Tonight League Made Me Cry

For what is probably the first time ever, League of Legends finally made me cry. Please hear me out before you post hateful comments... Tonight I wanted to experiment and try something. I wanted to try Mordekaiser Jungle. I figured if I could get it right it would be easy to get my ghost dragon then go push out a lane while I had it. I didn't expect the following to happen. Trundle. The enemy Trundle jungle starts by just counterjungling me, which is infuriating enough. I try to fight back but he literally sustains all my damage while dishing out enough to kill me in just a few seconds. I try to pick back up and farm jungle, but more and more he keeps appearing. He seeks me out intentionally. If I defend a tower from a wave, he shows up. If I try to jungle, he's there. He always knows where I am, and goes straight for me. I can't escape because he just slows me to a crawl, knocking me back with his ice tower, then kills me in a few hits (I had ghost on btw so can't even flash to safety). While this is happening, and tilting me and yes, making me furious, my team dishes out insults, calling me trash and horrible among other things. Making me feel like complete garbage. I was trying my best, but they really let me have it, both my team and the enemy team. They just kept throwing insults, and while yes I could mute them, the fact of the matter is they'd be doing it regardless of whether or not I mute them. Not knowing all the shit they're flaming about me makes me even more nervous (Plus I like to see what I'm going to report for better reports). In the end, I felt like the worst player on earth. I went 2/14/6. Not the WORST score ever, but still terrible, and all the while my team, my ALLIES are trashing me. To most of you, it's probably nothing. You can ignore it or mute it. I, on the other hand, have a history of mental issues and depression stemming from insecurity. Being called garbage, nothing, really hurts. It reminds me why I'm alone, and reminds me of my exes who left me. It reminds me of the same feelings I had long ago that made me very suicidal. So I logged off, and cried. Now I'm typing this as some form of relief. This match was at the end of a horrible day of league. My first game today was as Akali. I don't play her much (Idk how I'm lvl 3 with her). I was put up against a mastery 7 Veigar. He obliterated me into the ground. I ended the game at 1/12/3. Thankfully my team carried us and we won. The match after that I decided to go top with my old main, Zac. I did good at first, but started getting more and more upset because wouldn't you know it, our Yasuo decided that he wanted to feed. And no I don't mean because he was bad, he intentionally fed because we wouldn't surrender and he felt he wasn't getting ganked enough. So he kept feeding and threatening to feed more until we surrendered. Naturally we lost... The game after that had another feeder and we lost again, but I don't think it was intentional. Rumble top that gave me crap because I couldn't gank him from the other side of the map. He played way too agro and, like most people, blamed the jungler, who happened to be me. Even in the very few games I won today I didn't feel like I won, because I did so poorly and was talked down on like I was nothing. The community in League of Legends is appalling. It's horrible. People treat you like garbage when you have a bad game (and I won't say I haven't been guilty of a couple angry times when an ally fed). I just wish there was a way to make people understand (including myself unfortunately) that it's just a game, and you shouldn't treat people like garbage. These people have feelings. Some of them were just trying to have fun, and you attack them for making mistakes. We need to work on ourselves. Treat people better. If someone is doing bad, don't call them trash. Instead give them some advice if you've played their champ. Positive reinforcement can work wonders. Thank you all for reading, and I'm sorry that I rambled. I hope you all have better days than I had today.