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Parents Always Tell me to Get Off League for Frivolous Reasons. Help?

Claret Tree·4/4/2016, 11:24:17 PM·7 votes·2,559 views

I'll start by saying that I'm not old enough to move out yet, as I'm in high school. Moving out is not an option.

I picked up League about two weeks ago due to friend feedback and can't seem to get enough of it. I really like it, a lot. I'm still getting a feel for the game and am very nervous about screwing up my team. I'm a very nervous player and me feeling like I lost the game for my team kills me. What's making it worse are the frequent 'report blitz' or 'report ashe' remarks I get because I leave for ten+ minutes during a game.

No, I don't leave every game. I leave about one game per 2 days and I usually play three games a day.

My parents aren't very strict about the internet, though they do set the wi-fi to shut off at nine. I really try and work around their schedules. When it gets nearer to dinner I ask how long we'll have until dinner is prepared. If I don't have an hour, I won't play a game. I also don't start a game after eight because I don't want to leave midway.

I always come out after a game and ask if they need me to do anything. That way, I can get it all done before I start a new one.

Dishes? Done.

Garbage? Done.

Dog? Done.

I believe that I try hard to work around them so I can play a game without having to leave.

This Saturday I was playing a game as Blitzcrank. The game was extremely close, it had gone on for fifty minutes. They'd stolen Baron from us and we were on a downward slope. My mother comes in at that point and says that lunch is ready. She'd started making it while I was in-game. I asked her to give me about fifteen minutes---I didn't know how long the game would take--and she got really angry. She explained that all I had to do was 'pause the game and come to lunch'. I tried to explain that I couldn't pause the game, as it was online and I was playing with real people. It was a quiet Saturday, we weren't busy and didn't have to go anywhere.

I tried to argue with her and she pulled out the router. I was really frustrated. When we ate lunch, I explained that leaving during a game like that could get me banned. I tried to say that without me it had become less enjoyable for my team and also for our opposition. I told her we would now probably lose because I was the only tank on our team and it was now a 4v5.

My mother simply told me that I probably wouldn't lose, and that people won't mind if I need to leave. She then game me a speech about how it's just a game and that real life takes priority over these games. She then explained that I live in her house so I listen to her rules. If she tells me to do something I must immediately do it, as it is more important than League. My father was a little more understanding, (as he is a gamer too) but still gave me the same reason.

I don't know how our team did it, but we won. The game only lasted five more minutes. The people afterword were nice, I messaged all of them politely and apologised, and none got mad.

Today, however, it was worse. I was home alone and playing with one of my school friends, and my mom got back from work ten minutes into the game. It was at a stalemate at that point, I was Blitz again. My mom bursts in and asks me to wash the dishes. I ask her if it can wait till the end of the match, and she asks how long it will take. I say I don't know, and she gets angry.

My friend is on Skype and hears all of it. My mom gets angry and starts calling League some pretty negative things, and telling me that I need to do something when she says I need to do it, and not after. She then states that if the current trend continues, she'll have me uninstall the game because, and I quote, it's making me 'rebellious'.

I am a straight A student in school, I don't do drugs, I follow their rules, and I feel like I'm compromising on everything and they're compromising on nothing. I try and sit them down and talk with them about, but they will hear none of it.

I cleaned the dishes as quick as possible and returned to my game to find they were winning by a landslide. Honestly, they were a good team and we'd probably have lost even if I was there, but I felt horrible. At the end, our team's Fizz and Malphite both stated 'report blitz'. I didn't want to make excuses so I just left.

I'm worried because I only play blind pick normals, but I'm worried that once I get to level 30 and play ranked this is gonna be a major problem. I honestly don't know what to do.

Any suggestions would be appreciated, thank you!

23 Comments

Kirurgo4/4/2016, 11:32:44 PM9 votes

Your mom honestly just sounds authoritarian and like she needs everything to be in her control. You need to try and sit down with her and your father and explain calmly that this game requires 30-60 minutes of uninterrupted and committed play time to fully enjoy and experience the game. You shouldn't try to say that the game comes before dishes or any other chores. Perhaps requesting a daily list of chores or expectations which must be completed before you play league and a more predictable meal schedule would solve this.

When you look at it from your mother's perspective it's hard to not see the game as frivolous and pointless. You're putting a lot of effort into making sure you can always play the game. This might be cause of concern that you should have other interests. When your mother said "[you] probably wouldn't lose, and that people won't mind if [you] need to leave." she's basically showing that she doesn't have to give a shit about what you think or say. Which is 100% true. Hopefully you can get her to react reasonably or voice her true issues with you playing the game by requesting a day in advance what must be done before you can hop on league.

