My Team Thinks This Game is a Tea Party

Every once in a while, Riot gathers into a room, flips through their old troll tapes, and realizes they need some new victims. And so they stick you with people who just leave you dumbfounded. (These are the games they watch on their lunch break.)

Rarely, however, do we have the luxury of experiencing four teammates--who have not queued together--who are thinking the exact same, wrong thing, all at mostly the same time, staggered just enough to make it truly mind-boggling.

I had the honor of experiencing such a phenomenon recently and their personality (as I can only describe it as one personality) can be summarized as so:

"Oh..? You want dragon? Well... I mean I don't want to have to hurt you so please, be my guest. Maybe we can have the next one?"

"No, we can't have the second dragon? You need it? Well... I guess I can understand that. But it does make me a little upset, especially since the five of us have all been waiting here for an entire minute and the three of you just showed up!"

"Third dragon too? Don't you think you are being a little selfish? I might want to hurt you if you don't start sharing! You do NOT want to make me put down this croissant."

"FOURTH dragon? Now you are just out of line! ...But adc just went back to base because she needed a biscuit to go along with her full health and I see a huge wave of minions in bot lane that I really would like so that I can afford to take myself to the next 50 Shades of Grey film. So I'll be right back... But wait to take drag til I come back to fight you! (By myself, of course)."

"Oh. Baron? Well, at this point, I just don't want to get my hands dirty."

[Last season, best worst player award went to the Tristana I had in a ranked match. Wherever you are bro, you will always be remembered. This gem goes to the enemy blue buff level one, by himself, and promptly dies. And since this obviously didn't work out, he repeats the action upon his revive. I don't need to tell you how this went.]