My Very First Placement Match

So, it started out OK. We had a top Illaoi, Mid Ahri, myself as Braum, a Lucian and a Xin. Things were nigh on equal, until the strangest thing happened....

So our Xin came down for a gank, and I'm not sure if the other team noticed, but he went right for the bush closest to their bot turret and just waited. "Fair play," I thought, "we'll see where this goes." And to be honest, judging by their movements, the other side seemed unaware of his presence. However, the Lucian continued to apply pressure, which resulted in them remaining unable to move forward into decent gank territory. Eventually, a window opened and I ulted! Breathlessly, I knocked both the enemy Cait and Janna into the air! I felt proud of my accomplishment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*cue stirring score. This, whilst cliched, will do:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u69CkyLJUKU

But as the brief euphoria waned, a disturbing reality set in like the quiet stank of an eggy fart....

The Xin did not move. Not a single frame flinched. No sign of life whatsoever. In fact, I noticed that this player must have had auto attack still enabled, as only a stray caster minion stirred his digital avatar from its slumber.

As the shock of this AFK betrayal wove its way through my body, the lack of a Lucian ult only served to temper this edge of hopeless that plumbed into the depths of my heart. The kind of listless dower tumult that sinks to the pith of one, in the way that some might only feel in the darkest of scenarios.

The enemy Rumble, who was serving as jungler in this horrible foray, then made an appearance to kill not one, not two, but the very three of us. We all seemed to be, in our movements and scurried twitches, united by a very absent logic.

From then on, it was only a matter of steeled confidence being taken away.

As some child might do to a house of cards, the enemy squadron took us apart piece by piece, until the House of Placement Dreams that Rob had Built slowly collapsed. Collapsed as, to mark a well worn phrase, a flan might. Slowly. In the cupboard.

A call for forfeit was made, but the smeared Xin, having been blasted by two of our own team, myself excluded (honestly, I could muster no words) made no agreement on the Surrender Pact. I'm assuming the Illaoi must have been an authentic ally of the besmirched Jungling Warrior, as he also declined every effort for a gentleman like secession.

I will ride again. Maybe not tonight. Nor as the dawn breaks it's golden hue on the infant day. But once again, I shall climb unto the halcyon fields of the Legendary League. I shall find my victory among the Pines of the Gromp, the Rivers Twin, and the vilified enemy Nexus shall fall to the steady and patient knocks of my shield pure.