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A Game Ends a Year

Enkaede·10/30/2014, 2:01:18 AM·7 votes·1,274 views

As someone currently suffering from extreme low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression, my coping mechanisms involve playing music and video games, namely League of Legends. After having a wonderfully peaceful day at my treatment facility / school, I thought it would be nice to work on my ranked placement while I was in a good mental state.

Well, I lost. I played poorly and my opponent laner did not. I have no problem with losing, because I feel like the 1v1 aspect was very informative. What I do have a problem with is toxicity. Instantly, the jungler started bashing me, calling me trash and worthless, that sort of thing. The support soon began joining in, and before I knew it, my entire team had turned their backs on me because I had one poor match up. But nobody else won either. For some reason, I was blamed for every lane losing. Every time somebody would fail a play or combo, I was yelled at more and more. I always thought that muting your entire team was just a joke spread around, but I had to legitimately mute my entire team to stop myself from crying. After the match, I was called toxic and reported, even though I had said nothing negative back to my so called team mates.

I just don't know what to do anymore. The few friends I have spend their time playing this game, but after that, I don't want to anymore. If losing a single match makes me worthless, r%%%%%ed, and trash, I don't want to play anymore. But I love this game, I really do. November marks my first year since starting, and it really has helped me in the past. It lets me relieve stress and talk to the few people I called friends at my old school. I love the team dynamics and the strategy and the mechanical challenge, and I think many others do as well. But I don't think it's worth enduring through what I experienced today. I want to keep playing and improving, but I just can't bear to face that kind of situation again.

I don't really know what I wanted to accomplish with this post, but thank you to anyone reading. I'd just like to remind everyone that League might be a game but the players and what you say to them are real. And on that note, good bye, League of Legends. It's been a great year, and i'm sorry it couldn't have ended on a higher note. I just hope that game will be the last of it's kind, just as it will be my last. Farewell.

-C's Bellboy

18 Comments

EMOFRATPARTY10/30/2014, 2:17:21 AM6 votes

On top of what Burgee said, there's nothing wrong with taking some time off. Try out some other games you might like, or maybe even play some games you aren't sure about. If and when you come back to League, ease yourself back into it by only playing with people you know.

If you ever need another friendly face to play with, feel free to add me when you decide to start up again. I'd be happy to make League a positive experience for you.

Burgee10/30/2014, 2:13:37 AM3 votes

It won't be your last toxic game.

Things to prevent your team being toxic in the future:

-If you start losing your lane, stop trying to 1v1 your opponent and just CS. CS CS CS. You can stop a losing lane by outfarming your opponent. You can't stop a losing lane if you keep trying to 1v1 him and keep losing.

-Your team turned toxic because you did poorly and you cost them their time. If you were mid and you fed your lane, their jungler could focus elsewhere. Their mid could roam and snowball other lanes. If you lost your lane first, you very well may have been the reason your team lost.

-There is pressure to do well in this game. It's a team game where each individual's performance makes a huge difference. At even ELO with your teammates, nobody can pick up your slack if you play poorly. Enjoy the pressure, let it make you better.

-If you can't take your team's criticism then just mute them all and play your own game.

If you're losing your lane in a huge way and going 0/4 0/5 or worse, you need to assess your play and you're going to take shit. If you're just barely losing but hanging on from behind, your team has no ground to stand on when it comes to bashing you.

Maestro8010/30/2014, 1:21:37 PM2 votes

The best thing I've done all month in this game is disable "All" chat. Also, now, the FIRST TIME somebody on my team says anything even REMOTELY annoying or insulting, to me or anyone else, they're muted. My blood pressure has never been better. I cannot recommend this approach enough.

7ha7guy77710/30/2014, 2:20:59 AM1 votes

ranked tends to be more toxic than normals because there's more at stake. if you still want to do pvp, it might be less stressful to play normals because a minor amount of ip is at stake instead of LP. not everyone is toxic, but for every nice player, there's bound to be some toxic ones out there. if you insist on playing ranked, it might help to do 5v5 teams with people you know.

