Games with favorite champion losing appeal, and need advice
I don't normally post on the forums, but I've reached a point of playing that has me question the motives I have for playing League of Legends. I'm no internet personality, pro, or even play ranked that often, but changes to the game and around my favorite champion have me noticing very disturbing reasons why I keep on playing.
Video games have been my central hobby for entertainment, and motivation to a lot of other things I do with my life. I'm quite knowledgeable when it comes to video game theory and very sharp when it comes to noticing why mechanics in a game are satisfying. Lately, in my blind games I have noticed either winning or losing so fiercely that it has me puzzled as to what truly makes the game for me, or if there was any skill to knowing my favorite champion in the first place. If so, then why do most of my victories seem hollow, like being put up against unskilled opponents, or getting out matched by several divisions?
As someone who has played a champ for several different seasons, perhaps it might be all the changes around the champion that make it unsatisfying. A recent core item nerf, changes to how many mobs are in the jungle, and elements in complete failures a rework are weighing heavily the usefulness and enjoyment I get from my go-to.
The big problem isn't one that can be solved with a few tips from mains, because now it is running too deep and breaking my immersion as to why I play the game as a whole. I am so busy trying to keep doing well with my champion, despite being in what could be their weakest ever place in many seasons, that I'm using the game to distract myself from issues in my real life. Compared to previous seasons it is now an absolute challenge, wrought with more RNG than ever in order to play a calculated game with a single champion (RNG heavily leaning to the types of dragons that spawn through the game, in particular). This is ironic, as their kit is the only one reliant on dragon-- as well as team mates-- undeniably more than in past seasons. I used to be able to be a force on my own, a real one man army, and that was the power fantasy I could identify with the champion. But since the changing seasons I've had to slowly change my play style into a far more team based one, but that is an issue with playing with random people. It is compounded by how convoluted his kit has become, as one of the reasons I used to enjoy it was it was simple enough to understand, and others that I played with didn't need to understand much in order for them to make the best decisions they could. Due to my high mastery with the champion it is embarrassing how harshly I lose, and it's caused me to refuse to play with friends I know to spare myself the disappointment of dragging them down with me if I did poorly, as well as the frustration I would get when they would make poor decisions from the lack of understanding of what my favorite champion can actually do.
I could go into the in game details and how they've changed my champion, or even reveal them by name, but that would detract from the crisis I'm facing. I've uninstalled this game many times, only to reinstall it and try again to see if things will change, but the nature of any change comes from random elements in the game that betrays the reason I found the games enjoyable. Instead of playing for enjoyment I've began doing a futile grind for self worth in achieving a seemingly impossible challenge, so frequent that I fear it may be to distract me from hardships in my life. I keep hitting a wall that I haven't in previous seasons, and it has me at a point thinking I might as well deactivate my account to permanently stop playing (or start over in order to not have the option to play the champion to force me into other options, but then building a new account and buying all the essentials to playing is too time intensive and I would default on quitting all together).
