Since it's Valentines day soon, I figured I should post this here

#A Corporate Matter Episode: The Heart Wants What The Heart Wants

"Sir, when are you going to get around to addressing these issues? The players are getting restless."

"Me no see issue."

"Well then let me remind you. Edge of night is the most cancerous thing since Camille released. Everyone is unhappy with the Black Cleaver changes. Over half of the blood moon skins can't be used in their game mode. And adc in 2017, lul."

"Shhhhhh."

"We need t-"

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

"But sir."

"Corporate Mundo will do what me always do. Pretend nothing wrong and hope it all work out. Now, Corporate Mundo's favorite show on, come watch with boss."

"Hello and welcome to another episode of, The Heartseeker. Where we find out if Piltywood's most eligible Heartseeker can find true love. I'm your host, Jack Of Hearts Twisted Fate. Now let's meet our man."

"Wait, that's what this show is about. I thought I was going to be the next James bond."

"Me think he is so dreamy."

"Eh, not enough abs."

"Oh Heartseeker Lucian, you sure are a jokester. Alright, how about we give you some 1v1 time with the girls."

"Hi, I'm Heartseeker Ashe and I like my men calm cool and collected. I'm not looking for hot-blooded romance. Just someone to chill with."

"There has been some misunderstanding. Do you know where the exit is? And wait, aren't you already married to Tryndamere?"

"I'm a young independent Frost Queen. I can't just be tied down to one man. Besides, he constantly goes on his "barbarian guy retreats." But I know he really goes to rape pillage and plunder."

"Mind if I steal him for a sec, thanks. Hi, I'm Shauna and I think we would be a great match. We both love hunting evil. We are both vigilantes and we both look great in red."

"Why are you introducing yourself? We already know each other. There was that whole harrowing thing, remember? I mean, I do really like you. But I don't think it would work out."

"Mind if I steal him for a sec, thanks. Hi, my name's Annie and I wove playing with my care bear. His name is Tibbers. I think he would like you."

"Ok, what is this. Why are you trying to set me up with a little girl? Is this some kind of police sting? I already told you guys, those weren't mine."

"No, she's my niece. Come on Annie, I told you to stay out of the shot. Her mom made me watch after her, last minute. She had to go see some stupid sequel to some movie about boring colors. She told me she couldn't bring her daughter. Because when she took her to the first one everyone wouldn't stop giving her weird looks."

"I steal him for some seconds, thank you. My designation is Orianna. I like emotion, and killing."

"Ok, you are creeping me out. Listen, this isn't working, you don't understand. Sigh. Alright, I'll play along and try talking to some of you girls."

"..."

"Hi."

"..."

"What's your name and what are you into?"

"..."

"Do you talk or, do anything?"

"!!!"

"Mind if I steal him for a sec, thanks. Hi, I'm Quinn. I like hunting people down. Being able to one-shot champions despite being an adc. I like birds. And I like also being a top laner, mid laner, jungler and possible support."

"Hey, you're pretty cool. I haven't seen you before, are you new around here?"

"NO, NOT GO WITH HER. BIRDS EVIL AND STUPID! Go with metal girl, if she ever try leave. You just pull out key and she stop moving. Not hop on bird and fly away. It practical."

"I can't do this, why can't you guys understand. I'm married."

"GASP!"

"This episode directed by Mr. Shamalamadingdong."

"Dude, she died and got her soul stolen years ago. You need to get over it."

"Look, I promised her. And I'm not gonna break. Sorry to disappoint, I know you all wanted this beautiful body."

"Oh come on Lucian, we can work through this."

"I can help you forget her."

"Come with me, we can hunt her killer together and- Wait, where did he go."

"Yes, you are the one my heart truly seeks."

"Oooh, you are charging my arrow." "Makes out passionately!"

"What is going on here!"

"Oh man I'm sorry, I thought we were done filming."

"But, what about your wife?"

"I promised her I would never be with another girl other than her. Never said anything about a man."

"Shimshamaringrong strikes again!"

"UGH! This ruins everything."

"That is so disappointing."

"Come on girls, how about we go get some Totinos."

"I do not eat."

"Don't worry, I'm sure we can find plenty else for you to do."

"Uh, you are going to empty my quiver.

"If you keep this up, you are going to face The Culling."

"Alright, I've seen more than I ever needed to. Luckily, that's all the time we have. Be good to each other, tune in next week to find out if any of our girls find love. Or if they actually eat the darn pizza pocket. I need some eye bleach."