The Great Lee Sin vs. Zed Battle

Edit: : Oops! What moron posted this in the wrong section of the boards at first and gave it the wrong title? You suck, Aquaman.

: Welcome back, all you miserable viewers who are not me! It is I, the grand executioner, Draven himself, coming at you LIVE from the Fields of Justice! Today, an age old debate will finally be settled! Who's better? Who's more OP? Who starts the most QQ threads on the LoL boards? Who-

: Draven! Stop grandstanding! Get on with it, idiot!

: Well, it looks like we have some haters in the audience. Security, get rid of him.

: Yeah, um... hey, Darius? Could you, um, leave now? The boss just said-

: Shut up, Naut.

: ANYWAY, we will finally get an answer today. Who's the best... Draven, or Draaaaaaaven!

: Do your God-damned job, you worthless-

: Right, um, let's check up with Janna at the side lines! Janna?

: Draven, I'm the weather forecaster. I thought Sion and Sivir covered sports.

: They both called in sick after interviewing Twitch after that Piltover-Zaun match! Just do your job!

: Sure... Anyway, I'm here with the Kinoku order of Shen, Akali and Kennen. They have taken the roles of Lee's spokespeople as the blind monk himself meditates in his base before the match. Shen, what do you think about Lee's chances at winning the match?

: Oh, it's no contest. Lee has life-steal, a movement spell... he'll win. That traitor Zed will finally have justice brought upon him! HEAR THAT, ZED? You're going down!

: Shen... calm down.

: Right, um. Sorry about that. You'll hear more from Lee after he wins the match.

: Shen, don't freak out like last time..

: He killed my father!

: Right, well, moving on! Now, as I approach the purple nexus, I can see Syndra, who has appointed herself as Zed's spokeswoman. Um, Syndra, does Zed know that you're here?

: Oh, no you don't, you vixen! You don't get to take him from me! Zed will crush that blind moron, win, and we'll be together forever! You can't stop it! You can't stop ME! Hahahahaha!

: ...what?

: I mean, uh, hello, Janna! Yes, lovely weather we're having, isn't it? Zed will do fine. He'll win. Now go away, he's busy. Meditating. Oh, what I wouldn't give to join his 'meditation'. Oh, yeah...

: What the hell is wrong with you, Syndra. What the fu-

: No! No expletives! That kid with the fire-bear's parents would kill me if they heard a swear word on a show she watches! That kid gives me the creeps. Anyway, let's head down to the center of the field, where the referee has ushered out the two contestants. Of course, no one noticed because they're ninjas and all. I think. I don't really pay attention to things that don't involve me. Also, what you heard Darius say earlier was not a swear word! He said gosh darn!

Please don't hurt me.

: Alright, gentlemen. I want a fair fight. No runes, no summoner spells. Starting items only. Alright?

: Of course, Kayle.

: Whatever. Ready to die, monk?

: You wish.

: You've got this, Lee!

: Go, Zed!

: Alright, gentlemen. 3...2...1...

ksshhh

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