes·389 views

Played a couple of games last night and I wanted to muse about an experience during a couple of them. Some notes about me: I play exclusively normals and usually end up playing against mid-silver/gold/occasional plat individuals. I don't experience ragers as much because people don't usually take normals seriously. I don't think of myself as good, don't rage and don't swear at people.

Twice people decided to toss some insults my way and getting to the heart of the matter, they basically said "If people don't earn my respect, they're not getting it".

"People have to earn my respect"

I know firsthand that if you treat others with respect FIRST it goes a long way to a more enjoyable experience. It's a fallacy that anonymity on the internet means you should speak your mind, consequences be damned. It's also silly to waste other people's time by trolling in a manner that isn't going to help progress the game for your team(IE, afking by the fountain and moving every once in a while to make sure you aren't kicked; who cares about out-of-meta-picks?). Please, take a new approach if you think people have to earn your respect.

"People deserve my respect because I don't know who is behind that other screen" "Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves."

2 Comments

Trinityunicorn11/15/2014, 8:06:21 PM2 votes

There's a few people like that though and I honestly do believe they deeply believe people don't deserve respect that they need to earn it. One doesn't have to say it to believe it, but all often it is demonstrated in their words and actions.

People especially say, teen to twenty something, often are throwing off parent's rules, if they find that they aren't working they reject them and often choose the opposite. Black and white thinking can do this too. For instance, say you've been TOLD, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Well that is a great guide for everyone really........unless.....you meet up with someone that doesn't adhere to that or doesn't respect others, then it doesn't work because they have no regard/respect for another being.

To me the CORE solution is for people to be able to experience THEMSELVES AS a sacred worthy being, then it all becomes clear and they KNOW that others are the same. People approach others may be working off the rule of do unto others or they may be not following a rule but an understanding and knowledge. They may not even know they know it. People that know it aren't as easily ruffled because its a very deep core learning.

IMO people deserve respect because.........inherently they are sacred beings. They are me, like me.

Like anyone else, I can get hooked by a crappy comment, but I will usually self correct, when the incident is over, I already know that I don't want to do that.

It is simple but because of the ego, people forget all the time. So two ways for people to get it is, be reminded by being around someone that knows this about you or remembering on your own. Much easier to stay focused if you are around others that know this about you.

So when people are devaluing others, I know they are inherently wrong, and I also know that both parties need to be valued for what they are. Not what they say, not what they do.

This is something that I see in a lot of Riot's policies. They don't immediately ban people because they know they are valuable.

The people that are having chat restriction problems and toxicity problems could self correct easily, but only if its corrected at a core belief will it be easy for them to change. That's my opinion on it anyway. As long as this diatribe of mine is, this IS the short shrift of it.

Eleshakai11/15/2014, 9:00:08 PM1 votes

There's a fallacy that in order to treat someone respectfully you have to respect them... and I think that is the biggest problem.

People do need to earn my respect. I give my respect to people who show they have earned it... but even if I don't respect someone I still treat them WITH respect. Because it would be not living up to the person that I wish to be to treat them otherwise.

And that I think is the real key... people just need to recognize that being respectful is a personal thing that has nothing to do with how much you do or do not respect someone. It has to do with who you are.