Stephenizgod4/5/2016, 12:03:08 AM6 votes

Well you probably won't like it buuuut:

  • Listen to your parents, until you move out, it is their house their rules.
  • This one is unfortunate, but you should probably play less games a day, perhaps 1 maybe 2. This will lessen the chance of your Mom needing you to do something while in a game.
  • Inform your parents before you start a game and ask them if there is anything that needs to be done because you are going to start a game and you can't really leave the computer.
  • Play ARAMS, they are shorter and taken far less seriously than Summoner's Rift.
ltmetal4/5/2016, 3:12:33 AM4 votes

Sit your dad down, have a short and respectfully toned vent with him and see if he can talk to your mom for you. If you want to suggest something specific, ask if you can work out an arrangement with your mom where you ask her in person or by text once an hour if there's anything she needs, so she can tell you what's about to be happening and you can plan around it. Obviously, I can't pretend to know everything about your situation. Maybe there are some other angles, so consider everything carefully before you take action. I sympathize with you though, that's the truth.

DrCyanide4/5/2016, 12:08:30 AM3 votes

It sounds like you're taking every reasonable step you can.

The only thing I can think of is possibly compare leaving a game to being on a school sports team and leaving a game part way through with no replacement for you and no time out. Tell her you're OK not playing, and you're OK with doing everything she asks after the game, but that you view finishing a match you've started as a commitment which you should see to the end. You're not being rebellious, you're being dependable and responsible.

Elphrihaim4/5/2016, 3:14:31 AM3 votes

My parents understood the concept of "I am in a game with real people there is no pause button", and "If I leave it ruins the experience for 9 people"-- so they were relatively open with me working out a system--

But they also made the reasonable request that I ask them before I start playing if I can have the next 45 minutes free. (Yes league games don't take 45 minutes, but if I say 45 then it ends up taking 50 it's much more managable than if I say 40 and it takes 50)

So I would recommend doing that (I think somebody earlier suggested this too).

If that isn't enough to satisfy them then I don't know what to say :C

Jon11744/4/2016, 11:27:35 PM2 votes

The best advice...Listen to your parents,because at the end of the the day its their house their rules, it may mean that league will be harder to play because of it but trust me.....its for the best*[slayer-pantheon-thumbs]*

Doaenel4/4/2016, 11:40:07 PM2 votes

ez solution, slap her across the face and say ''bitch, gtfo, league is my life now, get with it or suck it idc.''

kétchùp chìps4/5/2016, 12:02:58 AM2 votes

It's great that you're already being responsible about trying to get chores and other obligations out of the way before starting games. Perhaps next time you can try and talk to them again over dinner or something about the time frames required for the gameplay and the commitment you make to your team. See if you can agree to set specific times during the week when it is purely your time to play with no interruptions.

I hope you can work something out, good luck!

LLColeJ4/5/2016, 5:12:21 AM2 votes

Dog? Done.

Gross

The Deckowner4/5/2016, 12:22:46 AM1 votes

I am also a high school student, I started last year and my parent doesn't care about me playing the game too much so I dont get much of these problem. but when I was a bit younger? hell. Every paretn will be like: 1.they dont understand u are playing a game with 9 other human beings and u leaving will ruin their next hour or even longer. 2.They dont understand league isnt just a video game, it is competetive. 3.they dont understand it is a online game

what is worse? they actually understand all of these but they DONT CARE

Myrmiron4/5/2016, 3:30:25 AM1 votes

Looks like you're fcked m8. Tech illiterate parents are the worst. I was in your situation some years ago when I played WoW. My solution was to only raid after dinner.

Maybe try to explain your mom that it's not other people banning you for leaving the games, but an automated bot that doesn't give a flying fuck if your team took your leave seriously or not. That should shut down that "it's just a game" bollocks.

But yeah sorry to hear that, took me a good 2 years to make my mom understand that I actually play with real people that take the game seriously and don't appreciate me leaving.

Moesnd4/5/2016, 3:54:31 AM1 votes

Try listening to your parents

FireCup7/15/2017, 3:43:26 PM1 votes

Compare it to football. Explain it this way: " imagine a football game with 5 players on each side. Our team worked hard and is winning, but i need to leave due to a minor issue and there are NO REPLACEMENTS. The players on my team will now all lose because of that and will ruin their day." if she still doesn't understand... SLAP HER ASS BETCH
Teemo

CreationFlaw4/5/2016, 4:58:53 PM1 votes

Wait, so why aren't you old enough to move out?

Lauchmelder4/6/2016, 9:54:04 AM1 votes

My parents used to be the same, but then I told them one Thing. They are football fans (*Soccer for you 'Muricans) and I told them this: "If I play soccer and we have only 11 Players available for a game and I have to leave due to some minor issues do you think my Team will be pleased?"

Never had a problem afterwards.

Killer of Poros4/5/2016, 2:50:12 AM1 votes

Just listen to them for now and then later on in life just ignore them.