FluxBound10/30/2014, 3:45:13 AM1 votes

honestly, not talking makes things a lot better. If you make some plays or get a tower, they usually just shut up. This is from an ADC and top islander's perspective tho.

xDingwithsalad10/30/2014, 3:46:07 AM1 votes

just mute everyone, looks like i solved your problem

GROMMI10/30/2014, 8:52:26 AM1 votes

Hey man, don't let it get you down. When I did placements and place gold from ex Diamond, I just had to mute everyone from their toxicity and did my thing. I'm back at Diamond again, and I really wouldn't want you to miss out because of some douchebag's immaturity.

Keep at it, man! You're awesome. Add me sometime, I'd love to play.

Angry Monster10/30/2014, 9:52:28 AM1 votes

So here is some advice for you. DO NOT PLAY RANKED.

You are already admit to not being a balanced individual. You are also lacking coping skills. Why would you go into a high stress environment like ranked? Ranked is not for learning but testing and proving your skills.

No one should be jumped on by the whole team. Though it is hard for some people to see the difference between being trolled and a player having a bad game.

I am pretty sure you are not telling everyone exactly what happened. You make think you remember how the game went but you may have done things that look like you were trolling.

You know about your personal issues. You should avoid putting your self in situations where others are going to be critical of you. Ranked matters a lot to some people especially end of the season. Your mistake is entering ranked know this already and thinking the world cares about you.

Burgee10/30/2014, 2:15:49 AM1 votes

To take it one step further:

Stop giving a shit about what assholes on the internet say to you. If they report you and you said nothing toxic, then you have absolutely nothing to worry about.

If you let E-badasses ruin your day by talking shit to you over a meaningless game, you're going to have a rough go of things in general.

apuig10/30/2014, 2:00:17 PM1 votes

mute them all and try to play with friends

ThatWerido10/30/2014, 3:30:32 PM1 votes

Tell your team to communicate with you with pings at the start, then hide chat bar for the entire game. On a related note, if I get into a crappy matchup as Gangplank I just max oranges, buy avarice blade and farm for the first 20 mins.

Only Mid Veigar10/30/2014, 4:28:27 PM1 votes

Switch to a not-competitive game and you'll have a much better result.

Not to be offensive but I really don't understand people who try to find relaxation in competitive team games with random people.

Narasimha10/30/2014, 4:38:38 PM1 votes

I mean, I don't want to be that guy, but if you feel this bad over what people said to you on the Internet, you're going to have one tough life ahead of you. And don't give me that 'anxiety and depression' crap. I've been there, I've done that, and I got over it. You can only wallow in self-pity for so long. Eventually, you're going to have to realize that you have to move on. As you said. This is a game. If this is effecting you so much, then you're not going to last very long in the real world.

TeemoHunter133710/30/2014, 6:35:29 PM1 votes

sounds to me like u want the D.

MysticWav10/30/2014, 6:45:41 PM1 votes

I'd recommend finding a community of like-minded non-ragers that you can play 5's with. There's a couple good groups if you search the boards. Let me know if you need help finding any.

Drunk Rummate10/30/2014, 6:58:13 PM1 votes

Welcome to the real world. It isn't pretty. If you let something like that stop you from enjoying a hobby, you're going to run out of potential hobbies really fast.

Yes, people are occasionally toxic, childish, immature, or whatever you want to call it. They're suffering from their own insecurities and issues too, and they're just releasing their pain in a different way than you.

My advice OP, live your own life the way you see fit and don't let others make that decision for you. Don't be afraid of a hobby, but look forward to the joy you get out of it. People tend to remember bad experiences far better than joyful ones. It's just how human emotions work. Try to enjoy life to the best of your ability rather than stress yourself out over the negatives.